Pastor Bisi Adewale is an International Conference Speaker on Relationship Marriage, Parenting and Family Life, He is the author of the best-selling books: Secrets of an Irresistible Wife, Hot and sizzling marriage, 32 ways to know true love, Parenting Teenagers and more than 70 other best-selling books on marriage and family life.
He is the President of Family Booster Ministries International and College of Marital Success (CMS), Host of Family Booster Moments on TV, watched in many countries across the globe. Bisi Adewale is an accountant by training, called and trained as a family minister to rebuild all dilapidated homes, He is the host of the popular Lagos Couples’ Conference and Breakthrough for Singles Summit. He blogs daily at www.bisiadewale.com and www. totalfamilylife.com, He is the founder of the family forum www.familyparliament.com. He is happily married to Yomi a Chartered Accountant and Counsellor and Teacher of the word, they are blessed with Godly Children and are live in Lagos, Nigeria.
Two weeks ago, Pastor Bisi Adewale just launched a new family online platform www.famililifers.com where people can have access to different opportunities and development-centred information. At the event, City People’s DAMILARE SALAMI 08155134152 had an interview with him where he spoke basically on the impacts of the family in the nation. Below are excerpts from the interview, enjoy.
When you put the current issues across the country such as poverty, political instability, insecurity, banditry and kidnapping and what have you together, you will realize that the average family is at the receiving end. How would you advise the average Nigerian family to contend with this and come out strongly?
For Nigeria to be great tomorrow, we have to pay attention to our young ones. The world health organization says that Nigeria is the number three nation with more population of children between the ages of zero and fourteen. So what is going to happen to our nation in the next five years if we refuse to take care of the children in this category? The problem of insecurity today is caused by the people we didn’t take care of some ten years ago. So the nation has to arise. We cannot afford to leave everything into the hands of the government. We all have to play our supportive roles in assisting the government to see to the end of these problems. Insecurity, poverty, unemployment and all the problems mentioned are destroying families and surprisingly, the people causing all these troubles came from one family. So if we truly build the family, we are building the nation.
The economic situation in the country does not encourage the woman to stay at home to cater to the needs of the children. Hence, the father and mother go to source for livelihood for the family. Does this not leave the children at the receiving end?
The way our nation is set up presently is very hostile to the family. I used to tell people that when I was growing up, my father used to go to work but I normally meet my mum at home. She works but her work permits her to be at home before 2 pm. Daddy will be back around 5-6 pm and he too will be able to see us in the evening. The evening time is family time but that is the time an average father or mother is held up in traffic. For example, somebody is who works in VI and lives in Sango Otta closes around 5 or 6 pm, she may not get home until 10 or 11 at night and likewise the man. Many times, we don’t talk about this. We choose to talk about insecurity and other ‘major’ problems. Yes, poverty and insecurity are hard-biting in our society but there are so many other things that support and encourage them. Our social security in Nigeria is zero, our healthcare is zero. I went to a hospital to pray for someone a few days ago and I saw people carrying their loved ones on the bike to the hospital, there was no ambulance to call. I also saw people laying on the bare floor in the hospital because there was no bed. All these things can make people mad and make them go into criminality. So, we need the government to wake up and develop the country. There should be nobody below 13 that is not literate in this present Nigeria. They should also ensure that they bring in foreign investors so that there will be more jobs and diversify our economy not relying on oil alone. Oil will dry up one day and if it does not, buyers will. In the next 10 to 15 years when there are electric cars everywhere, nobody will buy your oil again. Every nation of the world is developing except our own dear nation so we should do something. It got to me because I am a family man and coach and they come to me every day for coaching. Sometimes families come to me with their fight and I observe that they don’t have a problem. The only issue they have is poverty. Sometimes we had to set up men for jobs and by the time they got the jobs, you find out that the insecurity that is making him violent and beat his wife will just stop. So let’s work on employment, poverty, healthcare, social security system. During the COVID-19 lockdown, I discovered that Nigeria couldn’t lockdown for more than three weeks when some nations went into six months and more and there was no problem. I called a friend in the UK to ask how they were doing it because one million boys didn’t allow us to rest. He said they won’t allow you rest because they are hungry. Meanwhile, he had not stepped out of his house for three months and he’s receiving his salary. Even those that are not working got stipends from the government over there.
What is your advice for young couples especially the average ones on survival in such a time as this?
I used to tell young couples anytime I talk to them that the real power they have is the power of unity and that is what is being threatened anytime they fight. So they should stand together, build together and cut their clothes according to their materials. You don’t live to impress people, live to express. When you are buying cars you don’t need, spend the money you don’t have, you are only trying to impress. I used to tell them that nobody is impressed by what you wear, it is only your pocket that is being oppressed. No salary is enough if you are not a money planner. What we need to do is discipline. Another area I would like to touch is parenting. Especially mothers, I want to send you to your boys and sons. The husbands of today that are battering their wives are the boys of yesterday that their parents did not teach the dignity of womanhood. Can you imagine a mother telling her boy that girl beat you? Common go and beat you own back. I usually tell them that you are raising a woman beater. When a woman is being beaten, all the women will shout foul but I usually tell them you raised him. So let’s raise our boys in such a way that they will respect and honour women so that we will stop all these wife batteries, assassination, kidnapping, banditry and all the social vices we are having now. If parents do the right thing, you won’t see all the criminality in our society.