•For Men Only
Believe it or not, no matter how much we pride ourselves that we know a great deal about our women, often always, we get to realize there’s a really great deal about them we don’t know. I have always thought women were and still are the most beautiful yet complex creatures created by the Almighty. You almost need to be specially gifted to have a clear comprehension of how the mind of a woman works. But trust me, once you get to understand your woman perfectly, they can be the most adorable treasure to possess. And yes, they can love you for life, even if it means sacrificing their own happiness to see you happy. Here are a few things men should NEVER try with your woman. As casual and as unserious these things may seem, they can cause serious friction if not properly handled.
(1) If you run into your ex-girlfriend in public in company of your woman, the first thing you MUST do is
put your arm firmly around your woman and let it stay there until you’ve said goodbye to your ex. DON’T take your hand away, otherwise, you’re on your own o. And one more thing, do not wait till your woman has to introduce herself, if she does, you’re in big trouble!
(2) When you tell your woman about an important business lunch you had with a prospective female client and it lasted for a couple of hours, DON’T ever tell her how gorgeous the lady really was. I think it’s a good idea to tell her she turned out to be a fat and ugly woman. Or better still, if you’re not sure she’ll believe you, tell her you suspect she’s a lesbian! That way, she’ll put her search lights off you and you can sleep well that night, and might even get a good roll in the sack for being a ‘good boy’.
(3)When your woman tells you, ‘I’m bored, wish I could find some excitement today.’ DON’T tell her, ‘honey, don’t worry, you’ll feel better when you watch your favourite Zee World series, or lets watch Man United beat Chelsea,’ that’s not what she means, neither is it what she wants. The appropriate thing to do is say, ‘I think you’re right, I feel same way, where do you want us to hang out?’ And you’ll see her face come alive.
(4) When she’s arguing with her friend, your friend, or especially her mother, if you can’t take her side, then DON’T you take sides at all. It is safer for you that way, or else you would have a long night on your hands arguing and explaining why you chose to take sides with her opposition.
(5) Although you have swapped saliva over and over again, especially if you’re both big fans of long passionate kisses, she still may not believe you should share toothbrush with her. If you go over to her crib to crash for the night, DON’T just go pick up her toothbrush and use. Ask if its okay to use her brush in the morning when you’re set to take your bath, if you don’t want her to sit you down and give you a long and embarrassing lecture on hygiene.
(6) If you’re getting ready to go out at the same time together, let your woman have a good start ahead of you. Let her take the bathroom first and spend all the time she wants to spend there, and yes, let her also use the bathroom mirror for as long as she wants. DO NOT get in her way. This works out best for everyone. Trust me.
(7) Whenever you’re asked, “Which of my friends do you think are hot?’ There is only one correct answer: “None.” Can you hear me? None o! DO NOT mention any name. Okay o, a word, they say, is enough for the wise.
8. Women may have hair in peculiar places, including above the lip —if you know what’s good for you and the relationship all together, DON’T EVER call that a mustache. Ever.
9 If you use the toilet shortly after she finished using it, and the smell of her poo is still strong enough to strangle an infant, DON’T complain, just throw the toilet window wide open and explain to her why everyone needs to take some purgatories once in a while. DON’T ever complain or even grumble o, you don’t want to start a mini civil war in your house, do you?
(10) When you’re with her and a nice pretty, a wickedly curvy girl walks past, and you can’t resist staring, DON’T you stare with lust written all over your face, stare with a frown and when you’re done, turn to your woman and ask, “Does she even think she’s fine-looking like a slut?” My brother, if you don’t get that part right, she might not let you crawl anywhere close to her in bed for the next two weeks!