Various studies have suggested that most couples either fall asleep, shower or fidget with gadgets like their cellphones after engaging in sex. Afterplay refers to the cuddling, spooning and kissing that couples do after sex, which can be just as meaningful emotionally and physically as sex itself.
According to sex therapist Christina Spaccavento, cited in Women’s Health, afterplay is beneficial for couples. “For many people, sex isn’t just about physical release, but also about feeling connected and close to their lover. For them, afterplay is just as important as any other phase of sex.
“With your partner, deliberately set time aside to prolong afterplay, as it can be a great way to have time out from everyday stresses,” advises Spaccavento. “You can also use afterplay to talk about what you enjoyed and areas you want to explore.”
In his book Secrets of Better Sex (Prentice Hall Trade), Dr Joel Block provides the below tips for enjoying afterplay:
• Don’t use afterplay as a “sexual postmortem”.
• Don’t air sexual grievances or complaints.
• Do use this intimate time to express sexual feelings, thoughts and desires that you’ve not previously shared.
• Don’t discuss problems with your job, your finances or your children.
• Do cuddle and caress each other for at least five minutes.
• Do say: “I love you.”
Here are some of the benefits of afterplay:
- Creates a stronger deeper bond
Afterplay encourages communication, caressing and kissing after intercourse. This allows for you to share deep thoughts, feelings and sweet nothings with your partner, which will linger in his/her mind for days on end.
- Room for more sex
Kissing, massaging and touching can move afterplay to foreplay, and another round of intercourse.
- Greater sexual satisfaction
Trying new erotic things takes trust, and establishing and maintaining that trust is critical. Afterplay allows you to step away from whatever fantasy or games you were engaging in to remind your partner that you’re there for them.