I felt touched by his compassion and love for me. It was such a strange feeling to see that the man was genuinely worried about me. And to be honest, I wasn’t expecting him to leave work to come see me at the hospital. The pregnancy wasn’t his. It wasn’t his problem. He could have chosen not to help me and just turn away, like others have done. While others took advantage of me, he chose to stay by me even after he had forced himself on me without knowing I was pregnant. He gave me money for the abortion and still followed me to the hospital. And now, he left his office to come see how I was doing. How I wish he was not married to my Aunty, things would’ve been so, so different….
“Thank you very much….” I didn’t know when the words came out from my mouth. “You have been so very kind to me and I am so grateful, thank you,” I reached for his hand and held it, squeezing it gently.
He smiled. It was his flirty smile. I loved it when he smiled like that. It made him look younger, like a kid, and his handsomeness showed.
“You have never spoken to me like that before, with such softness in your heart…..and you have tears in your eyes too, my beautiful baby,” Uncle Fred teased me.
That was when I realized I was actually in tears. It was tears of joy. Tears of victory. Tears of all the humiliation, the violation, I suffered. Tears of betrayals suffered. Tears of a long, grueling and tortuous journey that has finally come to an end. Tears of, hopefully, a new beginning for me. The nightmare is over, I am finally free!
But there was still one little problem though. Or, two problems actually. The first is Aunty Florence, how am I supposed to deal with her issues when she finds out that I have aborted the pregnancy she so badly wanted me to keep? She will definitely get into a mad rage. But to be honest, I wasn’t scared anymore of her and what could happen to me. The worst case scenario is that she would send me back to the village. But at least I won’t be going back there with a big tummy. She wanted to use my condition to better her own condition. She was being unfair to me. She was being selfish, that’s why I no longer feel any guilt that I was sleeping with her husband.
And then, my mother. She will be terribly distraught. For purely religious reasons, she wanted me to keep the pregnancy. And then, I think that secretly, she too wanted to be a grandmother. But that would’ve been at my own expense and that’s where she got it all twisted. She didn’t think of me. She didn’t make my own concerns her priority. Like I felt about Aunty Florence, I wasn’t scared anymore of my mother as well. She would get over whatever pain my aborting the pregnancy would bring her. It’s all about me now. From now, I would start living my life for me, and not for anybody!
Uncle Fred helped me home. But he soon left work immedia6tely after.
“Hope you’re a lot better now?” he asked, a truly worried look on his face.
“Sure, I am. I think the pain has subsided now,” I answered, holding the bottom of my tummy as I responded.
“You’ll be fine, you’re a very strong girl,” he said to me before planting a kiss on my forehead and left.
I got up, took off my clothes and headed to the bathroom to clean up. I figured I would feel better after staying under the shower for a long spell. I was feeling weak from inside me and feeling hot on the outside.
And it did work. I felt much better. I needed to garner as much strength as I could because I still had cooking to do. I was almost done with the cooking much later when Aunty Florence arrived. She was home a little early. I immediately knew I had to pull myself together, she was a super sensitive lady and could sense something was wrong with me.
“How far with dinner, almost ready?” she asked shortly after she arrived.
“Yes, ma,” I nodded. And I returned quietly to my room. I was lying down on my bed when she came in minutes later without knocking. I sat up on the bed.
“Yes, ma?” I said as I sat up on the bed. “You need me?’
“No, not really. Just wanted to talk to you,” she said, joining me on the bed as she sat down beside me.
“You don’t seem happy with me after I spoke with you the last time,” she began. I was not expecting that line of conversation.
“No, Aunty, it’s nothing like that….”
“Listen, Rosemary, I know you’re not happy with me, I can tell from your mood lately,” she cut in before I was done talking.
“But, honestly, Aunty, I am not angry or anything, I totally understand where you’re coming from, “I tried to explain, but she was barely listening to me. I sensed there was something heavy on her mind that she wanted to let out and there was nothing I could say to discourage until she said what was on her mind.
She shook her head sIowly. “No, Rosie, darling, you can’t understand, you are too young to, and besides, you’re not the one that’s childless, “she began, looking deep into my eyes. “But I realized I was a little harsh with my words, I shouldn’t have spoken the way I did,” she spoke with a voice laden with emotion. “You may think I am being insensitive to your plight or that I’m trying to use you to selfishly solve my own problem, but you see, I do not pray that when you get married you experience what is called childlessness for even a year not to talk of several years like I have. That is why I am so desperate to have a child. Hope you understand my plight. So, please, I beg you in the name of God, don’t let anything happen to that baby you’re carrying, and I promise you that I will do for you anything that you ask of me, so long as it is within my power! Can you promise me that, Rosemary?”
