Please, Doctor Love, I need your help. I am a young man of 28 years. I am an IT consultant and a Christian. I worship with one of the small Pentecostal churches and handle some of their IT issues for them. The church is a nice place of worship but my problem is the wife of the pastor. She has been on my neck asking for a relationship. She is about my age while the pastor of the church (her husband) is close to forty. She is a very pretty, young babe and her husband is equally good looking but I know what her problem is. They have no child yet and she has been showing it too much and making it obvious to people around that she likes me and this makes me very uncomfortable. She says she will give me money and support me whenever I call on her to do so. Days ago, she asked that I meet her somewhere private. What should I do, sir? Should I meet with her or turn her down? My name is Kingsley.
KINGSLEY!! Please, do not let me shout your name a second time before you start making plans to change your place of your worship. From what I’m seeing, this lady will not let you be until she gets both of you into trouble. She could be having marital issues with her husband or she’s just a terribly promiscuous lady, either way, the solution to her problem does not lie with you. That lady needs serious help. Maybe she needs deliverance and the husband, her pastor, does not even know this. Listen to me, Kingsley, run, run, run away from this woman as far as your legs can carry you and that includes leaving that church. Look for another where you can worship your God without any Jezebel trying to get you into trouble. A word, they say, is enough for the wise.
HELLO DOCTOR LOVE, I have a very serious problem and I need your help. My name is Ify, I am 25 years old. I have been dating my guy for about two years now. From the look of things, we are deeply in love with each other. Not a day goes by that we don’t speak to each other. And at least, every weekend, we try to spend time to each other. He has not proposed to me yet but I know he would probably have done so if not for his friends. I don’t know what the problem is, but they all don’t seem to like me. Anytime I visit Bayo (he’s Yoruba while I’m Igbo) they always act cold towards me. Sometimes, they will just leave the house once they see me. I once had an issue with one of them and I apologized later, I don’t know if that’s what they’re holding against me. Or, is it because am not a Yoruba girl? Please advise on what to do……
DEAR IFY, I can feel the pain in your heart dripping from your message. But I also believe there’s probably more to this than you’re telling me. What I’m trying to say is that in the disagreement that you had with one of his friends, you did not give details of what transpired. Were you at fault? Did you disrespect his friend? Did you insult his friend? These are the questions I would like to have answers to. And I don’t think this has anything to do with the fact that you’re an Igbo girl like you alluded. I suspect that his other friends are acting cold towards you because of what happened between you and their friend. Their thinking would be that if you could have a disagreement with their friend and in the process, they believe you disrespected him by making some utterances that you probably shouldn’t have made, then you’re not good enough for their friend and that you could also disrespect them the same way you disrespected their friend. I suggest that you sit down with your guy and tell him you need his help to make things better between you and his friends. He could invite the friends over to his place where you would have the opportunity to apologise to them for your behaviour and ask for their forgiveness. Let them you’re not happy that things are not going right between you and them and that you want to make things better because if things you cannot be comfortable with their friend if things are not good between you and them. I am positive that if you speak well and you let them feel the pain in your heart, they will open to you and everything will be settled. Good luck, Ify.
DOCTOR LOVE, please, I need you to advice me on my relationship with the girl am presently dating. We have only been together for about a year. She’s 23 while am 27. She’s just about to graduate while am already working. I love this girl. I really care about her, but I don’t know if she feels the same way about me. I have a feeling that she is more concerned about the things she gets from me than what she brings into the relationship. She is always demanding one thing or the other. And once I fail to give her something that I promised to give her on the day I said I would give it to her, all hell will be let loose. I really love her but this attitude of hers really worries me.
MY BROTHER, to be candid with you, you have a serious problem on your hands. Your babe is highly materialistic and this will continue to affect your relationship with her until things will start to fall apart between you two. Now, I am not advocating that you shouldn’t spend money on your woman or that the babe has no right to ask you for money, that’s not my point. Truth is, it’s your responsibility to take care of her, especially if she lacks the financial capability to take care of herself. But her demands must be done in moderation. She must not overstretch you to a point where you have to spend beyond your means just to keep her happy. Any relationship that is centred on how much money the guy can spend to keep the lady happy is surely bound to hit the rocks at some point. Let your babe know she is stretching you beyond your limits. Let her know you’re not happy that she is not putting in enough of devotion into the relation, rather she’s just been concentrating on getting from you all the time. Do not be scared that she might threaten to break up with you, if she really cares about you, she will remain with you. But if she’s been fooling you all this while, then she certainly was never meant to be yours. Let her go. It is better you experience a broken relationship with her than a broken marriage.