Egocentric describes someone who is self-focused and unable to imagine any other viewpointthan their own. Egocentric people often show a lack of empathy for others. They cannot see things from a different point of view than their own. Egocentric behaviour is a negative form of human energy which is the root of many ignorant and negative behaviour patterns (for example; greed. jealousy and unhealthy competitiveness) and is a danger to the individual and collective well-being.
We always blame society’s failures on uncontrollable circumstances, but most people can’t really see the truth about the cause. Take a general look over most leaders around the world, what do they have in common?! They are absorbed with self-importance; their egos are so big they don’t think anyone or anything is more important or smarter than they are!
The structure which the leadership is based upon is incorrect, out of date and needs change. Regardless of the job or position a person possesses, if for example, you deem a garbage man’s position more important than any other position; People in those positions will abuse their power and think they are above everyone else! The old paradigm based on a hierarchy which feeds the ego of those on topmust be changed in order to reflect equality amongst all people including the leaders.
Nothing can change the fact that we are still operating under rules that do not apply to those who imposed them on us in the first place; therefore, the general population’s assumption of being free is camouflaged by misconceptions.
They hide behind minorincidents that they reveal to the public as important when it is not; then in secrecy, they make deals behind closed doors which are only beneficial to them and the lobbyists that supported their election campaign financially in the first place and then claim their secrecy is for national security. What they meant to say is that the secrecy is for their security from you.
Don’t think that replacing one leader with another may make a difference because the system in place is createdto serve the few already on top,not the masses. Economic growth is a term used more often to reflect abundant jobs and business growth, but the economy is controlled by those who have the money. It is not a living entity that grows and shrinks on its own! They create growth by creating businesses and jobs or shrink it by taking away jobs and shutting down businesses. So, the little guy like you is not responsible for what happens to the economy. Spending your money in a rigged economy controlled by a wealthy minority will not make a hill of beans to uplift it from its slump.
People with big egos are like spoiled children. The more you pay attention to them, and let them get away with bad policies, lies,and disregard to a life of all people; the bigger their ego will become and develop an intolerable behavior. In our present society, we encourage competitions in schools, sports, jobs, and material possessions, so people could feel more superior to one another. That is encouraging an ego-based society.
No one enjoys the company of these people because all they want to do is show how they are more important, better, smarter, and wealthier than anyone they know. Their ego is out of control, and the more they have of it, the less spiritual they become. Spirituality is fundamentally based on controlling our own ego. Each person must make a conscious decision to control those ego-based emotions, otherwise, they will get swept away in reaction to the egotistical individuals like a puppy out of control.
When the majority of us start to realize what is going on, we stop participating in the charade. We turn our attention to those who see life from a better perspective, where all people are treated equally, humanely, with love and respect.
THE IMPACT OF EGOCENTRIC BEHAVIOR
Egocentric people can find it difficult to connect with others or maintain meaningful relationships for a long period of time. The bias toward self can result in an egocentric person struggling at home, at work, and within their intimate relationships. The primary reason for these struggles is the lack of ability to empathize or imagine someone’s viewpoint other than their own. As you can imagine, this might negatively impact things like:
- Trust, ·Closeness or intimacy, ·Emotional attunement, ·Decision making, ·Collaboration, ·Teamwork
It can feel challenging to be around someone who is egocentric because you feel invisible or feel that you have no voice when spending time with them. Some of the ways being around an egocentric person might impact us include feelings of:
- Low self-worth. When we feel irrelevant we are left feeling low as if our opinions don’t matter
- Self-doubt. You may question your own judgment or perception
- Confusion. You may wonder if the person recognizes their egocentric ways
- Sadness. You may feel sorry for the person or sad for yourself after interacting with them
- Anger. It can be difficult to practice assertiveness with an egocentric person, which can lead to frustration and anger over not feeling seen or heard
- Resentment. After a time, you might find yourself bitter toward them for the ways they behave and how you feel after interactions
- Detachment. Unfortunately, if the pattern continues, you may desire to move away from the person as much as you can in order to protect your sense of self.
There may be times when you can simply choose to limit your exposure to an egocentric person, however, there are many situations in which it is not an option and you have to learn how to take care of yourself while in their presence.
EGOCENTRICS IN RELATIONSHIPS
For the egocentric person, life can feel isolating and anxiety-producing. When living with a cognitive bias, an egocentric person may believe that all eyes are on them and that every move or decision they make is noticed by others. This can create a tremendous amount of pressure for that person, causing anxiety around their decision making and social interactions. Even when they want to connect with others they may not know how to do that or may make efforts to connect and become confused as to why their efforts don’t work.
To be in a relationship with someone who is egocentric can feel very lonely and you might feel you are never seen, heard or valued in the relationship. Your partner may make important decisions without you, make plans based on their needs and schedule, or seem distant or uninterested if you come to them with an emotional need for comfort, reassurance or encouragement. The egocentric partner may believe that the relationship is fine when their partner is often left feeling invisible and devalued.
COMMON EGOCENTRIC TRAITS
It is common for most people to have some level of egocentrism. Research has shown that adults tend to have egocentric shortcomings in the following ways:
1.False consensus effect: When we overestimate how much other people share our perspective or preferences. We tend to think that others would agree with us or see things our way.
2.Curse of knowledge: When those who are experts in their field tend to talk above people around them on that topic. They forget that there is a difference between the level of knowledge they have on the topic compared to those around them.
3.The illusion of Transparency: When people feel that others can clearly see their emotional state in a given experience. For example, we might think that others can see how anxious we feel when we are giving a presentation at work.
4.Spotlight effect: When people overestimate how much others are noticing their presence or behaviors. We may walk into a room and feel like people are watching our every move when, in reality, they are casually interacting with each other and may not notice us at all.
HOW TO BECOME LESS EGOCENTRIC
Since we all have an egocentric slant to some degree we can all benefit from softening our egocentric edge. Being self-focused can be a benefit when we are trying to stick to our values or when we are feeling disrespected.
However, when an egocentric mindset begins to negatively impact our everyday behavior it can cause problems. There are helpful tips for becoming less egocentric.
- Slow down. Sometimes we make decisions based out of fear. Fear likes to pressure us and force us to think in a very “flight or fight” way, even when we are not in the presence of danger. Slowing down can help you clarify what it is that needs to be decided, considering how your decision may impact those around you.
- Look around. We like to think that life is all about us. There are people around us who care and want to be a part of our lives and decision making. Look around and see who is standing by you and willing to help.
- Take a chance. Sometimes people become more egocentric because they have learned through experience that they cannot trust others to be there for them. As you look around and notice who is standing by you, take a chance to let someone show you what they can do. Not only are you practicing walking through your fears but allowing someone who cares about you to get close.
- Stay present. Just as some egocentric people have learned to not trust others, some have learned to never show vulnerability. Even if you make a decision and someone notices a misstep, keep moving. All of us want to live well and it never feels comfortable when others see our mistakes. Staying present allows you to practice navigating uncomfortable situations, learning that you can move through them and still be okay.
FINAL THOUGHT
All of us are a bit egocentric at times. However, a truly egocentric person does not consider others and is heavily focused on the needs and desires of self to the point of not being able to recognize or consider the opinions of others or to empathize. An egocentric person does not necessarily obsess over things like success, beauty, or status. They simply don’t consider other people in their decision making.
It is important to emotionally take care of yourself if you happen to be around an egocentric person. Remember that their inability to consider your perspective or opinion is about their cognitive bias. A cognitive bias is a logical error in thinking that affects the decisions and judgments that people make and not a result of anything you have done. Keeping a thoughtful distance from their behavior can help you emotionally protect yourself around an egocentric person.
Take Care of Yourself and Each Other!
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