Dear Doctor Love, I have a little problem and I need your help. I am Bimbo by name, and 25 years old. I have been dating my guy for a couple of years now. When we started our relationship, it was beautiful. But afterwards, we started drifting apart. He is a good guy. Both of us cannot explain what the problem, but I think we are growing apart. I am tired of pretending that all is well with the relationship, I want to put an end to it and move on but I don’t know how to tell him. Please, advise me, what should I do?
DEAR BIMBO, before you make the decision you want to take, you must ask yourself, what exactly went wrong with the relationship? Do you sincerely believe you have no blame in the collapse of the relationship? And rather than jump to the hasty conclusion that the relationship is over, why don’t you sit your guy down first and both of you talk things over. I will ask that you tread with caution. If this guy is a good guy like you said, then he deserves that you sit down with him and talk things over. It could be that all you basically need is to bring back the sparks in your relationship as against completely throwing it all away. What is the guarantee that the next guy you go for will turn out to be as good as this guy has been to you? Think about it. Dear, and tread with caution.
DOCTOR Love, my name is Peter. There is this girl that I just started talking to lately and I think she kinda likes me because when I asked her that has she ever thought of dating a guy she said ‘yes’ and when I asked her when she took the decision, she said ‘today’. So, definitely, I think she’s talking about me and I just wanna know if I can ask her to be my girlfriend. Is it right or wrong? Thank you.
MY dear Peter, I am not going to spend much time counseling you. Its not necessary. I will make yours very brief and straight to the point. NO! Capital NO, you cannot ask her to be your girlfriend. If you are familiar with this column you should know by now what I tell young people like you who come here asking for relationship advice. You are still way too young to dabble into these things. This is the time to focus solely on your academics. If you ask the girl to be your girlfriend and she says yes, the next thing you want to have with her is sex. You are about my second child’s age, and I cannot imagine her talking about the possibility of having a boyfriend let alone dating a guy. Only three things should be important to you and your age group right now, and that is education, education and education! So, please, stay away from that girl.
Hi, Uncle Wale, my name Amaka and I’m 15 years old. I am in SS3, Uncle Wale and a lot of boys have been pestering for relationships but always I tell them I’m not ready for one now. But there is this guy that has been disturbing me for some time now and I have told him I am interested in him.
DEAR AMAKA, I am still struggling to make sense of your request. The truth of the matter is, you did not even make any request or seek for my advice, all you have done is to inform me that, at 15 years old, an SS3 student, your focus now is on a boy you intend to have a relationship with. That is good, you are doing well. So, what do you now want me to do, to give you my support or blessing and encourage you to go ahead and enjoy yourself? I’m sorry, you won’t get that from me. Right now, your priorities should be your education, not boyfriends. With the kind of boyfriend you’re interested in, all you two will ever talk about is sex. I hope you realize that you’re risking getting pregnant by engaging in sex at your young age. Seriously, how I wish I knew you personally, I would’ve loved to sit you down and talk real sense into your head! Amaka, Amaka, Amaka!!! Can you hear me? How many times did I call you? Leave boys alone and stay away from sex. When you grow older and more mature, trust me, you will be the one running away from sex.