More often than not, ending a relationship is very hard to do. Whether it is with a boyfriend, girlfriend, barber, or hairstylist, people just can’t seem to find the right words to say when the relationship has run its course. At one time this was a person you may have once loved, admired, or respected, but now for your own reasons you feel that you must end things and move on. Confrontation (the way most things get done) is something many people shy away from. But with a little bit of practice and consideration, you can find a way to break up with someone easily.
Bringing Up the Breakup to Your Partner
Did I do or say something wrong?
How long have you been thinking this way?
Is there anything I can do to change your mind?
If you make the break up about how you feel, then they won’t be able to argue with you. Your partner can make all kinds of promises to change various aspects of their life or behavior, but they can’t change how you feel. This will make it easier for you.
For example, if your partner doesn’t want children and you definitely do, you could bring that up as the reason you want to end the relationship. But you don’t need to explain how some of their habits annoy you and how your friends don’t like them. These things will just prolong the conversation and make the break up harder.
Do you argue over small things?
Does it seem painful to make plans with one another, or do you not enjoy each other as much as you used to?
Do you not feel the spark anymore?
Avoid making a confusing statement might be something such as, “You know I love you, but I can’t be with you right now. Maybe I’ll feel differently soon.” This can make the person think that you might want to reconnect with them again in the near future, which is misleading if you really just want to break up with them.
Giving It Some Time
Anger. In this stage, you might feel anger towards the other person or yourself for the breakup.
Bargaining. This is when you might try to work out scenarios where the relationship might work.
Depression. In this stage, you may feel extremely sad and lose interest in your usual activities.
Acceptance. Finally, you will reach a stage where you feel at peace with what happened and you can begin to move on.
You also may choose to simply ignore each other if it’s the easiest option. It shouldn’t be awkward when you pass them in the hallway or scroll over their contact in your phone. It doesn’t have to be. Take the high road and say “hi” every once in a while just to show that you can move on and be mature.
Moving On With Your Life
Try to get rid of all of the nostalgic reminders you have of your relationship.
Spend time with caring, supportive family members.
Try joining a group to meet new people, such as a running club or a cake decorating class.
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