Hello Wale, I need your advice urgently. I have a guy whom I love dearly, but the problem is that ever since my mum set her eyes on this guy, she has hated him with a passion that frightens me. And when I ask my mother what the problem is with my boyfriend, all she tells me is that her spirit does not agree with his, that he will definitely cause me serious heartbreak. My boyfriend thinks it’s because he’s not from a privileged background cos my folks are quite wealthy. But I don’t mind and I expect my mum to respect my choice and respect my guy, who by the way, is very hardworking, but she’s not doing that. I’m really losing my cool, Wale I don’t know what to do. Please, don’t publish my number.
You didn’t tell me your name and most importantly, you didn’t state your age. But it’s okay. Now, you will have to be careful here how you go about this matter. If you want to do anything at all, it will be to appeal to your mum to give your guy a chance and get to know him better. Let her know the prospects your guy has to be a successful young man, and most importantly, why you’re sure he’s the last person that will break your heart like your mum is worried he’ll do. Do not argue with her or get into a shouting match over your guy’s case, this will only make her more resolute in her resolve to disapprove of him. Talk to your partner too and let him understand that your mum’s attitude has nothing to do with his status, that she’s only being protective of you, that’s all. If your guy begins to show the right attitude and continues to work hard at elevating himself, your mum might just begin to show him some respect and approve of him. She might also admire his perseverance and steadfastness, realizing that her daughter might never find a better man. Best of luck.
Doctor Love, please, I have a serious problem here. I am a girl of 23 years and I’m with a baby girl. The problem is that my hubby is going out with a girl in my street. Please, what do I do stop it? My name is Jenifer and I stay in Lagos. Please hide the last digits of my number like you usually do for others Thank you very much, I must say you’re doing a very good job……08035476***
Dear Jennifer, yours is an issue you must be very careful with. To start with, do you have proof your husband is going out with this girl or you’re merely speculating or listening to hearsays? If all you have are suspicions and no proof, your case could turn against you. But if you already have your proof and you and you prove to your hubby you have all the evidence you could possibly need to confirm he’s been sleeping with another woman, then confront him with your proof. But its also very essential that you don’t go about it all in an aggressive manner that may suggest you’re spoiling for war with him. Rather, appeal to his emotions. Let him see how much it’s hurting you and embarrassing you as well, knowing that many others would also know he’s dating the girl in question. Explain to him the pain this brings you and the public ridicule you have to stomach as well. Tell him that if he does not end the relationship and continues to hurt you, you may have no other choice than to inform his parents. That, I expect, should bring him to his senses. But, please, whatever you do, do not get into a fight with your man over this girl, you will only send him running further into her arms if you make the home too hostile for him. And one last piece of advice, I need you to also pay more attention to yourself by making more efforts to look as good as you were looking when you first got married. You need to make him see you’re still the attractive looking sweet girl he married. Best of luck.
Hello, Mr Wale, my name is Christy. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for four years. He is a very nice person but the problem is that we seem not to understand ourselves. We argue a lot. He has been asking me to pay him a visit ever since I visited him last year but the long-distance between us is too much. I really wish to see him but my job is not giving me the chance and I don’t have the freedom to go anywhere I want. We used to talk all the time but all that changed. And anytime I try to talk to him about it, we always end up arguing. Please, tell me what to do, I love him. Please, don’t reveal my number.
Christy, you and your man need to ‘calm down’, you hear me? I think that the strain in your long-distance relationship is starting to overwhelm both of you. Long-distance relationships do come with their own peculiar challenges and one of them is the pressure to be with each other after a while that you last set your eyes on each other. And once that meeting is not looking feasible in the shortest possible time, emotions begin to go up. Your guy wants to see you again. You can’t blame him for getting worked up. Now, the problem I have with your request is that you didn’t state your age and neither did you state your location and that of your guy. Having this information would’ve guided me better in offering you the appropriate advice. For instance, if you were of age, I would’ve suggested you speak to your guy about coming over to visit you and then you introduce him to your family as the guy you’re dating. Let them at least, know him. And if he’s at least sincere about his feelings for you, he shouldn’t run away from being introduced to your parents. That way, you could also tell them you wish to pay him a visit once you are able to take a few days off at your workplace. But I do not know how old or mature you really are and if it would be possible for your parents to let you travel out of your base to see a man they hardly know. Try to avoid arguing too much with your man, instead, speak with him gently and let him know you also badly want to see him again but that you both need to put heads together to work out something.
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