UNCLE WALE, my name is Precious, I am 22 years old. I am currently an undergraduate. I live with my sister and her husband. They have been married for over five years and they have 2 kids together. My sister takes care of my education and her husband supports her largely I guess. I started living with them about two years ago and everything was going well until recently when my sister’s husband began to make passes at me. He started by buying me things and telling me not to let my sister know. I didn’t think anything of it until when he started touching my bum or touch my boobs as though he was playing with whenever my sister is not in the house. I told him he should stop it that I was not comfortable with the kind of way he was playing with me. That was when he told me I should stop acting like a little girl, that he likes me and wants to date me secretly. I thought he was mad or something, but he was dead serious. Now, he gives me no breathing space whenever my sister is not around. He begs me with huge sums of money to let him have sex with me but I have repeatedly told him no. I am scared that soon, he will rape me. What should I do Uncle Wale, should I tell my sister? Please, don’t publish my number.
DEAR PRECIOUS, to be honest with you, I am really feeling quite ashamed as a man reading your account. I am embarrassed on behalf of your sister’s shameless husband. Why should he suddenly develop amorous desires for you, his wife’s younger sister? If he must cheat on his wife, must it be with you, her blood sister? I must admit, sadly, that he is not the first irresponsible man that would be involved in this sort of shameful act, but still, it always comes across as preposterous and unthinkable whenever one hears of a case like this. I will suggest you find a a way to convince your sister that you would like to go spend some time with one of your siblings, sisters, aunt or uncle whenever you are on vacation from school. Do not report him to your sister yet, try and stay away from the house for a while, while letting the man know that if he pressures you any more than he has done you will report him to the family. You can also discuss it with somebody you can confide in within the family, someone you trust can give you valuable piece of advice and still keep his or mouth shut. It’s a very delicate matter, I know you also want t be careful not to be branded as the person that broke your sister’s marriage. But it’s important you discuss it with somebody because if the matter gets worse between both of you he could deny everything and even claim you’re the one making passes at him. So, try and get away from the family for a long while and let’s see what happens. Please, reach me to update me on developments. Best of luck.
DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, my name is Mary, I am 23 year old. I am still in the university. I have been in a relationship for a year and half. But my mother called my boyfriend and told him to stay away from me, that she doesn’t want me distracted from studies. Since then, the guy has been avoiding me, saying he doesn’t problems but I still love him. What do I do, sir?
MARY, I am not so sure now what you expect me to say. I’m sure you didn’t think I would ask you to ignore your mum and go ahead to keep your relationship with your guy, did you? I believe your mum is right. And I must say your guy is a sensible young man as well, that’s if he wasn’t already looking for a way to bail out of the relationship though and your mum handed him a bailout. But if he indeed simply followed your mum’s orders, then he is a sensible young man and he must be applauded. For now, I suggest you focus on your studies like your mum said. Do not worry, when it is time, it is your mum too who would ask you if you don’t have a boyfriend, and that if you have one, you should bring him home for her to see because she will be expecting you to start talking marriage at some point. So, dear, please, put a hold on your romance for now and heed your mum’s advice, very soon, you would have all the romance that you want in the world.
DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, I have a little problem and I need your help. I am Bimbo by name, and 25 years old. I have been dating my guy for a couple of years now. When we started our relationship, it was beautiful. But afterwards, we started drifting apart. He is a good guy. Both of us cannot explain what the problem, but I think we are growing apart. I am tired of pretending that all is well with the relationship, I want to put an end to it and move on but I don’t know how to tell him. Please, advice me, what should I do?
DEAR BIMBO, before you take the decision you want to take, you must ask yourself, what exactly went wrong with the relationship? Do you sincerely believe you have no blame in the collapse of the relationship? And rather than jump to the hasty conclusion that the relationship is over, why don’t you sit your guy down first and both of you talk things over. I will ask that you tread with caution. If this guy is a good guy like you said, then he deserves that you sit down with him and talk things over. It could be that all you basically need is to bring back the sparks in your relationship as against completely throwing it all away. What is the guarantee that the next guy you go for will turn out to be as good as this guy has been to you? Think about it. Dear, and tread with caution.
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