HELLO DOCTOR LOVE, please, I need your help. I am 26 years old. I am already engaged to a guy I have been dating for three years. We hope to be married before the end of the year. I love my fiancé greatly. He’s a sweet guy. My only concern is that I have noticed he rarely makes love to me without playing a pornographic movie on the television in his bedroom. Personally, I don’t like pornographic movies because of the way people get addicted to them. I stopped watching them several years ago. But my guy cannot do without watching them and he’s 29 years old. I have asked him why he must have a porn movie playing before he makes love to me, he said it’s the only he gets turned on. This is starting to really hurt me because, in a way, I feel that, in his head, he is actually making love to those beautiful naked women in the movies and not me. My other worry is, for how long will he continue this way, for as long as we are married? Should I be worried? What if the movies no longer turn him on, what happens to me then? I am really confused…..Helen, Lagos.
DEAR HELEN, you should be worried. I do not know how else to put this subtly, but your fiancé is terribly addicted to porn. And if it’s gotten to a point now where he needs to watch porn before he needs to get himself fired up, then he might require medical help at some point or the other. He is still young at 29. He shouldn’t be depending on anything, whether its stimulants or Aphrodisiacs, before getting an erection at his age. And it’s like watching porn is his own Aphrodisiac. You need to find a way to bring up the subject with him and advice him to go see medical experts. They will examine him, run tests, start a treatment, placing him on certain drugs and multivitamins that will boost his libido greatly and enhance his erectile condition. It’s a good thing you are showing concern about this now, the earlier he seeks medical help, the better for both of you. Good luck, dear.
GOOD day, Mr. Wale, I don’t want to disclose my name in this text because of some personal reasons. I have been in a relationship with a guy for over four years now and he never gives me the right to come to his place without prior notice of the day and time. The scary part of it is that he’s a liar, a cheat and he’s never been truthful to me, which I know myself. There was a day I saw in his phone a lady’s number he saved as ‘Baby Joy” whereas my name is saved in Lisa name as just my name. Mr. Wale, I love him but I have lost my faith in him. Tell me, what do I do?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Are you still asking me to tell you what you should do? For God’s sake, you girls just never cease to amaze me. A guy treats you like some junk the cat dragged in, tramples all over your dignity as a woman and you still say you don’t know what do? If you were my kid sister, I would not hesitate to spank you for this. How could you be so naive? You say a guy is a liar and a cheat and you could never go to his uninvited, yet it didn’t occur to you to drop him like bad habit?? I also ask this question, what is it with girls and bad boys? Why are you always stuck in love with the boys that bring you nothing but bad news? Its pretty obvious this guy doesn’t give a hoot about you, neither does he care about your feelings, so why would you claim you love him? You want my candid advice? Delete him from your memory, he doesn’t deserve the smallest space in it!
DOCTOR LOVE, please, reply me urgently. I have been dating my man for three years now but his ex-girlfriend still wants him back. Although he says nothing will make him go back to her, I am not comfortable with the way they have been communicating on the phone, its getting too much for my comfort! Wale, I’m not happy, please, what should I do? My name is Peace from Port-Harcourt…..07031977…..
Dear Peace, I can understand your fears. This is an issue that, oftentimes, rears its head between couples. I can only ask you to calm down and take things easy. If your man says he does not want to take his ex back, then you must believe him. You could also let him know your fears with his ex’s renewed interest in you. But do not push it too much, else he’ll begin to see you as a nag. Three years is enough time for you to know the kind of man you’re dating. If you know him well enough, you should be able to tell if he’s being sincere with you when he said there’s nothing going on between them. My advice is until he proves otherwise, take your mind off the issue and concentrate on making your relationship with him even stronger.
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