HELLO DOC, I’m married to a man twenty years my senior. We didn’t date before going to the altar. The marriage has been five years of unhappiness, quarreling, etc. He doesn’t satisfy me sexually (he’s diabetic and hypertensive) but I put up with it because I thought of all that before agreeing to marry him. The problem is that he is a prostitute, he sleeps with anything in skirt! He cheats with impunity! His friends find me sexy and attractive as they keep me making advances at me at the slightest opportunity they have, but I can’t cheat on him. Each time we have issues, that’s when men mostly make advances at me. No matter how much I try to spice things up in the bedroom, he still cheats. And worst of all, I get little attention as he keeps using his health as an excuse. At the slightest provocation, he threatens with divorce. When he gets tired, he apologizes, but we keep going in circles. I’ve thought of leaving severally but my twin boys need some level of care. He also denies me money whenever we have issues. He’s very wealthy. I’ve reached my elastic limit. Help, please!! (I beg you, do not reveal my number otherwise, he will strangle me if he finds out I wrote to you).
Hmmm, sweetheart, you’ve got a lot of issues going on here. You will have to be very careful how you deal with the problems on your hands. If what you have expressed here is a true representation of the state of your marriage, then it looks like you’ve been lacking the necessary affection and respect that you deserve from your husband. If he’s giving you little attention on account of his diabetic condition, then how does he find the energy to ‘service’ his girlfriends? But I think the situation can be remedied. You need to get one or two of your members family involved in this. And these must be people he listens to and respects. Don’t walk out of the marriage, you must think of your boys. They need their father. And besides, you do not have the financial muscle to deal with single motherhood. If you are still married to the man and he denies you money whenever you have issues with him, what do you think he’ll do when you are separated? You must fight but save your marriage. Hang in there and make him realize you’re worth much more than those women he’s wasting his energy and resources on outside. Talk to him passionately and talk to a couple of people you know he respects within the family. I believe he will see reasons and have a change of heart at the end of the day. And lastly, keep well away from your husband’s friends! My God, what kind of friends does he keep anyway? Is it a case of birds of same feathers flocking together? Please keep away from them before they get you into trouble. Good luck.
HI DOCTOR LOVE, I have a problem I want to discuss with you. My body doesn’t seem to move when my husband touches me, but I love him deeply. I can’t tell him because I know how he’ll feel. I have tried different sex styles all to no avail. I don’t know what to do, please help me Doctor Love (No names and number please)
Dear, my heart really goes out to you. I can imagine how worried you must be feeling right now. Yours would’ve been easier to deal with if you’d said you do not love your husband. But from the tone of your mail, you sound like you truly still love your man. The only possible area I suspect the problem could be coming from is that of your husband’s knowledge of your husband’s body and how it responds to various forms of arousal from your husband’s touch. By this I mean, how exactly does your husband touch you? How well does he understand the various parts of your body, that is, knowing the various sensitive areas of your body that turn you on and the areas that don’t? And what about you, do you communicate your thoughts, your feelings to him? Do you let him know the parts of your body he should be concentrating on? For instance, is it your right nipple that drives you crazy when it is sucked and not the left that your hubby concentrates on? You shouldn’t be shy, you let him know. These are the things he must work on before sealing it all up with the appropriate penetration. I suggest you call me so we can really talk extensively. I’m not sure this is something we can properly address on this page.
PLEASE DOCTOR LOVE, I need your help. I’m a girl of eighteen years and in SS3. I’ve been dating this guy who’s about thirty years old for five about months now. I have slept with him so many times and he’s never trusted me. He is always accusing me of sleeping around and always beats me up. Now he doesn’t call me again, I’m always the one calling him… Christiana, Akwa Ibom. (Please, don’t show my number).
Can you just listen to yourself? You’re eighteen in SS3, dating a thirty-five-year-old man that has slept with you severally? To begin with, are you living with your parents at all? I ask this question because I wonder how you could be sleeping with a thirty-five years old man ‘so many times’ right under their nose and they don’t suspect a thing? Now, the same idiot accuses you of sleeping around and even beats you up! How did you even get yourself into this mess for God’s sake? And why are you doing this, is it for monetary gains or just for the fun of it? If it’s for monetary gains, what do you spend the money on, to feed or buy material things? Is it that you’re lacking some things your parents can’t provide for you? I practically struggled to read through the whole of your text. I found it so upsetting and scary at the same time. What are you young kids turning into? If you do not stop this nonsense you’re doing, you’ll get yourself into serious trouble soon. At eighteen, you should be talking about being an undergraduate, not spending the whole of your life sleeping around! I will really need to have a serious talk with you.