I was distraught. Only God knew what was in father’s mind. I knew I was in trouble but what I didn’t know was the depth of trouble that I was in. There was no telling what father would do to me when I got home. But first, I had to pray that the result came back negative. Then, every other thing can follow.
“Rosemary, why did you do this to me?” mother said to me the moment father stepped out of the room. “Why did you go and bring shame to me and your father? And you know how much your father loves you.”
I tried to speak but couldn’t find the words. Something held back my tongue. I was too shaken, too distraught to know what to tell my heartbroken mother.
“So, you cannot talk to me, ehn? Now, that your father is not here, you cannot talk to me?” she asked, wondering why I was just looking at her.
“Madam, I think you need to let her rest, please…” the doctor said to her. But mother was not interested in all that.
“Doctor, you keep saying she needs to rest, can’t she talk again? Let her talk to me, please!” mother’s voice went up. She was apparently getting frustrated by the whole situation.
“The doctor turned to me. “Can you talk to your mum for a few minutes? Do you have the strength to do that?” he asked me. He was more or less asking for my approval whether to let her stay and talk to me or not. I had no other choice.
“Yes, doctor, I can talk to her,” I replied.
“Okay.” He turned to mum. “Please, ma, just a few minutes, she needs to rest, she lost a lot of blood.”
“No problem, doctor, thank you,” mother returned. She turned to me as the doctor made his way out. “Rosemary, how did you get yourself into all this? Why did you go to a boy’s place? When did you start visiting boys at home, Rosemary?”
As she was talking, tears welled up in her eyes. My mother was terribly saddened.
“Mummy, I am sorry…I didn’t know he was that kind of person,” I tried to explain.
“Why couldn’t you shout when he was raping you? Why couldn’t you scream for people to hear you?” she asked me.
“He put something in my drink. I was helpless, I couldn’t do anything.”
“What did he put in your drink?”
“He put a drug that made me weak and drowsy.”
“But after he had raped you and you left his place, what did you do? Who did you inform?”
I was confused. I don’t understand why my mother was asking me all these questions. As far as I was concerned, there was no point crying over spilt milk. The mistake has been made, the deed has been done, the next thing is to move forward. But I wasn’t in the position to tell my mother that one at this point in time. I had to take in every blame anyone puts on me. Because, in truth, I should not have you to Bobby’s house in the first place, even though God knows I did not go there for sex. That was not my intention. I liked him, yes, I will admit that. But God knows that sex with him was not on my mind.
“Mummy, there was nothing I could do…I was too ashamed to tell anyone,” I said quietly to her, not sure I knew what she would love to hear from me.
“So, you were too ashamed to tell me, your mother as well? How can you be ashamed to confide in me, your own mother? Would I not have known the next thing to do?” mother was starting to cry again.
“I was confused, I didn’t know things would turn out this way, mummy, please, forgive me…” I pleaded, hoping she would be pacified and stop crying.
“I don’t know why you’re begging me now!” she returned. “You went to a boy’s house, somebody you barely know anything about. And you didn’t even go there with any of your friends. Now, you have gotten yourself raped and pregnant at the same time, the boy and his uncle have both fled to Lagos, and you’re saying I should forgive you? How do you expect me to be happy about this?” She stopped for a moment, looked pitifully at me and shook her head ruefully. “So, you were ashamed to tell me your mother what happened to you, but you were not ashamed to tell Lisa, ehn?”
“No, ma, it was just recently I told her. I had to tell her because I didn’t know what else to do.” I explained to her. I was not sure she listened to me or if I made any sense to her.
“Anyway, just pray the result comes back negative, that you’re no longer pregnant, otherwise, me I will just leave that house for you and your father.” She did not continue the conversation with me. She picked up her bag and said to me: “Will be back in another one hour.” And she left the room.
And silently, patiently, I began to wait for the moment of truth, the moment the doctor would come inside the room with the result…