In a world where living is expensive with different struggles, why would you want to lose your sanity over a man or a woman?
At this age, stage and time, if you still do not know how to handle your partner then, you are as good as liability not asset.
Someone somewhere is cracking his or her brain asking, how does ones’ relationship/courtship being defined as liability or an asset when emotions can’t be counted, and as the lifestyle Queen that I am, I will explain how you can manage your lifestyle in relationship/courtship
According to our lifestyle doctor Bodex, relationship is divided into 2 types:
(1) Liability: Under liability we have the following that consume both time and money.
Headache, sadness, makes you think a lot if you are doing the right thing or not, act abnormal, nagging, mental imbalance, makes you talk too much etc. and when you start feeling any of the above, you must always run to a doctor/a pharmacist or anyone who can be of help so you can be mentally, emotionally or physically stable. Once you have been marked present in all of the above you sure know or convinced you are in a toxic and money spending relationship as liability is known for anything that goes out without returns
(2) Asset: Under asset, it has to be anything that adds value to your existence or compliment your existence (Can you see that happiness has zero worries?). if you are in an asset relationship, all you need to do is, sit back and count your blessings. Note: Asset relationship doesn’t speak long grammar like liability. Its classy, simple, less or no drama, more money and fortune
So, on today’s edition, I will be talking about the best ways to handle your partner, stay sane, make money, stay happy and finally, be whatever boss you intend or intended to be.
Let me take you down a memory lane, pay attention to details, don’t be distracted and enjoy it while it last. Wink
In this write up, I will use the word *Tenant* instead of *boyfriend* because my heart is my home and anyone opportune to be there is a tenant incase gobe (Problem comes) shele I can easily rent it out to someone else until I sell it out permanently. Wink
So, on this faithful day I had an event to cover in Abuja but because I was missing my tenant, I prayed to God to bring up something that would stop my Abuja trip so I could head to my tenant for a nice and cuddling evening. I got to the airport to pick up my ticket from the organizers and as God would have it, I was issued an economy instead of business class
In my sincere mind, I knew it was a mistake but because of my evil plan to go have a nice time with my tenant I decided to escalate my disappointment at the organizers.
What the hell is going on here? Why would you give a whole me (but in my mind I was like, who I be self) an economy ticket instead of first class? Why on earth would you want to mess up my brand (Obviously the person in charge of ticket doesn’t know me so I played on that). I kept on ranting even though the situation was resolvable but I just didn’t want it resolved. Laughing so hard in my mind but my face was as strong as the stone that builders rejected that’s now the corner stone.
While ranting, I was using style to push my box to the exit door and quickly called my tenant to let him know I won’t be flying again but will head to him straight and he said ok. The ticket abi na ticketing officer apologized and pleaded to issue the right ticket but hell no I refused and called my driver to come back
Still on the anger level, some other guests traveling for same event came closer to ask what’s going on but I was just looking out for a call from my driver. Ghen Ghen driver is here and I stormed out of the airport. Oh dear, come and see happiness plus relief when I entered the car, it felt like a perfect plan to me until the worse happened
Ummmmm, I can see some people can’t wait to read the worse that happened but chai you guys like gist ooooo. Anyway, I will tell you so you can be the perfect and ideal landlord or landlady you want to be. hahahaahah
Can you all remember I said I quickly called my tenant I was coming over and he said ok? So, I quickly went home to change into much sexier dress and after dressing up, my mind told me to call him back out of courtesy to let him I was on my way. The phone rang and this happened:
Bodex: Hello baby, I am home and heading to you
Tenant: ok but are you coming immediately? Can you wait a little bit for me to call you back?
Bodex: I don’t understand why I have to wait when I literally fought at the airport and cancelled my trip just to be with you (With confused state of mind)
Tenant: (stammering) hennn hennn babe, please wait a little bit for me to call you back as my ordinary female friend is here with me
(Since I have grown into a more matured lady, I do not pay attention to things like that anymore nor let it get to me plus its only in movies I watched such scenes but for some minutes, my ears went blank like I was hearing double)
Bodex: If your ordinary female friend is with you, why would you want me to wait when you are supposed to introduce us when I come?
Tenant: I said you should wait because she came with her friends
Bodex: With my confused look again I asked *The girl is so ordinary and so close to you that she had to come with friends? I don’t think I understand you dear
Tenant: I don’t want to talk but will call you once she lives
Bodex: Immediately I started laughing and he hung up
The next thing that came to my mind was that, I should first remove whatever sexy dress I had on and go into tomboy mood. Another part started saying, don’t go so they don’t beat you but knowing that I have never caught a man cheating, I decided to go see how it looks or feels like more so, I get so much cheating complains from both my male and female friends plus as you know, experience is the best teacher. wink
I quickly changed into a tomboy package (a jean, top and face cap) and off to his house expecting to meet the worse moment. Getting to the gate, I was scared he must have instructed his gateman not to let me in but summoned the courage to call my girlfriend who’s one of the top most bloggers in Nigeria and I quickly narrated the story and told her to stay on the phone while I go in to knock on his door (Yes I don’t have the key to his house and I don’t care about that so don’t dwell too much on the knocking part) since the gateman didn’t stop me.
Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! Behold my tenant came to open the door in an extremely short bum pant with splashed of water at the manhood section (I then ended the call with my girlfriend). I walked in slowly, sat down, looked around and asked *where are your ordinary friend and her girlfriends* but he said *Her friends have gone but she’s inside my room*. I took a deep breath and continued,
How would you feel if I do this to you? He replied, *I won’t be happy but if you say the person is your friend I would understand. I added, *if you meet me your girl in bra and pant with ordinary male friend you will be ok? He said *Babe, I am sorry but I don’t have anything to do with this girl, she was someone we had something to do before and she likes me a lot.
My world didn’t crumble as I sat pretty, laughing and at the same time chatting my girlfriend on the latest development in his house. Luckily for me, he sat all through with me and didn’t go inside the room. At some point the girl got pissed and started calling him on the phone, he would pick, went in to attend to her and immediately returned. My people to call the long script short, my girlfriend advised I go in side the room, take my bath and sleep on that same bed but I told her *Babe I am a classy queen and shouldn’t be caught with such act so I will keep it cool till she comes out.
Hardest part, she refused to come out maybe because of shame or she’s angry with our man but finally came out after like 4 hours looking like a disappointed bride. While trying to pick her things from the living room, I heard my tenant saying *Bodex meet ummmm and ummmm meet Bodex*. I tried to look up to see who was meeting who but she pushed him aside and left.
The reason I was calm all through was because, after so many heartbreaks, I decided to opt for this type of lifestyle which I will explain below in any relationship even though all men aren’t scum but some are really disgusting with irritating character that can actually turn a woman into something else and same goes to some terrible women
Below are few tips I live on every day of my life to be able to fit into any madness when it comes to relationship:
Now, let us (Men/Women) look at few things to retain our sanity during courtship/relationship
Nothing is ever sure not even yourself…
Be free and build your happiness around yourself in case of any unpleasant moment, you will be fine.
Never ever judge any book by it cover no matter how old the book. Get closer, read page by page and pass your judgement.
Treat people the way you would love to be treated because no matter how long, such treatment will locate you.
Always talk about relevant things to better each other’s lives
Feel free to fall in love but let your senses be as active as your dreams. Be fruitful and transparent
Show true love at all times even if your partner seems fake but don’t hesitate to cut it off if it doesn’t look productive
Try to study and understand each other’s madness/calmness so you know if you can live with it or not
Note: People that lie with calmness, speaks so soft, smiles with half mouth, act like they are all over you and with 100% confidence are the real MVP that you need to be 1000% careful around
Note To Ladies:
If you have a man and it seems you care for him more than he does to you, do not stop because of that instead, act like he’s a less-privileged or an orphan that you are taking care out of pity.
Never forget that no emotions or feelings attached to taking care of an orphan except for the love of God kind of feelings
Take care of him for weeks or even months depending on your aim for opting to do that (because some do It to make their men want them more, miss them and probably get them use to it before disappearing) and then stop so you don’t exhaust the little change you need for flying days in case he is still not feeling you.
Be an asset by trying to help him build empire, stay focused at work and be emotionally balanced so he can remember you for life. Cook different meals and pay attention to house chores.
Do not follow him on any social media even if he is following you
Shame on you if the only thing you can offer a man is your *Pu**y. The strength you use in wasting such man’s time can actually be used to go for checkups.
Ladies, stay woke, have fun and fly like birds with zero worries
Note To Men:
Love women like they are homeless and just looking for comfort so you can retain your sanity incase someone else offers accommodation
Be respectful and adore your woman if she is true to you. Be responsible and help actualize her dream so you can be unforgettable
When such homeless women leave you, you will thank God for fulfilling the scripture which says *When I was homeless you gave me a home*
Your d**k is actually a liability if you can’t help your partner grow, build an empire with her own ideas so she can be the most powerful, popular and great woman on earth…
So now, when women treat you men like orphans and you in turn treat us women like we are homeless how on earth is anyone be heartbroken? Yes I know the bad eggs have spoilt market for the good ones but for how long are we going to be punishing one another for a 3rd party*s sin. With this we all we live happily ever after. Wink