Doctor Love, can you help me? I have a lady in my life whom I love so much, but the problem I’m having with the relationship is her ex! The guy simply will not let her be. He finds every reason to call her, to see her and even keeps in touch with my woman’s siblings and yet she says its over between them! What do I do, Wale, this situation is driving me crazy.
My brother, I can understand your fears. Everyone feels this way whenever an ex flame that should’ve been dead and buried suddenly makes a return and starts throwing spanners into the works for you. It can be really frustrating. But I’d like to think that it all boils down to the woman involved. If you trust her and she has her head screwed on tight to know that she’d be asking for trouble if she gives her ex too many liberties, then there’s nothing to worry about. It won’t be totally out of order though if you could also speak with your woman and let her know how uncomfortable with the situation, but be careful not to begin to show traits of a man that’s feeling terribly insecure. Most women don’t like that.. It might seem amusing and pleasing to them at first when they realize you actually love them enough to feel jealous over their closeness with a male friend. But when it begins to get out of hand, they start showing irritation. Once you’re certain to a large extent, all you need to do is talk about it and let her know how you feel.
Hello, Dr. Love, my name’s Kemi. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by having sex with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…
Dear Kemi, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man, and enjoy him, then its as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.
Hello, Mr. Wale, please, I’m emotionally troubled. I’ve been married for close to six years, yet my heart lies with another man. The worst part is that the emotion is getting stronger each passing day. The guy my heart lies with is also married with kids. We both have two boys each. We actually dated for about six years and when it was time to seal our love with marriage, we had genotype issues, something my mum didn’t even want to hear of. And we parted ways. We have not met in the last six years but I seriously look forward to seeing him. But I’m afraid, would he want to see me? Does he still have affection for me? Wish I could talk to you on phone, it’s until then you will understand me. Please conceal my number…from Troubled Lady.
SWEETHEART, as a rule, I never sympathise with married women who lust after other men. In fact, I’m usually a lot harder on them than I am on the younger single ladies. And my position is simple, once you’re married, you have to everything possible to keep your marriage alive and make it work. But in the event that you’re having trouble holding down your marriage, perhaps because your man just does not have the desire to make it work, then it is understandable if you decide to walk away from that marriage. But for every decent woman, it is only when you have walked away that you can start another relationship with another man, and not before then. If you’re found with another man before your marriage is dissolved, it will be believed that you’re the guilty party in the troubled marriage and blame you for everything that went wrong with it. My dear, I honestly do feel for you, you probably would’ve been married to the love of your life if you guys didn’t have genotype issues. But that’s life for you, it can be cruel sometimes. Still, I will advice you, do not wreck your home, worse still, someone else’s home. How many people will understand if your husband caught you with this man? Do you want to become the man’s second wife or what? Think about your future, think about your children, do you want to throw everything away for this guy? Shift your attention and affection back to your husband, dwell on his positive sides and tell yourself you’re going to love him with all you’ve got. If you truly love the children you’ve given to him, then you must learn to love him too. The guy has moved on and is happy in his place inside your past, please, dear, let him remain there inside your past.