DEAR LOVE DOCTOR, my husband and I got married few months ago. Before our wedding, we had made love only once during our one year courtship. I insisted it remained that way because as Christians, we were not even supposed to have had sex before marriage. Now, the problem is that my husband lacks the skills and experience when it comes to love making. He doesn’t believe in foreplay. He just climbs into bed, mounts me and minutes after, he’s all done. He doesn’t even last long enough. To him, it doesn’t matter whether I enjoy the thing or not. I try to discuss these issues with him but I’m afraid he might think of me as wayward or insatiable. What do you think I should do? Please, help me –Anabelle, 08037268***
DEAR ANABELLE, I must confess you have quite some work to do on your husband. Sad to see that he simply lacks the knowledge and experience to give you sexual gratification. But you have gotto talk to him, enlighten him on what your body wants from him, regardless of what he would think of you. Truth is, if you don’t talk to him and make him understand these things, you’ll continue to suffer emotionally, and for how long do you think you might be able to endure and suffer in silence? Educate your husband on the need to engage you in intense foreplay before penetration. Let him understand how your body responds to his touch and intimate him on the most sensitive parts of your body you’ll like him to pay some attention to before foe a shirt while before he goes inside for the main business. It could be that your husband, just like some other men out there, just doesn’t have the understanding of how the woman’s body works before settling down with one. As his wife, it’s now your responsibility to educate him. Most women will concede very easily that the men they cherish the most are the ones who understand their body the most. No woman will be happy with the one who simply wants to have ‘sex,’ it’s the one who makes ‘love’ that will most certainly set their desires on a high all of the time. You must talk to him, Anabelle, only you can solve this problem yourself. This is the only way to guarantee the survival of your marriage. Good luck.
HELLO DOCTOR WALE, all the guys I have loved always end up cheating on me one way or the other. It is either they sleep with my close friend or someone else. As at now, I’m very much single and I’m beginning to wonder if I have a spiritual problem. Please advise me, I’m Stella, 080137507…..
DEAR STELLA, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, sweetheart, you only haven’t met the man that’s been destined to be yours, that’s all. Apparently, you have not been dating the wrong sort of guys. If any of these guys you dated were meant to be yours, they would not have done what they did to you, running off with the next available thing in skirt? You must not let this bother you, remain the decent and beautiful lady that you are. Don’t get too desperate, don’t go searching for any man. So long as you’re a good woman, you will remain a gold fish. And you know what they say about gold fish, that it has no hiding place. Don’t you worry, dear, be patient, be prayerful, and your own man will come looking for you. Trust me.
HELLO UNCLE WALE, I need your help. I am a seventeen year old girl, a year one student in one of the universities. People say I’m pretty and I also think I am. My problem is that I don’t know how to say ‘no’ to guys when they come toasting me. But at the end of the day when they get tired of making love to me, they walk away and another set of guys will come toasting. I don’t know what to do Uncle Wale, please help me. Please, don’t reveal my number, Suzanne, Abuja.
FOR CHRIST’S SAKE, Suzanne, what is wrong with you? You have described yourself as pretty and a first year student of the university, what then is the reason why you’re doing this to yourself? Girls who go the path you’re walking now, often than not, end up battling with severe inferiority complex. When a woman has a terribly low esteem of herself, she grows timid and lacks the courage to look a man straight in the eye and tell him, ‘sorry, I’m not interested.’ You’ve got to wake up, snap out of this illusion you’re in and stop these ‘vultures’ you call boyfriends from draining you of all the sweetness and goodness that’s been deposited in you by mother nature. If at the age of seventeen you have lost count of the number of men you’ve been in bed with, what happens by the time you’re through with university? You would’ve emaciated greatly as a result of being ‘over sexed’ if you will permit my grammar! Please, Suzanne, stop doing this to yourself, these guys will only vandalize your body, suck you dry and dump you like a piece of trash. Do not allow yourself become a trash can of semen for irresponsible men. Don’t be cheap, add value to your body and tell yourself that no man that’s not worth his salt will ever get the privilege to date you ever again. Wish you the best.