Everyone’s sexual desires are different and all of us have a unique sexual language. You can’t assume that because a previous partner enjoyed particular things when it came to sexual interaction, it will be the same with your current partner.
For many couples, having open conversations about how they want to be interact sexually is often difficult, but it’s just one of those things that need to happen to ensure a more fulfilling sex life.
“As you get more intimate with each other, you should be able to tell your partner exactly what turns you on and what doesn’t interest you. You could also send your partner an article on whatever stimulates you and tell them that this is something that resonates with you,” Clinical Sexologist Dr Marlene Wasserman, popularly known as Dr Eve, said.
“If you want to watch porn together, for instance, tell your partner that you’d really enjoy it and suggest that the two of you try it out.”
Through this communication, you should be able to manage your expectations better and also find compromises that work for you and your partner.
Here are the three pillars you should touch on in your conversation to better understand each other’s sexual languages:
How often?
While you might enjoy getting it on every day, your partner might not necessarily feel the same and it’s important to discuss this openly.
Writing for K-Y, Nicole Burton says that for starters, this will help with managing your expectations and also minimise chances of being rejected by your partner.
“Whatever your individual preferences may be, having a firm grasp on expectations allows you to nip any potential feelings of rejection in the bud,” Burton writes.
What are the limits?
We all have sexual boundaries and some are more adventurous than others. It’s important to know how far your partner is willing to go so that you don’t overstep the mark. While you might be quite keen to try sex toys, for instance, your partner may not be completely comfortable with this and shouldn’t be pressurized into exploring – it’s a matter of respect.
The discussion around sexual limitations should always happen in a non-sexual setting so that your partner does not feel ambushed.
Erogenous zones
Erogenous zones are the parts of one’s body that are sensitive to sexual stimulation and these aren’t limited to the sexual organs. Knowing where to stimulate your partner when aroused is key to making her sexual experience more pleasurable.
This is a conversation that you can have informally while you explore her body.
Additional source: K-Y
