•And Make Him Yours Forever
•By Marriage Coach, Pastor BISI
There are many ways to support your husband’s career. I will mention some of them here:
(1) Seek To Understand His Job: To support your husband in his career, you have to understand what his job is all about. You can’t support a dream if you don’t understand what it is. And it may be wildly different from what you imagined.
(2) Tell Him You Believe In Him: Don’t wait for the success of your husband before you begin to believe in him, start now, show it and say it. You may be the only one who believes in him and you are enough for now. If thousands of people believe in him it does not count like yours. You need to believe in him. My wife believed in me when nobody did. Today, the story has changed, she has been vindicated.
(3) Pray For His Career: Be a pillar of prayer behind your husband’s career. Pray, let him know you are praying for him. Let him hear when you are praying, it is reassuring, it helps his courage.
(4) Ask Him What His Vision Is: To support your husband in his career, you have to understand what his goals and vision are. What does he want to achieve? Where does he see himself in the next five to ten years? You need to know his long-term goals before you can be of help to him.
Most husbands, when pressed, will reveal three underlying goals for their career: to provide for their family financially, to find fulfillment or a sense of purpose, and to make their wives happy.
(5) Tell Him How You Feel: Since making you happy is one of his priorities, it’s important to express your desires and concerns. Don’t think that being supportive just means going along with whatever he is doing!
What I mean is, your husband may be working sun up to sun down, or longer, to achieve more and bring home more money so that you will never want for anything. There’s just one problem. You don’t want a fancy and expensive life, you just want your husband home sometimes.
In this case, supporting his goal (making you happy) means expressing a different point of view (what makes you happy). But it’s important to tell him respectfully, kindly, and with love. I’ve heard from many women who said: “I have told him how I feel but he never listens!” The thing is, there’s a difference in expressing your anger and communicating your needs.
“You’re always working! I wish you’d be home once in a while.” This is not a respectful way to express that. “You work so hard, and I appreciate that, but I want you here more. I miss you.” This communicates the same goal with a much more loving tone.
(6) Ask Him What His Challenges Are: Seek to know what his challenges are on the job. Be attentive when he talks, show genuine concern and give your support and prayers. Also, celebrate victory over every challenge with him with good meals, good sex, and wine or anyhow you want to make it special.
(7) Ask Him How You Can Be Of Help: Ask him what you can do to help Him. Be willing and ready to help him out, he will not forget.
(8) Be Impressed: Most boys want to impress their mothers. When they are married, they want to impress their wives. Let him know that you are impressed, show you are taken, show he is your hero, show him he is your champion, say it and show it. Brag about him before your children and friends. He will seek to do more.
(9) Encourage Him: Encourage him when he is afraid of stepping out, and motivate him to do more.
(10) Ease His Fears Practically: Your husband may have fears related to his career. He may fear moving ahead, applying for a promotion, or changing careers. He may fear cutting back on his efforts, thinking it might lead to a lesser income and you would be unhappy. He might be afraid of taking on more responsibility at work, or a longer commute, because he thinks he needs to be home to help you.
There’s nothing wrong with any of those fears. Try not to think they are foolish or unwarranted. Instead, show him in real ways that he needn’t worry.
If he’s afraid of failure, show him how much you love and admire him for who he is, not for what his job is.
If he is afraid you won’t be happy with less, show him by cutting back on your spending! And do it with a smile. You don’t even have to tell him why you’re spending less; just prove that you are satisfied with less. If he thinks you need his help around the house and you don’t, then prove it without a word by having things taken care of before he needs to help.
These are perhaps some of the hardest ways to support your husband, but if you think something is holding him back, and you can remove that obstacle, do it!
(11) If He Succeeds Celebrate Him: If your husband succeeds, celebrate his success lavishly, blow it up. Thank God for it with the children, during the family altar, in personal prayers, let him know you feel the way he feels about the success.
(12) Be Ready To Make Sacrifices: Be ready to make sacrifices for his business and career. It may affect your time with him, your own pleasure, your career, family money, vacation etc.
(13) If He Fails, Stand By Him: If he fails, stand by him, respect him the more, tell him you still believe in him, tell him failure is not final, don’t discourage him from trying again.
(14) Support Financially If Need Be: If he needs money to continue or to start, do support financially. Don’t hesitate to do this and put yourself in a special place in his heart.
(15) Make The Home-Front Conducive For Him: Let the home be conducive, let him have the desired rest, peace and focus at home. Do not trouble, don’t nag and don’t be negative.
(16) Satisfy Him Sexually: Satisfy him sexually. Men that are satisfied sexually at home do have the boldness to face the world. He will not be distracted by other women and his focus will be on you and his career.
Bisi Adewale is a family and relationship expert; author of Secret of Irresistible Wife and more than 100 other books on marriage and family life. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter @bisiadewale or reach him on askbisiadewale@gmail.com , 08068312004, and blogs daily on www.bisiadewale.com
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