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LAGOS DNA Expert, Dr. SALAMI ABIODUN Tells City People
Do you know that the rate at which many wives are secretly going to do DNA test for their kids has been on the increase of late? And they do it without letting their husbands know about it.
All they do these days, is to take the toothbrushes of their husbands to DNA centres to test without telling their husbands. The news of whatever the result shows is kept secret. And they tag along with their husbands knowing fully well that their kids don’t belong to the man they call daddy.
Recently, City People visited The DNA Centre at Oluwatobi House, 73 Allen Avenue, Ikeja, beside the MTN office, Allen Avenue, Lagos to check on the situation of things at the DNA Centre. What has the situation been in the last one year we asked Dr. Salami Abiodun, Snr. Geneticist at the Centre. He shook his head and said the situation is terrible, as more & more marriages are crashing as a result of DNA tests done by either husbands or wives.
“Maybe because of the social media information, there so much awareness nowadays. Most people have got to know about DNA testing. They are beginning to see the reasons why they should run a DNA test. What has also created the awareness now is the high cost of paying school fees. Atimes it is over a million. So, people want to be sure. So, we have noticed that a lot of people come in now, when compared to previous years. And people are more enlightened. Nowadays, people really want to know. Is this child mine? Before I begin to have this biological bonding. They want to know quickly enough so that they won’t be surprised at the end of the day.
Recently, the rate of people coming for the test has really increased.” How easy will it be for married people to convince each other to go for DNA testing, we asked him, since it is not part of our culture? “Yes its not part of our culture. Most times, people come independently of their spouses. Before now, most men will come to run the test privately. And when the result is positive, they keep quiet and maintain that innocence that I now know it is my child. But if it comes out negative, that is when the problem comes. That is when there is argument, that is when he now faces his spouse. Are you sure this is my child? Let’s go and do DNA. I am not sure. He has done the test already. He knows the result. That is when they start causing trouble, saying I am not, sure lets go and do DNA test. What has really baffled me recently is that, most times majority of our clients now are Women. Not even the men. So, they come with the toothbrushes of their husbands and the child, to run a DNA test, to know the truth before the man takes action. They have realised that most men are beginning to understand, they are now enlightened to do DNA test. So, before they are caught unawares, they come with the man’s toothbrush, to run the test, independently of the husband, to know whatever action they want to talk.” What is his own advice to couples? What does he think they can do or that they should do?
“My candid advice, based on my number of years of experience is that it is always good to run a test. The earlier you test the better for your own peace of mind. It is good to Trust. Yes.”
“Recently, the rate at which we have negative results is just too much. It makes you think that people don’t repeat Marriage any longer. They think it is not too important like before. Most couples don’t take Marital Vow as important. They don’t take it serious. For example, some ladies maybe in school and they have 2 or 3 sugar daddies, paying her school fees, taking care of her parents and when eventually they get married, they don’t stop that relationship. They still go back to their sugar daddy’s and occasionally sleep with them.”
We have since discovered that if run a test on 20 people, there is a likelyhood that 13 to 14 will come negative. And if it is their 1st time, the percent is even higher. It affects both men and women. Men too are guilty. After they get married, they will still continue with their previous relationships with the lady. They usually don’t end that relationship.”
“So, I will say it is very advisable for every man, the earlier you run a DNA test the better for you, to be sure that your son calling you daddy in your child or children.”
How does he feel when many of the results come out negative? Does he feel angry or what is his feeling like? “I always feel bad. About 15 years ago, I used to show compassion, but year in, year out, it is becoming frequent. It is becoming like normal to me. Atimes, if couples come with 3 children or 4 children and they run the test, and 4 children are their own, that is abnormal. What is normal is for 2 of the children or 3 of the children not to be your own. That is what we see on a daily basis. I usually advice such men to take a decision. Whatever decision you want to make, go ahead and make it. But don’t let that kill you inside. I have seen cases where men come in, we run the test, they discover that this child is n ot their own and they will call their parents and say daddy we have run the test and I have realised that the child is mine own. Thank God lets leave her. Meanwhile it is a lie, the result is showing negative. And there are some people who start the fight from here at the centre. I will really advice people to run the test.”
“But the decision on what to do boils down to them. I have seen a lot of experience. Sometimes, my advice could be biased, based on the number of tests that I have seen, but I will advice All men, I mean ALL men, to go and run their DNA test. The earlier you run your test, the better it is for you and your own peace of mind. Whatever decision you want to take, take it. It is usually a tough decision, because what do you do with a little child who has been calling you father, father, father from childhood and you have become used to that and you will now disown him or her because of the sins of the mother, you will throw them away. You can as well know in your mind that you have adopted him or her. But let your family also know that this child is not your biological child. I am only going to adopt him or her. Its better that way, because after the man has left, the trouble still brews after death. I have seen situations where the family has gone to exhome bodies. I have seen situations where they scattered burial until the test is done. I have seen a whole lot. It is always good for a man to do the test for his own peace of mind.
“For men you are doing the genetic test not to chase a woman away or not to chase the children away but for your own peace of mind and when you are no more. For instance if you run a test now, you will have your genetic profile. You will put it in your WILL, you will give it to your Lawyer. Even when you are no more, nobody comes to exhume your body. Even if they bring any other child from elsewhere they will just compare your genetic profile, with that of the child. It makes things easy.”
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