I was seated in the confinement of my Office, shoes off, legs on the expansive table, moulding Pounded yam into small balls and packing it with Efo Riro down my throat …with that voice echoing in my head, “Dewumi, you have to add flesh and increase from Size 10 to 12. Name calling gone wrong.
After rinsing my hand, I sprung to my feet and dashed to where the full-length mirror was situated, at the corner of the office.I turned around, checking myself out and from the corner of an eye, I saw my younger sisters, grinning at me where they looked so beautiful in a framed picture on the dresser. No, they must be mocking me with the look on their faces…”Deecherry, You ain’t going to add more flesh”.
I picked the photo frame, frowning at both of them when the door to my Office was suddenly yanked open and she barged into my Office with my Assistant behind her, looking so confused and apprehensive.
She tried to explain to me that she tried stopping her but I waved it off because I understood her situation…Immediately,I noticed Mrs.Bukky Bash”s drained, dejected and gloomy face.
I hugged her as she broke down into tears. I said to myself,”Not today.I have my own issue bothering me”.But empathetic side of me reared it’s head and I couldn’t help but hold and lead her to the two seater Sofa.I sat her down and handed her tissues to wipe the tears streaming down her face.
I called my Assistant for two cups of hot chocolate.
I stared at her as she sipped the hot beverage. That should calm her a bit,I thought…. Nooooo!!! She was half done when she stood up,walked around my office and turned abruptly,staring at me.In an emotion laden voice,she asked,”Dewumi, how will you feel if your man cries out the name of another woman while making love to you?. Wow!!!!!!!.
Mr.Bash now calls me Lara in bed,and as you know,my name is Bukky”…She sat on the cold Marble floor gently and started wailing like a tormented child. I couldn’t move from where I was, perched on the Sofa..How do I comfort such woman?. I was totally lost myself. But do people(man/woman),make such kind of mistake?. Why would someone make such mistake? If you find yourself in such situation,what will be your reaction?
I stopped abruptly before i could knock on the door. “Yeah baby,go faster…Give it to me…Almost there…You are the best baby”, she shouted.
Wow!!!.Some couples are enjoying.I was at Kenny’s Office and her Assistant told me she was back home.I looked at the big Wall clock as seconds ticked away.” It’s just Five past Eleven’,I voiced out.She smiled sheepishly and nodded affirming the obvious. I jumped into my Car and headed to her house at Fola Osibo,Lekki Phase One.I parked outside,greeted the Security Guard,Mustapha who confirmed his Madam was home.I stepped out of the Car and raced up the Stair. But all these Married Couples and their “Sexcapades”.Isn’t that what I always advocate?… Spicing up Sex lives.So,my friend Kenny and her husband left work to do the needful.
I was still deep in my wild imagination and painting lucid images of both of them behind Closed doors when the door suddenly opened. I was shocked to the marrow.The stood in front of me,Sam.He nearly bumped into me and suddenly,he started shivering . I screamed at him and barged into Kenny’s bedroom. “So,you now bring your girlfriend to f**k in my friend’s bedroom?”. As I stormed into the bedroom,I saw Kenny struggling to her feet,naked…taking long strides to the Closet to get a robe. …I fainted.
” What pushed you into this kind of sinful mess”,I asked quietly…Obviously, after I was revived. She couldn’t look at me straight in the eyes. Her husband ejaculates within three minutes thereby always leaving without being satisfied.So,she found satisfaction in the arms of her energetic Driver. I heard this is destroying many homes.
“Trust me,I’m going to smash that phone if you ever put any password on it again”, he shouted as he handed her the Phone. She hissed at him,collected her phone back from him and laughed hysterically as she mimicked him…”Trust me,I’m going to smash that phone if you ever put password on it again”. She howled back at him,” Interesting!. If I put password on it?.Don’t you lock your phones too?.Or are you telling me that you lock your phones because of some illicit contents therein?”. She rolled her eyeballs and in an angry tone screeched, “Excuse me,you lock your phone, I lock my phone…and if you smash my phone,I will squeeze and smash those your two balls hanging between your legs!!!”.
Dave stood by the door,sweating and panting as he watched Nike run up the stairs to the bedroom.He looked at me and I had to control the bubbling laughter erupting the depth of my stomach.I stared back at him with an expressionless face. He heaved heavily as he deposited his large frame on the Couch…He cleared his throat and I heard him call my name. ” Deecherry,did you see what happened? “. I nodded and said,” Yes Dave”. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and leaned forward,”I lock my phones because of vital information it contains but don’t you think there is something more to it for Nike,my wife to lock her phone.What is she hiding from me?”.
Sheepishly in a mischievous manner, I told him it was obvious Nike also had important stuffs on her phone.He looked at me,trying to search my eyes and decipher the fact…He stood and moved towards me.He peeped up the Stair way and quietly inquired if Nike had some obscene messages on her phone.I couldn’t hold the eruption any longer so i dissolved into laughter asked him,”Do you have some “illicit messages” on your phone?”. The way he take shake his head ehn,me sef pity the head…Make head no commot o.
I stood up and bade him goodnight. At the door,I reminded him not to smash Nike’s Phone o…Hmnn,make Nike no come use his balls to play squash… He laughed so hard to my amazement and threw his Car keys at me which I dodged… But come to think of it,is it okay for spouses to lock their phones.
And if they lock their phones for whatever reasons,is it not advisable for both of them to know each others passwords to dissolve any form of doubt?.