Tribute to my mum
My mom has always been the closest person in my life. I’m grateful to God for letting me have such a wonderful woman as my mother.
The first thing I think of every time I remember my mother is “beautiful” and she was, she really was; inside and out.
She was a calm person, she hardly made new friends.
Practically all her friends are from secondary school or university. She was also very funny and lively. She made jokes even without knowing she was making jokes. She was always very supportive. I remember when I got my jamb result. It wasn’t bad but I knew my dad wasn’t going to be impressed but when my mom saw it, I was so surprised about how happy she was about it. She just kept saying I did really well even though I knew I could have done a lot better …. but it felt good to have her support me like that. During my SIWES program at home, the best part of my day was going home to see my mom and sometimes, before going to bed, we would just talk and laugh and bond. I will forever cherish those moments. My mother taught me to treat people with kindness and love. It was not a difficult thing to do since I learnt from someone full of joy and positivity. Her energy would always fill the room. During my 21st birthday celebration, it was a happy process having my mother to plan it with. She made me excited about celebrating my 21st birthday. Getting my hair done, getting my dress, getting my cake, all with a smile on her face. Even the energy she brought in just taking pictures felt wonderful, it was such a happy day.
I remember that night she was dancing and she looked at me and said “at least I know what you’d look like when you get married” and while I didn’t take it seriously then, I’m happy I celebrated my birthday seeing that she’s gone now.
On my 20th birthday which took place during the lockdown, she woke up early and with the help of my brothers made delicious jollof rice and chicken to celebrate my birthday since we couldn’t go out. She made sure I didn’t stress myself that day and I knew that was her showing her love for me.
I remember her being worried about me going to boarding school. When she dropped me off, she kept asking if I would be fine. She never missed any of the school’s visiting days and even other events I had in school. My birthday in year 7 was my first birthday away from her since I was in boarding school but she sent cards and goodies to make me know she was thinking of me. I remember I cried when I received them because I was truly touched by the simple gesture. My mother was very intentional about building a trusting and comfortable relationship between me and my brothers. She would openly tell us that she loved us and always prayed for us more than she did for herself. She sacrificed a lot of her time and energy for my brothers and I in order to raise us to be the best versions of ourselves and I’ll be forever thankful for that. Being around her always felt warm and loving, we hardly ever fought. She danced to the song “duduke” almost every night, she loved the song. She was such a happy soul; even when she was battling with cancer, she tried her best to stay positive and enjoy the moments she had with us which showed her strength.
She was also a lover of God and always encouraged us to be close to God. I wish I told her I loved her more, I wish I told her I missed her every time I did, I wish I had more time with her especially now that I’m going into adulthood, I wish she would have been by my side to create more memories and to celebrate more wins to come but I know she’s resting peacefully now in heaven and I will always remember her as the best mother ever. Even though I had to say goodbye to her this early, she will forever be in my heart.
A Tribute to My Mother
My mother, Mrs Fatima Bamigbetan was a beautiful, kind, loving, playful and generous soul.
My mother was many things: a mother, landlady, business owner, avid watcher of soaps and many more.
But she was a mother first.
She gave us true, pure, unconditional love. She would always tell us of her love for us and her continuous prayers for our lives. She was a devoted Christian. That always made me feel safe. I loved how much she cared for us. On many occasions, I saw it. Like after my graduation from secondary school when I started an internship at a business in Lekki, when I’d have to come home by myself as arranged by my father.
When she heard this,. she grew worrisome and kept asking if he was sure and if he could just bring me home. Thank God, everything went as planned, but it was lovely to see how much she cared for me despite how stubborn I was. It confirmed the saying, “There’s no love like a mother’s love” for me beyond all doubt.
Out of her many fabulous attributes, my favourite was her strength.
My mother was a strong woman. I do not mean physical strength, although she had that, how she could pound yam and stir amala with so much ease while me as a “big boy” would be doing my mediocre best was truly puzzling; it truly had me doubting my own strength. Eventually, I just concluded it was a thing of technique to make myself feel better. My mother was just as strong mentally if not stronger.
One thing I am most proud of her for is diligently keeping on with her multiple chemotherapy treatments. I knew how painful and tasking they were. Although she sometimes showed she was in pain, she never spoke of giving up on it. And I will respect her eternally for that.
Another, more relatable, example of her mental strength was her healthy living, If you can remember how she looked like 10 years ago before she started going to the gym and eating more healthy and saw the difference after, I’m sure you’d be impressed. She made the decision to change her life and did it religiously. When I tried I lasted about 2 weeks before calling it quits. This made me even more impressed with her dedication.
My mother was also a cheerful and playful soul. She was always making jokes with her friends and with us the children. I remember during the time I was in primary school, and I’d annoy her being the stubborn child that I was then. She’d proceed to chase me. I’d often get caught though, not by her hand but by her slipper. A recurring thing was that I’d be trying to sneak around the house like a spy and most times I’d get caught. It was as if she had a sixth sense for me, either that or she was just assuming that if anyone’s making mischief it’s Olumide. That wouldn’t have been wrong either. She also teased me on various counts like whenever a goat or chicken was getting killed.
She’d tease me saying “You’re disgusted now but you’ll still be the one to eat it well” which was always true.
She was also a fantastic cook.
Through my years in boarding school, whenever my parents were coming to visit I’d always be looking forward to her basmati rice and chicken. Or during her healthy living time when she used to make special food for herself, I’d go into full begging mode to get a taste, that’s how much I loved her cooking. In fact, one of my very few regrets is that I never learnt to cook from her.
The other two are that I didn’t know enough about her life and that I should’ve called more from school.
But I know she knew that I loved her, I also know she never wanted to be alone and I’m glad she was never alone even at her passing.
Rest In Peace mom, now and forever.
Thank you for all the fun times, Thank you for always making me feel comfortable with you.
I love you and I’ll miss you.
I And My Mum
My name is Bamigbetan Bamikole. I am the last born of my mum, the late Fatima Bamigbetan. I had a close relationship with my mum, I feel that way because I am the last born and it’s mostly the last borns that have the closest relationship with their mothers. I first got to know my mum when I was around three years old. Yes, I think that was when I realized that I had her as my mother. I can’t remember much of my baby years but I know she really took great care of me, both my health and well-being. When I realized her efforts I was actually surprised that someone has actually done this much for me. I felt blessed, honoured that I was given a mother like this when I was brought into this world.
I remember when I started going to school. Throughout my nursery, years, my mum would always take me to school and I would always cry as she left so she would find a way to cheer me up before she left so I would always be cheerful when I got to class. When I got home she would always check to make sure I did every homework I had. At that point, I felt it was just frustrating but now I truly realize her efforts. She has raised me to be a child she can be proud of and I am also proud of her efforts. She coached me into a proper person, taught me greatly required values and skills and also a mentality that I can go through anything and still come out unscathed.
My mum displayed a little tough love to me at times. When I would come to her complaining about something, she would always look as if she was turning a blind eye but actually be paying attention to it. There are also times when she would warn me not to do rough play or get injured cause she would not do anything about it but she would be the first to come to my aid after I got injured. She showed her love for me in a lot of different ways and at the end of the day, I feel it deeply.
Whenever I told my mum about problems I had, she would always sit me down and tell me stories relating to them and how she got through them.
Sometimes, they worked for me and other times they fell through but I still appreciated the stories and liked to listen to them. She was very cheerful and friendly and she always made friends wherever she went. I always felt like she was a superpower because I’m not very social but she always encouraged me to keep my friends close even after I left primary and secondary school. She had different Whatsapp groups of her primary, secondary and university set mates and she opened them from time to time. She always said and I quote, ‘You don’t know who is going to become who’. I lost communication with my primary school friends but I still communicate with my friends from secondary and it’s all thanks to her advice.
My mum was very disciplined, she always knew the proper honorific for everyone she met and taught
me the same.
Fatimah’s passing as the will of Almighty God who giveth and taketh.
Please take solace in the good memories of the time you shared together and the fact that your wife lived a good life and left behind worthy children.
From all that has been said and written about her, I learnt she was a very hardworking and deeply religious woman. She always sought to improve and strengthen herself in order to make herself a better person.
As my friend, brother and associate, please know that my thoughts are with you at these difficult moments and I would always be ready to offer a helping hand should you require it.
I pray that God Almighty comfort you, the children and all those your wife left behind. May He also grant her humble soul eternal rest.
Rest assured of my highest regards always.
– Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu,
December 08, 2021