But I knew that must not happen. If I didn’t want the entire world to come crashing down on my poor little head, I must not let anybody find out what was wrong with me. I had to be careful. Mother was watching every step I took in the house, monitoring my body language, so I didn’t need anyone to tell me I had to be extra vigilant and smart. When my mother could not take it anymore, she called me into her room in the morning.
“My daughter, I want to ask you something and I want you to be very honest with me,” mother had begun, her gaze fixed at me. “Is there something bothering you? Apart from the fact that you were not feeling too well days ago, it appears there’s also something troubling.”
“How, mummy, why do you think so?” I quickly asked before she took my quietness for confirmation of her suspicion.
“Because you have been vey withdrawn lately. You have been sad and that is so unlike you. It’s like there is something troubling you, my dear,” she paused for a short while as she held my hand in hers. “You know I’m your mother and I know you too well when something is bothering you. In fact, it’s like you’re afraid of something. Tell me, is there something going on I should know about?”
“No, mummy, there is no problem, there is nothing troubling me,” I replied, looking slightly away from her gaze.
“Are you sure, Rosemary? You know I’m your mother, you can tell me anything,” she persuaded me to open up to her.
For a fleeting moment, something inside me wanted to speak out and confess my sin, but quickly, I held myself back. If I as much as said a word of what was wrong with me, I didn’t need anyone to tell me the nightmare that would follow. I would have nailed the very end of my life to a coffin myself if I did that.
“Yes, mummy, I am sure. Nothing is wrong with me, you’re just getting worried over nothing.”
She was just looking at me as I talked. She knew something wrong somewhere, that’s the instinct of a good mother, but she couldn’t put her finger to it.
She gave a heavy sigh. “Okay, if you say so. But just remember that I am your mother, and there is nothing you should hide from me.”
“No problem, mummy,” I assured her I would do just that. I had barely finished responding when we heard a knock on the door.
“Ah, who could that be?” mother wondered. Then she turned to me. “Rosemary, please go and check who is at the door.
I was thankful to whoever was at the door. That knock promptly put an end to our conversation and I was so glad and eager to run out of the room. I was starting to sweat profusely and I didn’t want mum to notice. But I didn’t know then that I was going to sweat even more by the time I see who was at the door.
I stepped out of mother’s room, got into our living room and then headed for our small gate. Mother too had stood up and was coming behind me. The shock I got when I opened the door was unbelievable. Standing at the door with a stupid smile on his face was the community doctor, the man who wanted to sleep with me before he could terminate the pregnancy for me!
I was totally shell shocked. I couldn’t believe the man was actually standing right in front of me. He was decked in his old school black and dusty looking jacket and trouser, same one he was wearing last time I saw him. What in heaven’s name is this man doing in our house, I’d wondered. He had a stupid smile on his face that made my blood boil and it practically took every bit of my willpower to stop myself from screaming at him. “Hello, dear, how are you?” he’d said to me, the stupid smile on his face became even more annoying now.
“Good…good morn…good morning, sir,” I stuttered, trying to get my composure together.
“How are you?” he asked a second time.
“What are you doing here, sir, hope no problem?” I ignored his question. I was sure he did not come to the house to ask how I was doing.
“Oh, I can see you’re not happy to see me, are you?” he was not actually asking me a question, he was merely saying the obvious.
“You still haven’t told me why you’re in our house this morning, sir,” I kept a straight face. If he was expecting me to be scared silly, then he was wrong.
“I came to see you actually,” he said.
“You came to see me? But why?” I threw at him, my voice filled with disgust.
“To ask you if you have made up your mind about the deal I offered you, or would you rather your parents know what you’re hiding from them?”
At that very moment, I hated that man so much I could very easily have strangled him right where he was standing.
“But, sir, you didn’t have to come over to my house, when I’m ready for your deal I will come to you!” I just barely restrained myself from yelling at him.
“So, when do you plan to come?” He flashed me that stupid smile of his as he ran his lustful eyes all over my body, mentally raping me in the process.
“When I’m ready I will come, please, please, leave…”
“Rosemary, who is at the door now? You are just standing there, let the person come inside now,” I heard mother’s voice say to me from behind.
“Good morning, mummy Rosemary,” the stupid man stepped inside the compound. That was when my mother saw his face and realized he was the one at the gate.
“Ah, doctor! Good morning, sir,” my mother greeted excitedly. She felt proud the doctor had personally come to our house.
“I didn’t know you were the one at the door, how are you this morning, sir? Hope no problem?” mother asked him.
Mother turned to me. “But, Rosemary, why did you keep the doctor at the door instead of letting him come inside?”
“No, mother, he was…he was just asking…”
“It’s okay, mummy Rosemary, she’s just a child, I was the one who was asking her questions actually,” he came to my rescue. “I was on my way to the office and I decided stopped by to see you.”
“See me? Hope no problem, doctor?”
I started to tremble all over. Every pore on my body started to ooze sweat. Is this man here to expose secret? God! I’m in big trouble!”