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Now Or Never (2)

by Wale Lawal

I waited for them to leave. And then went into the bathroom to take my bath. I touched my tummy and I could feel something inside it. There was no baby bump yet, but I could still feel there was something growing inside of me. In my head, I thought, how would it be like to see the face of the baby Bobby sowed inside me? Would the baby have looked more like me or more like Bobby? Would it have been a girl or a boy? Would it have been a really beautiful baby? Questions, questions and more questions…..

By the time I was done bathing and doing house chores, it was close to 10 o’clock. It was time to head to the hospital. I said a little prayer and asked God to take control of the situation. I was not actually scared anything could go wrong, since I wasn’t that far gone. It was not like I was trying to abort a five month old pregnancy or something. But still, I knew I needed to commit everything to God, he needed to help perfect everything that the doctor was going do.

It was a short walk to the hospital. The doctor, of course, was waiting for me. The nurse at the front desk greeted with a warm smile, but with a slight look of, ‘so-you’re-a-bad-girl’ boldly written on her face. But trust me, I ignored whatever look she had on her face and looked straight into her eyes before speaking: “Good morning, I have an appointment with the doctor.” There was not the faintest of smiles on my face, it was dead pan serious.

“Good morning,” she answered, looking stupid as she tried to take the stupid smile off her face. “Yes, the doctor is expecting you. Please, sit down while I get your card and inform him you’re here.”

So, she looked through the files on her desk and in no time fished out my file. It couldn’t have been far away because I was there just the day before. Then, she stood up and disappeared inside the doctor’s office. A few seconds after, she emerged from inside and ushered me in.

The doctor, looking nice in his sparkling white shirt and navy blue tie welcomed me in with a big smile on his face. “How are you doing this morning, fine girl?” he said to me. I like the fact he seemed always cheerful. He was in this cheerful state when I first saw him the day before. I guess doctors are supposed to be in that cheerful, jovial state so they can always make their patients very comfortable each time they step into their office to see them.

“I am good, sir, thank you,” I answered a little shyly, looking away from him. The thought that, in a few minutes, he was going to not only see but touch my private part, unsettled me a little. But did I have a choice in the matter? Not at all! This was what I was waiting and praying for. Now that its just a few moments away from becoming reality, I told myself, there is no room for pettiness. It is now or never!     

In a matter of minutes, they started preparing the theatre for me. The nurses, two of them, were going in and out of the doctor’s office, picking out stuff they would need in the operating room. I grew nervous at the sight of the scary looking objects I was seeing before me. I shuddered at the very thought of having any of those objects inserted inside my private.

“Okay, my dear, let’s go inside,” the doctor said to me. I got up and followed him inside the room. It was a small room with a theatre bed and two shelves filled with cartons of drugs and medical equipments.

“You need to take off your trousers and under pants,” the doctor said, barging into my thoughts.

I stared at him for a short spell like I didn’t understand a word he was saying. “Your dress, my dear, you need to take it off,” his voice jolted me to reality. And, with hands that trembled slightly, I began to unbuckle my belt.

“You seem nervous, dear, are you okay?” he asked me, gazing intently at me. His gaze, as he watched me undress, unsettled me. Having a total stranger stand and watch me as I go naked before him was not the kind of feeling I had gotten used to, even though I had been violated a few times by men that I thought were decent and responsible.

“You have never undressed before a doctor before?” he asked me, a smile on his face that I figured was meant to reassure me everything was going to be fine.

 ”No, not really, doc…doctor…” I answered, looking away from him.

“No, wonder. I can understand your uneasiness then, but don’t worry, we’ll be done in just a few moments,” he assured me in a voice that seemed to have steadied my nerves a little bit.

“Or is there something else that’s bugging you?” he asked. He was trying to calm down my failing nerves. I was out of my trousers and panties now, completely naked before him. It felt so awkward. I have never felt so ashamed of myself like that before.

“No, I’m okay, am just a little scared, that’s all,” I said to him, trying to cover my private with my left hand.

“It’s alright, it is normal to feel a little scared under this kind of circumstance. So, how would you like to have the evacuation done?” he asked me. I was confused. Had no idea what he meant.

“What I mean is, would you like me to do the D&C while I give you an anaesthesia injection so you can stay wide awake all through or you would prefer we inject you to sleep for just 30 minutes while we quickly do what we need to do?”

I thought about it for a few seconds and then asked: “What is Anaesthesia?”

“It is a kind of drug that will make you not to feel any pain while the evacuation is going on. Or, you can choose to stay asleep as we perform the D&C, which would you prefer?”

I didn’t have to think too hard about it. I reckoned that even if I wasn’t going to feel the pain, the very thought of watching the doctor stick his hand in and out of my pussy just completely unsettled me.

“Please, put me to sleep,” I responded without giving it a second thought.   

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