DOCTOR LOVE, please, I need your help, sir. There is this guy I’ve been dating for over a year now. I love him and I thought he loved me too. At least, when we first started he was always showing me love, giving me his undivided attention. But I have noticed that all of that has changed. This guy no longer has my time. He hardly gives me money to take care of myself. A lot of times when I call him he doesn’t pick up. Most times when he even picks he is probably snapping at me. But the moment he wants sex, he won’t let me rest. That’s when he starts to tell me nice things just so that he can get in between my legs. I love this guy a great deal, but I suspect he doesn’t love me one bit. Please advise me….Abby.
DEAR ABBY, seriously, you make me very angry with your last statement. You said you suspect your boyfriend doesn’t love you one bit! Lord have mercy, what else do you want the guy to do to you before it dawns on you that he is only using you and your body to feed his Anaconda whenever it is hungry. You need to wake up, girl. The guy is using you, its as simple as that. I’m sure you deliberately did not include your age so I won’t be able to blast you because I suspect you’re probably still a teenager. And if you’re still a teenager like I suspect, then I urge you to keep away from boys for now. They are nothing but bad news. Until you’re emotionally and mentally ready for them, you will only keep getting broken-hearted. Good luck to you.
HI DOCTOR WALE, my name is Oluwakemi and I’m 19 years old. I have a boyfriend who is 23 years old and we have been dating for almost two years now. The problem I’m having with him is sex. He wants us to have sex and I have told him I can’t do it. I am not sure I am ready for sex now. I want you to help me, please, what should I do?
DEAR KEMI, you want to know what you should do, right? RUN! RUN!! RUN!!! That’s what you should do. At 19 years old, sex should not be in your curriculum right now. You shouldn’t ordinarily be in a relationship that revolves around sex. If you must have made friends, they must be friends that will impart positive stuff to you. And sex is certainly not one of such positive stuff. You can have a close relationship with guys that can challenge you academically. Be friends with guys that will bring the best out of you, not the ones that are only interested in taking you to bed and then boast to friends afterward that they have seen what you’ve got in between your legs. And I’m sure that you know how disappointed mum and dad would be if they find out you’re already indulging in sex. What if you get pregnant in the process, and the possibility is quite high? Tell that young man you do like him because I can tell you really do, but that sex is out of it for you as of this moment. Like KSA and Onyeka Onwenu sang many years ago, if he truly loves you, he should wait for you till you’re ready. Period.
HELLO, DOCTOR LOVE, my name’s Mary. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by testing it with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…
DEAR MARY, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man and enjoy him, then it’s as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.
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