Doctor Love, my Rachel, I am 20 years old. I have a serious problem, one that I don’t know how to get myself out of. I have been living with my sister and her husband for the past eight years or so. When I turned sixteen, my sister’s husband who has been taking good care of me in the house came into my room one night when my sister was at a night vigil and raped me. I was still a virgin at the time. After he was done, he pleaded with me to forgive him that he did it out of love for me, that he has always loved me from the day he set his eyes on me. He begged me not to tell my sister but warned me that if I did, and I succeed in scattering their marriage, that is the end of my education. He was the one taking care of my education. And from that night, it became a regular thing. Once my sister leaves the house, he comes after me. A lot of times, I would beg my sister I want to follow her to wherever she was going just so that I won’t be left in the house alone with her husband. But she didn’t know what the problem was, so sometimes she will let me follow her, sometimes she won’t. Now, I am in the university, he still sleeps with me but I want to end it all but I don’t know how. I don’t want to hurt my sister or be responsible for her marriage crash. What do I do, sir?
OH, GOD! RACHEL, why have you not spoken to your sister about this long ago? You say you don’t want to hurt your sister or ruin her marriage, but continuing to remain silent will also ruin your own life. First thing first, you have to leave that house. You have to go to your parents, uncle or whoever and tell them you can no longer stay with your sister, that you’re no longer comfortable with her husband. Or, you call your sister and tell her what’s been happening. If you do not tell her and she finds out herself, there is no way you would be able to convince her that you were not sleeping with her husband willingly. And if that happens, she will never forgive you for as long as you both live. One way or the other, she has got to know about this. As regards your education, don’t you worry, I’m sure members of your family should be able to do something for you. It is better for you to do this than to let that man make you look like you’re the one who came chasing after him with your body.
Hello, Dr. Love, my name’s Mary. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by testing it with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…
Dear Mary, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man and enjoy him, then it’s as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.
Hello Uncle Wale, I need your help. I am a seventeen-year-old girl, a year one student in one of the universities. People say I’m pretty and I also think I am. My problem is that I have too many boyfriends and this is because I don’t know how to say ‘no’ to guys when they come toasting me. But at the end of the day when they get tired of making love to me, they walk away and another set of guys will come toasting. I don’t know what to do Uncle Wale, please help me. Please, don’t reveal my number, Suzanne, Abuja.
For Christ’s sake, Suzanne, what is wrong with you? You have described yourself as pretty and a first year student of the university, what then is the reason why you’re doing this to yourself? Girls who go the path you’re walking now, often than not, end up battling with severe inferiority complex. When a woman has a terribly low esteem of herself, she grows timid and lacks the courage to look a man straight in the eye and tell him, ‘sorry, I’m not interested.’ You’ve got to wake up, snap out of this illusion you’re in and stop these ‘vultures’ you call boyfriends from draining you of all the sweetness and goodness that’s been deposited in you by mother nature. If at the age of seventeen you have lost count of the number of men you’ve been in bed with, what happens by the time you’re through with university? You would’ve emaciated greatly as a result of being ‘over sexed’ if you will permit my grammar! Please, Suzanne, stop doing this to yourself, these guys will only vandalize your body, suck you dry and dump you like a piece of trash. Do not allow yourself become a trash can of semen for irresponsible men. Don’t be cheap, add value to your body and tell yourself that no man that’s not worth his salt will ever get the privilege to date you ever again. Wish you the best.
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