Hello, dear Doctor Love, my name is Agnes. I am twenty-one years old and I am in a relationship with a guy that’s ten years older than me. We have been dating for over a year now, but within that one year, it’s been a mixture of pain and joy for me. One week, this guy is making me happy, the next few weeks that would follow, he is giving me heartaches. And the major problem is that he is a serial cheater. I have caught him cheating on me several times and all he does is beg for forgiveness afterwards. The last one he did hurt me the most – I just found out he’s been sleeping with one of my friends! And as usual, he is begging for forgiveness again. I love this guy, Wale. Maybe it’s because he’s the one who deflowered me about a year ago, or perhaps it’s something deeper than that, all I know is that I love him to bits. But sadly, he doesn’t feel same way about me, all he knows and wants is sex. What do I do now, Doctor Love? Please, do not publish my number.
Dear Agnes, I feel your pain. Reading through your mail, I could tell its coming from a lady who truly loves her man with all her heart. Sadly, you are loving the wrong kind of man. Lets face it, Agnes, this guy doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. He is taking advantage of the fact that you’re in love with him. And to make matters worse, he’s a player, that’s something that’s too much for you to handle, considering that you’re still inexperienced when it comes to dealing with men. While you’re staying faithful to him, he’s hopping into bed with any skirt available, even if it’s your friend that’s wearing that skirt. The way I see it, if you have a pretty sister, don’t let her meet your man, otherwise……So, my piece of advice is this, give this guy a break. Stay away from him for some time and let him evaluate your relationship with him and be sure it’s you he wants or he still wants to sample every babe that comes his way. If you ask me, I’d say you simply walk away from the relationship, it’s obvious this guy will give you nothing but emotional pain. But because I know you love him like crazy, I won’t ask you to walk away. Just tell him to give you a break, allow you time to think and access the whole relationship. That way, you can also study him and see if he’s changed and ready to turn a new leaf. Best wishes.
Hello Uncle Wale, I need your help. I am a seventeen year old girl, a year one student in one of the universities. People say I’m pretty and I also think I am. My problem is that I don’t know how to say ‘no’ to guys when they come toasting me. But at the end of the day when they get tired of making love to me, they walk away and another set of guys will come toasting. I don’t know what to do Uncle Wale, please help me. Please, don’t reveal my number, Suzanne, Abuja.
For Christ’s sake, Suzanne, what is wrong with you? You have described yourself as pretty and a first year student of the university, what then is the reason why you’re doing this to yourself? Girls who go the path you’re walking now, often than not, end up battling with severe inferiority complex. When a woman has a terribly low esteem of herself, she grows timid and lacks the courage to look a man straight in the eye and tell him, ‘sorry, I’m not interested.’ You’ve got to wake up, snap out of this illusion you’re in and stop these ‘vultures’ you call boyfriends from draining you of all the sweetness and goodness that’s been deposited in you by mother nature. If at the age of seventeen you have lost count of the number of men you’ve been in bed with, what happens by the time you’re through with university? You would’ve emaciated greatly as a result of being ‘over sexed’ if you will permit my grammar! Please, Suzanne, stop doing this to yourself, these guys will only vandalize your body, suck you dry and dump you like a piece of trash. Do not allow yourself become a trash can of semen for irresponsible men. Don’t be cheap, add value to your body and tell yourself that no man that’s not worth his salt will ever get the privilege to date you ever again. Wish you the best.
Hello, Dr. Love, my name’s Mary. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by testing it with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…
Dear Mary, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man, and enjoy him, then its as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.