UNCLE WALE, my name is Precious, I am 22 years old. I am currently an undergraduate. I live with my sister and her husband. They have been married for over five years and they have 2 kids together. My sister takes care of my education and her husband supports her largely I guess. I started living with them about two years ago and everything was going well until recently when my sister’s husband began to make passes at me. He started by buying me things and telling me not to let my sister know. I didn’t think anything of it until when he started touching my bum or touching my boobs as though he was playing with me whenever my sister is not in the house. I told him he should stop it that I was not comfortable with the kind of way he was playing with me. That was when he told me I should stop acting like a little girl, that he likes me and wants to date me secretly. I thought he was mad or something, but he was dead serious. Now, he gives me no breathing space whenever my sister is not around. He begs me with huge sums of money to let him have sex with me but I have repeatedly told him no. I am scared that soon, he will rape me. What should I do Uncle Wale, should I tell my sister? Please, don’t publish my number.
DEAR PRECIOUS, to be honest with you, I am really feeling quite ashamed as a man reading your account. I am embarrassed on behalf of your sister’s shameless husband. Why should he suddenly develop amorous desires for you, his wife’s younger sister? If he must cheat on his wife, must it be with you, her blood sister? I must admit, sadly, that he is not the first irresponsible man that would be involved in this sort of shameful act, but still, it always comes across as preposterous and unthinkable whenever one hears of a case like this. I will suggest you find a way to convince your sister that you would like to go spend some time with one of your siblings, sisters, aunt or uncle whenever you are on vacation from school. Do not report him to your sister yet, try and stay away from the house for a while, while letting the man know that if he pressures you any more than he has done you will report him to the family. You can also discuss it with somebody you can confide in within the family, someone you trust can give you a valuable piece of advice and still keep his or her mouth shut. It’s a very delicate matter, I know you also want t to be careful not to be branded as the person that broke your sister’s marriage. But it’s important you discuss it with somebody because if the matter gets worse between both of you he could deny everything and even claim you’re the one making passes at him. So, try and get away from the family for a long while and let’s see what happens. Please, reach me to update me on developments. Best of luck.
HELLO WALE, my ex broke up with me recently. He said that he has been cheating on me and that it will be better to go separate ways. After three months, his friend asked me out and we started dating. I told my new boyfriend everything about my ex and I asked if it’s fine his friend, my ex, knows we are dating and he said no, it’s not right. He said his friend would think I’m a cheap girl to have dated his friend just after a few months of break up. Please, advise me on what to do.
To be honest with you, I don’t quite get what you’re asking of me. Is it that you’re asking if you should discontinue the relationship or if you should keep it away from your ex? It would’ve been better if you called so we could talk. That way, I would understand you better. But quite frankly, I have never and would never subscribe to ladies jumping straight into the arms of the friend of their ex-boyfriend to start another relationship not long after they got dumped! It very seldom works out. It’s either you’re doing so out of revenge to spite your ex-lover without realizing it, or you’ve been admiring him all the while and just couldn’t wait to get into bed with him and of course, this makes you nothing but cheap! For all you know, the guy is probably taking advantage of your broken heart just so he can get in between your legs and then tell friends, including your ex, that he’s been there too! And then, there’s the last part I want you to think about. If indeed your new boyfriend is serious about you, do you think you guys can ever take the relationship to the next level which is marriage? Or is that not what you would be hoping for when you go into a new relationship, except of course if you’re still pretty young to start thinking of marriage (you didn’t state your age). Do you think this guy could ever see you as a possible wife material knowing that his friend once dated you and had sexual intimacy with you? Do you think he will ever be comfortable with that? I doubt it. Your new boyfriend is right to say he thinks your ex might regard you as a cheap girl for dating him shortly after he dumped you. But what I do not know is whether he too has genuine feelings for you that’s worth risking your pride and dignity as a woman for.
HI DOCTOR, my name is Joyce and I am 22 years old. I have been in a relationship for a year and some months now and we started having sex in the seventh month of being together. But since then, he has changed. He doesn’t treat me the same way he used to and when I say no to sex, it becomes a big problem. Aside from that, he is a nice guy, he’s always ready to help. Always apologises when he does wrong and he has my best interest at heart. But am still confused if it’s love or lust.
JOYCE, it’s so sad that after taking your time before getting sexually intimate with your guy (seven whole months after you guys started dating) and yet he stopped treating you well like he used to the moment you let him eat from your treasured Apple. It just goes to show that’s what he was waiting for all the while. You say he’s still a nice guy and all that but clearly, something fundamental has gone wrong with the relationship. He has stopped loving you after eating from your honey pot a few times. You clearly do not hold any significance to him as far as he’s concerned. This probably explains why he is always furious whenever you refuse him sex. You asked if what he feels for you is love or lust, right? If you want my honest answer, then I’ll tell you it’s certainly not love. No man stops loving a woman he claims he loves after having sex with her seven long months into the relationship!