Dear Wale, I have a boyfriend whom I have dated for two years now. We visit each other once in a while. We have had sex only once and I have not allowed him touch me again. The highest money he’s ever given to me is N3,000. He is rich but he doesn’t take care of me, now he is talking about marriage, what do you think I should do? Please, help me, my name is Angel, and please conceal my number…
My dear Angel, this is a rather tricky situation you are in at the moment. The first thing that’s going through my mind after going through your mail is, is this guy for real? Somebody who hasn’t attempted to show you how special you are to him via material or monetary gifts once in a while despite that he’s rich like you said, what’s the guarantee that he is being sincere? Could this be a ploy for him to get in between your legs? Could this be his own way of getting you to let down your guard? Or could it be that he’s been testing your sincerity all this while, trying to be sure if you want him for his money or if your love is real? It is difficult to tell what’s going on in his mind right now. The only way to find out is for you not to get over-excited right now and jump right into his arms. You must take your time to study him some more. You must watch his every move. Ask him questions. Ask him why he treated you like didn’t mean much to him all this time and now he’s suddenly asking for your hand in marriage? Ask him to tell you what has changed about you or about him. You can call me so we can talk some more. I need to get some more background information about your relationship. But for now, do not get carried away, take your time to study him and every move he makes. If he keeps bringing up the issue of marriage, tell him to give you just a few weeks to think about it.
GOOD day, Mr. Wale, I don’t want to disclose my name in this text because of some personal reasons. I have been in a relationship with a guy for over four years now and he never gives me the right to come to his place without prior notice of the day and time. The seriousness of it is that he’s a liar, a cheat and he’s never truthful to me, which I know myself. There was a day I saw in his phone a lady’s number he saved as ‘Baby Joy” whereas my name is saved simply as Lisa and nothing more. Mr. Wale, I love him but I have lost my faith in him. Tell me, what do I do?
Tell you what you should do? For God’s sake, you girls just never cease to amaze me. A guy treats you like some junk the cat dragged in, tramples all over your dignity as a woman and you still say you don’t know what do? If you were my kid sister, I would not hesitate to spank you for this. How could you be so naive? You say a guy is a liar and a cheat and you could never go to his uninvited, yet it didn’t occur to you to drop him like bad habit?? I also ask this question, what is it with girls and bad boys? Why are you always stuck in love with the boys that bring you nothing but bad news? It’s pretty obvious this guy doesn’t give a hoot about you, neither does he care about your feelings, so why would you claim you love him? You want my candid advice? Delete him from your memory, he doesn’t deserve the smallest space in it!
Hello, Mr. Wale, my name is Christy. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for four years. He is a very nice person but the problem is that we seem not to understand ourselves. We argue a lot. He has been asking me to pay him a visit ever since I visited him last year but the long-distance between us is too much. I really wish to see him but my job is not giving me the chance and I don’t have the freedom to go anywhere I want. We used to talk all the time but all that changed. And anytime I try to talk to him about it, we always end up arguing. Please, tell me what to do, I love him. Please, don’t reveal my number.
Christy, you and your man need to ‘calm down, you hear me? I think that the strain in your long-distance relationship is starting to overwhelm both of you. Long-distance relationships do come with their own peculiar challenges and one of them is the pressure to be with each other after a while that you last set your eyes on each other. And once that meeting is not looking feasible in the shortest possible time, emotions begin to go up. Your guy wants to see you again. You can’t blame him for getting worked up. Now, the problem I have with your request is that you didn’t state your age and neither did you state your location and that of your guy. Having this information would’ve guided me better in offering you the appropriate advice. For instance, if you were of age, I would’ve suggested you speak to your guy about coming over to visit you and then you introduce him to your family as the guy you’re dating. Let them at least, know him. And if he’s at least sincere about his feelings for you, he shouldn’t run away from being introduced to your parents. That way, you could also tell them you wish to pay him a visit once you are able to take a few days off at your workplace. But I do not know how old or mature you really are and if it would be possible for your parents to let you travel out of your base to see a man they hardly know. Try to avoid arguing too much with your man, instead, speak with him gently and let him know you also badly want to see him again but that you both need to put heads together to work out something.