GOOD DAY, DOCTOR LOVE, please, I have a problem I am so ashamed to tell anyone. And please, I beg you, do not put my name or phone number in the magazine. My name is Angel and I am 24 years old. I’m a graduate but yet to find a meaningful job. My problem is that I fear I have probably become addicted to sex. I can’t do a week without having sex. I have multiple boyfriends, not many anyway but at least, I have four to five guys who constantly call and profess love to me. And of course, very regularly, I have sex with them at different times. I know it’s wrong but I can’t help it. Sometimes, just thinking about these guys get me wet. Anytime I’m worried or sad about something, it’s sex that serves as my therapy to overcome that situation. But, still, something tells me it’s not normal, am I a sex addict?
MY DEAR ANGEL, there is no other name for what you’re suffering from, it’s called sex addiction. And it’s a big problem if you do not treat it with the urgency it deserves. You need to seek expert counsel. The fact that you’re unemployed at the moment and so you have a lot of idle time on your hands is also a part of the problem. When you are unengaged for a long time, your mind will have time to wander and you begin to think of your boyfriends and sex. Getting gainfully employed is definitely one of the steps you might need to take to get rid of your addiction to sex.
DEAR DOCTOR, my name is Florence and I’m 17 years old. I have a boyfriend that’s 23 years old but all he’s after is sex which I don’t like because I’ve done it before. He’s always forcing me to do it. At first, I took him as a casual friend and then fell in love with him, but my fear now is that he’s always after sex. Please, help me and don’t publish my number, pleeeeeass.
Dear Florence, to start with, at seventeen, you should not be talking about boyfriends and sex. At your age, you should be fully focused on your studies. You should preoccupy yourself with how you should get into the university (that’s if you’re not an undergraduate yet). If you must have a boyfriend, choose one that will help you grow intellectually and with whom you can develop a relationship devoid of sex. The last thing you need now is a boyfriend whose only intention is to turn you into a sex toy, or worse still, he wants to get you pregnant and turn you into a young mother at age seventeen. You shouldn’t be looking for a friend who only needs you to satisfy his sexual cravings, you need friends who can make sensible and positive contributions to your life.
Hello Doctor Love, I need your advice quickly, please. I am in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend is based in Abuja while I’m in Lagos. We have been dating for three years now but we have only been together about six times in three years and we made love three out of those six times. We love each other. He sends me money and tries hard to take care of my needs, but the only problem is the distance. Now, out of loneliness, I started dating this guy just so he can give me good company and sex when I need one but the problem now is that I found myself falling in love with him. He says he loves me too but clearly not as my real man loves me. What do I do, Wale? My name is Tola.
TOLA, to be honest, I wish I could seek you out through some technological means and then spank you hard! You have somebody who loves you and has shown you clearly that he is serious about you, yet you’re still messing around? You obviously do not love this gentleman the way he loves you, otherwise, you would not be doing this behind his back. How do you think he would feel if he finds out that you’ve been having sex with another man while he’s in Abuja working hard to provide for both of you and possibly prepare for your future lives together as man and wife? Trust me, you won’t get a pat on the back from him. Not too many men will take it easy with you if they find out. Listen, you still have time to retrace your steps and get out of that meaningless affair that could jeopardize your relationship with your Abuja based lover. You may never know, if you lose that guy, you may spend the rest of your days regretting ever messing things up with your hunger for sex!