DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, my name is Sandra, how can you help me? I am a young girl of twenty-four. People say I’m pretty and intelligent. I am a graduate of English Literature and I mingle with both sexes easily. But the problem I have is one that has been bugging me for a long time now. I think I like boys a little too much and this has resulted in me becoming addicted to sex. Whenever I see a guy that I like, I find my body yearning for him. Sometimes, I get wet just speaking to a guy on the phone and thinking of him making love to me. Right now, I have three boyfriends and I have sex with all three of them whenever they are available. One guy can’t satisfy me, I must at least have sex four to five times a week, so that’s why I need to rotate my sex timetable between these three guys. But deep down inside me, I’m worried. I know it’s wrong and I know I have to stop but I just don’t know how. Sex is so sweet and beautiful to me. It’s so bad that when that intense desire hits me, I could fuck a guy (forgive my language) I barely know. All I think of is sex, but I want to stop Doctor Love, how can you help me before it puts me to shame?
SANDRA, I will be as honest as I possibly can with you, you do have a really serious issue on your hands. And I’m glad the enormity of your situation is not lost on you, which is why you’re seeking a solution before, to borrow your exact words, ‘it puts you to shame.’ Right away I must tell you that you need to see a Sex Therapist. You could also add spiritual medication to it. No kidding. What you have is an abnormal appetite for sex. Yes, sex is sweet and beautiful, but it is also not the essence of our existence. For you, that is what it has become, and that’s a huge problem. You’re a young and intelligent young lady, there’s still a whole lot ahead of you that you can do with your life other than getting banged left, right and center. I know it’s like a demon inside you, controlling your hormones and triggering them to submerge you in an overwhelming hunger that keeps you looking for nothing but a strong, turgid-looking male rod that will bring you hot, steamy sex. But you must begin to fight that demon. You must learn to stop it from controlling you because you own it, so you should be controlling it and not the other way round. Get your mind engaged in other things that will keep you away from thinking about sex. Stay away from pornographic materials and please, for God’s sake, drop your multiple boyfriends and stick to only one. But, the one most important thing you must do is seek the help of a Sex Therapist. You could call me should you need us to discuss some more. Good luck.
DOCTOR LOVE, please, I need you to advise me on my relationship with the girl am presently dating. We have only been together for about a year. She’s 23 while am 27. She’s just about to graduate while am already working. I love this girl. I really care about her, but I don’t know if she feels the same way about me. I have a feeling that she is more concerned about the things she gets from me than what she brings into the relationship. She is always demanding for one thing or the other. And once I fail to give her something that I promised to give her on the day I said I would give it to her, all hell will be let loose. I really love her but this attitude of hers really worries me.
MY BROTHER, to be candid with you, you have a serious problem on your hands. Your babe is highly materialistic and this will continue to affect your relationship with her until things will start to fall apart between you two. Now, I am not advocating that you shouldn’t spend money on your woman or that the babe has no right asking you for money, that’s not my point. Truth is, it’s your responsibility to take care of her, especially if she lacks the financial capability to take care of herself. But her demands must be done in moderation. She must not overstretch you to a point where you have to spend beyond your means just to keep her happy. Any relationship that is centered on how much money the guy can spend to keep the lady happy is surely bound to hit the rocks at some point. Let your babe know she is stretching you beyond your limits. Let her know you’re not happy that she is not putting in enough devotion into the relation, rather she’s just been concentrating on getting from you all the time. Do not be scared that she might threaten to break up with you, if she really cares about you, she will remain with you. But if she’s been fooling you all this while, then she certainly was never meant to be yours. Let her go. It is better you experience a broken relationship with her than a broken marriage.
DOCTOR LOVE, please, I need your help, sir. There is this guy I’ve been dating for over a year now. I love him and I thought he loved me too. At least, when we first started he was always showing me love, giving me his undivided attention. But I have noticed that all of that has changed. This guy no longer has my time. He hardly gives me money to take care of myself. A lot of times when I call him he doesn’t pick up. Most times when he even picks he is probably snapping at me. But the moment he wants sex, he won’t let me rest. That’s when he starts to tell me nice things just so that he can get in between my legs. I love this guy a great deal, but I suspect he doesn’t love me one bit. Please advise me….Abby.
DEAR ABBY, seriously, you make me very angry with your last statement. You said you suspect your boyfriend doesn’t love you one bit! Lord have mercy, what else do you want the guy to do to you before it dawns on you that he is only using you and your body to feed his Anaconda whenever it is hungry. You need to wake up, girl. The guy is using you, it’s as simple as that. I’m sure you deliberately did not include your age so I won’t be able to blast you because I suspect you’re probably still a teenager. And if you’re still a teenager like I suspect, then I urge you to keep away from boys for now. They are nothing but bad news. Until you’re emotionally and mentally ready for them, you will only keep getting broken-hearted. Good luck to you.