•Reveals Shocking Things About Her Past
Hearing her speak will surely bring tears to your eyes and you will marvel at what God has done in her life. She is not only mentoring the depressed but living a life full of bloom that shows that God is the rewriter of all histories. Pastor Funke Adetuberu is one of the popular female Pastors in Ibadan and Nigeria. She is the pretty wife of pastor Nelson Adetuberu of Faith Chapel International based in Ibadan. She strikes you as somebody who has a deep passion for her calling and one who has laid her life on God’s altar. The depth of her story is however not in her calling but in the manifestation of the manifold grace of God upon her life.
By every human standard, she probably would not qualify for her present status. But God literally pulled her up from the miry clay, cleaned her up and made her a vessel unto honour. Today, she is not only a celebrated minister of God but a woman with a vision to touch the hurting world. The multifaceted woman runs a Women College of Ministry who has ministered and mentored over 4000 women. Hundreds of women have graduated from college. She is the founder of Mending lives foundation, a charity organization which was founded to address emotional struggles & any form of addictive lifestyle in people’s lives and giving hope in every hopeless situation for over 20 years.
This woman of courage and determination was one of the guest speakers at the just concluded Arise Women conference in Lagos where she revealed a very deep portion of her past as she addressed over 4000 women in order to encourage them and give them hope in any hopeless situation. City People Society Editor, TAYO FAJORIN OYEDIJI brings you excerpts of her very touching and revealing speech at the event. Read on
I am so grateful to God for the life of the Convener of this event, pastor Siju Iluyomade. One of the reasons I am celebrating her is because it is difficult for a woman to blossom and bloom, stand out and become outstanding in a generation like this. Everybody wants you down so you have to bloom. I will not take your time but I want you to hear my heart, I came from a very dysfunctional home, my mother divorced when I was 6 months and the allegation was adultery so I am a bastard, but I discovered that there is no child that is an accidental discharge.
When you give birth to a child in a neighborhood, my mother will ask, a boy or a girl, the moment the person says, she is a girl, my mother will say, don’t name her Funke ooo, because I was a reproach. If you are going to hear my heart this moment, I want to say to one woman, bloom by force.
When I was in class 3, I got pregnant, and my mother did not know until the pregnancy was 7 months. So, my mother told one of my cousins to go and do an abortion for me. Aborting a seven-month-old pregnancy is not an abortion. Under incubator, a seven-month-old baby will live. The baby was seven month and I was taken to Igboho, I grew up in Ibadan. For about 5 days, I was given a lot of drugs like pintos and the baby came out as a boy and the baby was still breathing. So, my cousin led me to the toilet to flush that boy in the septic tank and as soon as I turned, my cousin began to sleep with me with blood till l left that village.
Tell your neighbour it is payback time. And from that day, pain, sleeping around was my next nature. If I am a grandmother and I am looking like this, I am almost 60, you should know I was beautiful when I was younger. Listen to me, there is no woman in the bible that is worthy of my envy, it is an abomination to say, God makes me like someone else because I live in a better dispensation.
The only thing people in the bible can do is to inspire me. I look at one woman in the scripture who bloomed by force, I may be bent, I may be bowed but I am not breakable. The devil hates you, you have many enemies if God has an enemy, who are you? Gen 38 explained a lot about destiny and how to bloom by force. Have you been in a situation that everything bad is happening to you and everybody concluded it is your fault? And that is why it is so difficult for me to be in a clique because sometimes I don’t look like them. When they are telling the sweet stories of their family, I am always lost. I am a palm tree, unafflictable. I am too loaded to be stranded. I am not a chicken, I am a lion, lion and the in me must roar. A lion does not give birth to a chicken. You can not mess with me. So when I am clothed, I wear some imaginary clothes that whatever anybody says about me does not get to me.
I have written over 54 books, one of them is One Woman Gang. If you don’t want anybody to say anything about you, do nothing, say nothing, they will still talk. I was asking myself at a time, what am I looking for at this conference, Pastor Siju, or did I know you? But I was officially invited, I did not gate crash. Hear me, wherever God wants to take you, nobody can stop you. I can not let go, I have gone too far from where I started from. Nobody told me that the road will be easy but I don’t believe he will take me this far to dump me. God can not dump me this far. Ladies, please, know how to strategize, you cannot bloom and blossom if you are too careless with everything. Let me be honest with you, every challenge we are facing in the world today has to do with coming from a dysfunctional home.
Dysfunctional home is a Fuji house of commotion, we have two parties there, PDP 1, PDP 2 in the same house. And when you are in a dysfunctional home, 3 things happen, you don’t talk, keep family secrets, you don’t feel. It is only when I travelled out that I heard children say, mummy, you are hurting my feelings. Who did they born well to do that during our growing up years? Don’t talk, keep quiet, don’t trust, let’s protect ourselves, let’s keep it a secret are things that come from dysfunctional homes.
Listen to me, you can send your children to Harvard and they come out with the best results and they will be outstanding but they will be chain smokers. Because the bible says when an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he walks around and comes back, there is something that has to be in place. Do you know that I didn’t even know what to do at a point because many of us, we don’t know what to do when we are pressed? When we are pressed, it is what is inside of you that will come out. When life presses you, the crisis is a mirror, if it presses you, it introduces you to you.
I did not know I was suicidal until I entered my second phase of the storm, living my house naked without clothes. But I told myself, whatever might have happened to me, whatever I must have gone through, I am picking back the pieces and I am coming out stronger. I am more than a conqueror. If you are not informed, you will be deformed. It takes understanding to stand and be outstanding. I was telling my sons, I told my boys, that if I die, don’t go and look for anything anywhere, go to my library you will survive any storm. Excuse me, somebody,
you better stop living your life in Africa Magic and other films, when challenges come, because your spirit man is like a library, it is what you store there that comes back to life.
Some of us were too shallow. I did not know I was as shallow as that because listen when I was growing up like I was telling you, my mother divorced when I was 6 months so the allegation was adultery so I am a bastard, I said that before right? Because I was looking for my Dad because every child’s father is her hero, by the grace of God, one of my books is 5 types of wrong fathers. We have Shadow, Missing in action, boundary buster dad, Traditional Dad and a Critical Dad. So I was looking for my Dad, a father figure but you know what? I love the way he fathered me, forgave my past, gave me a new life, turned me to a brand new being, now I can sing a brand new song, amazing grace because He is my God and my Father. So as I was saying, my mother told my sister, if you show her, her Dad, I did not even know, he was not my Dad. So, at a point I wanted to commit suicide, that is where I am going, I prepared cement, I wanted to drink it and my sister saw me and said Funke, what is the problem? I said I need my Dad because every woman wants her Dad, when I gave my life to Christ, the first thing I was able to understand is the fatherhood of God, He loves me unconditionally, are you getting me?
Listen to me, my sister said let me introduce you to your Dad, so she took me there. When I got there, lo and behold, the way I was looked at, for 2 and half years, my mum did not talk to my sister, so I knew that the issue of suicide was sitting somewhere. Hear me, whatever is in your life, if you don’t deal with it, it will deal with you, it is only a matter of time. Like I told you, the crisis is a mirror and before I knew it, my storm came. I discovered that that suicide thing was sitting somewhere, so I wanted to kill myself and finally, I told myself , NO, and I looked at the life of Tamar in the bible, and Tamar told herself whatever that will cost her to bloom, blossom and standout, she will pay the price. The holy spirit said to me through the life of this woman, the reason why I am in this house is for me to live the genealogy of Jesus. There are missions on the inside of me, there is something in me that must not die. Whatever that will cost divinity to make you blossom, pay the price. We are all living scripts. May you live your script well.
There is something written by you, and you must take it by force. I have been wasted resources but calvary paid a price for me, the bible says he has given me all things that pertain to life. Not ordinary life, godliness, so If you fail in this journey of your life, it is your fault. You have no reason to fail. Jesus paid the price. Please whatever you don’t understand, shut up. I am a gossiper, I gossip the gospel. I stopped gossiping when I newly got married. My husband met me in the ministry, I am not the owner of the church. To learn by experience is bitter, to learn by information is better. I learnt not to gossip, I even wrote a book on it because when we gossip together, someone brings it to the table.
I am a professor when it comes to dealing with emotional baggage. When you are addicted to something, it is difficult to leave it. Don’t live your life around your husband and children, they are sojourners in your home. I will not die anybody’s death. I have made up my mind to live my life beautifully well, standing out. Until you get to a place of reconciliation and restoration and dealing with our baggage, we won’t have revival. If you are from a dysfunctional home, you are naturally dysfunctional. Any home that there is always a conflict, the children grow in it.
Rejection can meet you in the palace or in the pit. But you know what I did when I gave my life to Christ? I sat down for 2 years. I sat down to deal with the spirit of rejection and I discovered, rejection can only affect your feelings and not your future. Rejection is not a war, it is a door that leads to another door. You, my future, wait for me, I am coming out in style.
So as I was saying, I was dancing to a lot of music, I was an enabler, I will fix everybody but I am not fixed and now, I am living a life. What about trauma? You became an addict because your husband left you? You became an addict because someone died and you did not process it, it will affect you for life.
Anything you cover will decay, whatever you are covering will come out. You better deal with it now, before it deals with you. I told you I was a chain smoker, let me tell unbelievers that are here because I am going to make an altar call, it will not be fair on me that I will leave people here without the knowledge of Jesus Christ. You know I told you my mum said I was good for nothing, everybody around me told me I was good for nothing, I was a nonentity, an idiot and a bastard, My mother would say she wished she had washed me away when I was in her embryo. I can’t blame her because she expected so much from me. She loved me because she looked up to me as somebody who would make her proud. But it was the other way round. I was abused and molested. It was a rough start for me in life.
My mum told me that if I don’t change, she has disowned me. So I wanted to change and I went to a native Doctor in Oyo town. I was tired of my life, and the native Doctor said, somebody is behind my problems, That the only condition was for him to sleep with me and I consented to a man that is older than my father because I wanted a change of life. I had a rough background. I came from a broken home. I didn’t know my father. Everybody had condemned me and said that I was good for nothing. Unfortunately for me, I did not change because pain does not change any man. But the beautiful thing is that shame or any situation in life for that matter is redeemable. I just discovered that I was tired and was fed up. I was about 21 at that time. I had attempted suicide several times because of my background. I had done a lot to try to take my life. But when I couldn’t I visited a native doctor to help me to change. But nothing happened.
There is a part of God in every man that is the conscience. I found myself struggling with life and struggling with everything. But I desired a change strongly. But God did the miraculous. I have since found out that in every mess there is a message. No matter what the devil thinks he has done to a man or woman God can turn it around for His own good. When I got tired of life I found my way to an evangelical church.
When heavens came down, Glory filled my soul, I became a child of the living God, when they told me I was going to give my life to Christ, they did not tell me I was going to hell. I knew I was going to hell, but they told me, he loves me and I began to cry. Then the love of Jesus had covered my skin, deeper than my emotion, stronger than my colour. I will smoke and drink. I was medicating my drugs with alcohol. I aborted, the doctors said I will not be pregnant, today my firstborn, in a service where we are over 2000, revived up to 7 bodies, sanctified them and brought them back to life. In the ministry of my firstborn. The womb that they said can never be pregnant, I gave birth to that boy, go online and check J F Adetuberu, I gave birth to him. When my son realized he came from a dysfunctional home, he came to me, he said he can not preach the gospel, I told him He is your God. I travailed over him and told God I will pay the price, and pain the price, that this boy must come back to God. Today when I see him, I am a proud mother. Who told you that Calvary is not real? Who told you that when you are saved, God can not rewrite your history? He can change your story. He did mine 34 years ago and now I am a brand new woman. He took my shame away so He can change your story too.
–TAYO FAJORIN OYEDIJI
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