Home Celebrity LifestyleHow To Make Your Marriage Last 50 Years

How To Make Your Marriage Last 50 Years

by Jamiu Abubakar
  • LAGOS Celebrity Lady, MODUPE OGUNLESI Explains

On Wednesday 7th January 2026, popular Lagos couple, Modupe & Lanre Ogunlesi celebrated their  50th Wedding Anniversary with a Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Catholic Church, Musa Yar’Adua Street, Victoria Island, Lagos.

Reception followed after.

Modupe Olubukola Ogunlesi is an entrepreneur, owner and Managing Director of Adam & Eve, the luxury homeware store.

She attended St. Anne’s School, Ibadan from 1964 to 1968, and graduated with BSc Accounting from the University of Lagos in 1975. She then proceeded to the United Kingdom for further studies, qualifying as a Member of the Institute of Certified Accountants in 1980. She is now a Fellow of the Institute of Certified Accountants (ACCA UK) and Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN). On her return to Nigeria she joined Peat Marwick, Ani, Ogunde & Co where she worked as a qualified trainee.

Modupe understanding the dearth of finance available to Small-Medium companies decided to strike out on her own with John Knight Finance & Investment Limited. This gave her a broad view of running a business successfully and in 1996 she put this to use when she set up Adam & Eve. As CEO she has grown the company from the small retail outlet it was to become a household name in lifestyle luxury.

A dedicated member of her church, she is currently the Ikeja Deanery Coordinator of The Catholic Women Organisation (CWO) in Lagos Archdiocese after serving two terms as the President of Catholic Women Organization (CWO) of her parish branch. She has received various awards for her dedication to her profession, industry and humanity.

She has been happily married for the past 50 years to Lanre Ogunlesi the great man behind the Sofisticat label.

Below are excerpts of her interview. She spoke to City People Publisher SEYE KEHINDE at her GRA Ikeja office in Lagos.

 

As Modupe and Lanre Ogunlesi celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary a few days back, the big question many kept asking is what does it take for a marriage to clock 50? Modupe Ogunlesi responded. “It is important, as soon as you decide to marry, that it is us, no longer you or I. And also, it is important that you don’t bring third parties into the marriage. Both of you have to be happy. Why marriages are breaking now is that the mindset of a man has been achieved to the way his mother struggled or kept quiet.”

“They are used to homes where the man is dominant. But those were the days when the women had no economic power. Nowadays, I don’t need you because of the money.”

“And it’s important that both of you are aware that it is not your money. And therefore, what are you offering that is not money? So what are you offering the other person that is not money? And I think the men forget this and the women also forget this. You must be giving something else and each individual, you know what is important to you.”

“For me, when I was getting married, my first thought was that, look, you went to school, I went to school. I could have been a man who would be asked to be the provider. So money is not the issue, I can look after myself.

But I want somebody to make life worth living, that will make life full, you know, it’s one life to live. So I keep on saying, I’m not a piece at all price person, and I don’t need to go, no, money is sure for the right things. But if I’m not happy, I will not stay.”

“And I’ve been extremely lucky because that is what God’s grace does. I’m married to a man who makes me happy, you know, and it’s in the little things and in the big things. So when we got married, you know, when you’re in university, you go out at night, but that’s okay, you know, it’s just a dream.”

“Because in our house, at 7 o’clock, you have to be in bed. You take your novel, you put on your bedside lamp, and that is it, until you fall asleep. My mother will now come up at night after marking school books for the children, you know, her students, she’ll now go around and put off her bedside lamps.”

“So I just head to bed. So night time for me is a time to sleep. Then we got married.”

“We go to bed together. By the time we wake up at about 1 a.m., go and have a bath, get ready, and I say, what are you doing? Yes, I’m going to the club. Where are you? And yes, you can see the excitement in me.”

“Really? This is your idea of enjoyment? Good night to me in the morning. And I go and sleep. Because really, if I go out with him once, for the next two days, I’m disoriented.”

“But the thing is, if that’s what your idea of fun is, please enjoy yourself. Because my idea of fun too, don’t stop me. And I said, the first lesson that you learn is that whatever makes your spouse happy, just let them enjoy it.

“You must learn to accommodate it. Even if you don’t like it, you must learn to accommodate it. And in the same way, the other person must love the whole of you.”

“Whatever makes you up. Don’t say, are you putting on weight? Are you not putting on weight? It is a healthy you. That’s different.

But is this how you want to dress? No, no, no. You can’t be judgemental. Because you saw the whole person before you married the person.

So what’s your grouse? Then the other thing. When I was going to have my second child, my sister said, no, no, no, you can’t have that baby in Luth. They are so brutal.”

“They are so money conscious. She was a doctor. So she said, come and have the baby in Ibadan.”

“Six weeks before the baby is due, we are in Ibadan. I said, no. I can’t sleep without a back rub from my husband.”

We live in Lagos. He works in Lagos. What happens? Nobody will rub my back before I fall asleep.

And my husband said, go. Go. I will do my best.”

“And to my surprise, can you believe it? Friday night, he will come to Ibadan. He will stay till Monday morning and come back to Lagos. Straight from Ibadan to work.

“Tuesday night, weeks after work, he is coming to Ibadan to leave on Wednesday morning and go to work. Then on Friday night, he will come again. It’s a Monday morning.”

“He will come on Thursday night, leave on Friday morning, go and come again that same Friday to spend the weekend. And at the time, I took it for granted. So he made sure that I wasn’t losing out on the back rubs.”

“But it’s looking back that I felt that you know something, for about three months, you did not go any clubbing or night parties. And these are the things, these sacrifices are what builds the foundation of a marriage. When you look back and feel that, ah, he made that sacrifice for me, it’s easy to feel.”

“When you get married, you must have a one-to-one relationship with every member of a man’s family. I’m a woman, so I’m talking more from the point of view of a woman. You must have a one-to-one relationship with every member of that family.

They are not a group. Each one has a name.”

“They must know the real you. So that the stranger that they have brought into the family is no longer a stranger. If you do anything to me and I don’t like it, I will say, Sheye, look at my face.”

“I didn’t like what you did. And I will tell you why I didn’t like it. And I will not go back home and tell my husband anything about it.”

“Because when you tell him, you have not complained to the person who has upset you. You go home, you tell your husband, what are you saying? You are forcing him to take sides.

“So when you are alienating him from his family, do you have other siblings to give him?.

“And then you have  no other parents to give you. It doesn’t matter who. Even my mother-in-law knew me.”

“I would tell her, Mama, look at my face. She learned, you know, and we learned to care for each other. So with every member of the family, you must have a relationship.”

“So even if they are talking about, you can say, ah, yes, or ah, Dupe, she will do that. Ah, Dupe, she will not do that. They have to be prepared for you.

Then apologise when you hurt your spouse. Then I didn’t mean it. Then I did it deliberately.”

And it doesn’t matter. The hurt is the hurt. Apologise and mean it.

I am very good at apologising. Then he will do it again. But at that point, she will genuinely apologise.

Once he knows that, it will really upset you. Or you can do it again. You learn to apologise again.

No problem. In 50 years, he has had a lot of practise at apologising. Then the very important part of marriage.

When you sign, they say to have and to hold. Why didn’t they just say to have? Actually, if you have it, you have it. To have and to hold.”

“This shows, how do you hold anything? It’s a physical thing. So that is to show you that the physical side of marriage is very important. You must touch.

You must kiss. You must hug. The intimacy is the glue that cements a marriage.”

“That’s why you sign on the dotted lines. To have and to hold. The most men hate to talk.

The woman likes to throw out all her emotions. And split it up. The woman, you must not talk in anger.”

“And you must learn to sit back and analyse why you are hurt. Then when you do not have an emotional outburst, you can say, sit down, let us talk. Then in a rational way, you can explain what you did not like so that it will not repeat itself.

Demand to learn to listen. So that when you are being educated, don’t say, there is no big deal in it. It’s a big deal.

It’s not a big deal. What is not a big deal to a man is a big deal for a woman. So you better sit down and listen when you are being educated.

It is important. So that you understand each other. Because if you keep on hurting me, at one point or the other, resentment must build.

And those are the things that shake the marriage. Children are not a replacement for your spouse. The children will grow and they will grow their own way.

And it is for both of you to live together. So from the beginning, children or no children, you must learn to nurture the relationship. When we fall in love 15 years ago, it’s not the love that is sustaining us today.

You must, both of you, intentionally do things that will make him fall in love with you again. And that will make her fall in love with you again. You must be continuously falling in love with the same person.

“And that is what will sustain the marriage on the long run. You must keep on, you must intentionally. You have to be intentional about it. That you will fall in love with me again.”

“And the same thing, he must be intentional about you falling in love with him again. And I say this because I’ve always said it. Father Manigat, when you talk about Valentine, you can give me chocolates, you can take me out, but it is a period of revisiting your intimacy.”

“And I say, I don’t care who makes the food. Valentine’s Day, if both of you are working, it’s not a problem. Pick up that takeaway.”

“Get somebody to make the meal. But before you leave home in the morning, set a table for two. You know, get it all ready.”

 

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