Doctor Love, can you help me? I have a lady in my life whom I love so much, but the problem I’m having with the relationship is her ex! The guy simply will not let her be. He finds every reason to call her, to see her and even keeps in touch with my woman’s siblings and yet she says it’s over between them! What do I do, Wale, this situation is driving me crazy.
My brother, I can understand your fears. Everyone feels this way whenever an ex flame that should’ve been dead and buried suddenly makes a return and starts throwing spanners into the works for you. It can be really frustrating. But I’d like to think that it all boils down to the woman involved. If you trust her and she has her head screwed on tight to know that she’d be asking for trouble if she gives her ex too many liberties, then there’s nothing to worry about. It won’t be totally out of order though if you could also speak with your woman and let her know how uncomfortable with the situation, but be careful not to begin to show traits of a man that’s feeling terribly insecure. Most women don’t like that.. It might seem amusing and pleasing to them at first when they realize you actually love them enough to feel jealous over their closeness with a male friend. But when it begins to get out of hand, they start showing irritation. Once you’re certain to a large extent, all you need to do is talk about it and let her know how you feel.
Hello, Dr. Love, my name’s Mary. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by testing it with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…
Dear Mary, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man, and enjoy him, then its as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.
Hello, Mr. Wale, my name is Christy. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for four years. He is a very nice person but the problem is that we seem not to understand ourselves. We argue a lot. He has been asking me to pay him a visit ever since I visited him last year but the long-distance between us is too much. I really wish to see him but my job is not giving me the chance and I don’t have the freedom to go anywhere I want. We used to talk all the time but all that changed. And anytime I try to talk to him about it, we always end up arguing. Please, tell me what to do, I love him. Please, don’t reveal my number.
Christy, you and your man need to ‘calm down’, you hear me? I think that the strain in your long-distance relationship is starting to overwhelm both of you. Long-distance relationships do come with their own peculiar challenges and one of them is the pressure to be with each other after a while that you last set your eyes on each other. And once that meeting is not looking feasible in the shortest possible time, emotions begin to go up. Your guy wants to see you again. You can’t blame him for getting worked up. Now, the problem I have with your request is that you didn’t state your age and neither did you state your location and that of your guy. Having this information would’ve guided me better in offering you the appropriate advice. For instance, if you were of age, I would’ve suggested you speak to your guy about coming over to visit you and then you introduce him to your family as the guy you’re dating. Let them at least, know him. And if he’s at least sincere about his feelings for you, he shouldn’t run away from being introduced to your parents. That way, you could also tell them you wish to pay him a visit once you are able to take a few days off at your work place. But I do not know how old or mature you really are and if it would be possible for your parents to let you travel out of your base to see a man they hardly know. Try to avoid arguing too much with your man, instead, speak with him gently and let him know you also badly want to see him again but that you both need to put heads together to work out something.