It is happening at an alarming rate these days. Everywhere you turn to, in any part of the world, one will find that the marriage institution is fast collapsing. Marriages that were held only a couple of months ago are on the brink of collapse. Wives are killing their husbands, husbands are slaughtering their wives. The home that should be the haven of peace for couples has now turned into a house of war and horror. And it is all because, in most cases, the foundation of these troubled marriages were faulty in the first place. Mountain of Fire Miracles and Ministries General Overseer, Dr. D.K. Olukoya, is a man of God that is very particular about the sanctity of the marriage institution. He is always worried that many marriages, including Christian homes are breaking. This is why he set up the HAPPY HOME program in the church to enable both married couples and singles in the church have a platform where they bring their marital challenges, find solutions to them and learn from how others deal with their own challenges as well. Below is a session the respected man of God had with the singles and youths of the church, highlighting for them the danger signals to watch out for before taking that big, bold step that will lead to marriage.
Shameless female dressers attract shameless people. As a lady you must be particular about the way you dress. You cannot go about dressing indecently and expect decent men to come looking for you, it is not possible. So, once you discover you have a female partner who dresses indecently, be very careful before taking that big decision, because such a woman will always bring you nothing but problems.
Beware of sexually reckless men and women. There are so many ladies who were disvirgined long before they got married. In their younger years, they were sexually loose. Many were deflowered by men with whom they went into spiritual covenant and which they have not been able to break till this day. Then, the spiritual content of that first man they slept is also very important. If a sexually lose guy is the one that disvirgins you, you too will be sexually lose. If an evil person is the one that disvirgins you, evil will be in you and that evil covenant will continue to follow you.
A real man will never ask for sex outside marriage. Once you realize that all the man you’re proposing to marry talks about is sex, sex, and sex, you have not found a husband. Or you have not found a wife yet. A real man will be patient and will wait for you till you both get married.
When you spend time in the company of wrong people, you are just wasting your destiny. They say show me your friends and I will tell you the kind of person you are. If your major friends are unbelievers, drunkards, club goers, then you’re silently wasting your destiny and worse still, you are not likely to attract a good man or woman.
Do not marry a man or woman who is coming from where you are coming from. Marry from where you are going to. That is, marry someone who will take you to your destiny, not just someone who came from your village, from your tribe, or from your former university or town. No, that is where you are coming from, you should marry someone who will take you to your destiny. You should not marry a man that you are begging to pray, you should marry a man whose prayer life will challenge you. If you’re in a relationship with somebody who is allergic to prayer, you better run.
Pressure and anxiety are intelligent robbers making people to embrace counterfeits and substitutes. May you not marry a counterfeit wife or husband. When they are putting pressure on you in the house and are saying go and marry, everyday all they are saying is saying go and marry, they keep putting pressure on you. But if you allow that pressure to get the better of you, you will end up with the wrong partner.
When a courtship is violent, it is a pointer that the marriage will become a time bomb. If during the courtship, the man is already giving you dirty slaps, the one you’re going to get after the marriage will be stinking slaps. If somebody is smoking cigarettes during courtship and you discover, and he begs and promises he will stop, and you forgive him, by the time you get married, he will graduate to smoking marijuana.
It is the duty of the man to find and propose, not the lady. This means that, as a lady, you shouldn’t go to a man and say I love you. It is wrong. Any man who cannot propose to you that he wants to marry you cannot husband you. If you do that as a lady, you have cheapened yourself and you’re a disgrace to womanhood. Such a man will never treat you with respect if you ever become his wife.
Pay good attention to your appearance. Do not appear anyhow. You’re a young lady, don’t dress like a grandmother. No man will find you attractive. The fact that you’re in a Pentecostal church does not mean you should dress haggardly. We do not encourage our women to dress shabbily. A woman who does not dress before marriage will never know how to dress well when she’s married.
It is spiritual insanity to plan on converting someone so that you can marry them. The reason it is insanity is because you’re not a converter and you have no power to change anybody. If you are courting a man that is unfaithful or reckless, and you think you will change him, he will never change when you get married. May you not be spiritually insane.
Keep yourself pure and your bed undefiled. That is, before marriage keep yourself pure, keep your bed undefiled. It is insanity to go and visit a man who lives alone in the house, and you think nothing will happen.
Wedding is a day affair but marriage is a lifetime, always remember that. Do not be carried away by all the fancy attractions that come with a wedding ceremony, consider more the marriage that will follow after.
Wage war against the devils that fought your parents’ marriage. If I ask some of the people listening to me now, that if you have ever seen your parents hugging each other, very few will raise their hands. All you have ever seen them do is fight each other. If you have noticed this trend in your life, you must wage war against those devils before going into your own marriage.
Marriage itself is a covenant, so always look before you leap. You must be hundred percent certain you’re going into it with the right partner. Sometimes when you jump into it, breaking it is serious problem.
It is better to wait for God’s time for marriage than to waste away a marriage at the devil’s time. Be patient. Be cautious. Don’t be in a rush. May you not marry at the devil’s time. It is always dangerous to marry at the devil’s time. May you marry at God’s time.
It is better to be single and believing God to be married than to be married and praying to be single. There are many who are married now but are praying to be single. Some are even praying that their husbands or wives should die.
Children born through fornication will need deliverance from the covenant of fornication so as not to follow the steps of their parents. So, if your father and your mother never married before they gave birth to you, you need to pray hard now so that the same thing will not happen to you.
Getting married in darkness is a tragedy. That is, you got married without divine direction. You got married without any information from heaven, you just went into the marriage, you must avoid this kind of marriage, it’s a serious tragedy.
A broken courtship is better than a failed marriage. If you notice that the hand of God is not in the marriage you’re planning, call it off. Pull out because the consequences can be very fatal.
If you’re a true friend, you will attract true friends. You must be truthful to yourself as a person, that is when you will attract true and responsible friends and partners.
Caring hearts never lack caring partners. Once you have a caring heart, God will always send somebody to care for you.
Desperation leads to frustration. Never let it get to a point where you are ready to marry anybody, sleep with anybody just so that you can get married. It always leads to frustration.
Bad marriages can be avoided before they begin. Don’t let it start before you start running helter-skelter, avoid it first before you end up regretting your mistake.
The best way to enslave a woman is to show love to her excessively. As a rule, women do not run away from where they’re pampered. They love to stay where they are appreciated and loved. So, if you have a man that is not willing to pamper you, even if it’s a little sometimes, please think twice.
Love is not blind but it is infatuation and lust that is blind. Many people make this mistake. You must fall in love with your eyes wide open otherwise you will be in serious problem.
Love puts God first while Lust puts sex first. You must not mix up these two. There is a huge difference between Love and Lust. Before you enter that marriage, you must be sure which one of the two is the foundation of your courtship. If you don’t get it right, there will be problems.
Test every love with your peace of your mind. If peace of mind is absent in your marriage or courtship, God is not in it. That is, if you’re in a relationship and somewhere inside you there is no peace, you better make a U-turn, because God is not in it.
Marriage without friendship is like the sky without the sun. What we are saying is that it is extremely important you marry your friend. Many of our fathers and mothers, they married their enemies and that’s why there is trouble. If the man you’re planning to get married to is always fighting you, cursing you only to come back and apologise later, be very careful, that man or woman may become your number one enemy when you become married.
If you hurry into marriage, you may end up with the person who will bury your destiny. Many have had their destinies buried just because they rushed into marriage with the wrong person. Do not be rushed into marriage for whatever reason. It is always a dangerous thing to do.
– WALE LAWAL
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