Many don’t know that Pastor Mrs. Bukola Oladiyun is a marriage counselor. She is the Director of Family life at Christ Livingspring Apostolic Ministry popularly called CLAM, situated at Omole area of Ikeja Lagos. Under this directorate is the Women Fellowship, the Singles, the Youths, the Children Church and the Teens Church. Her deep knowledge of the word of God has impacted and restructured lots of families, youths, singles lives positively. She is a woman who specialises in training other women to be submissive to their husbands and also to be an effective woman so as to render necessary and needed help at home through the ministry God has committed into her hand,“Voice of Joy and Gladness International Ministry’’ a women Ministry targeted towards helping families and generally the body of Christ through their consistent and day to day empowerment programmes and summits that has helped tremendously the youths and the singles.
Voice of Joy and Gladness Women Ministry International is founded by the power of the Holy Ghost through Pastor Mrs. Bukola Oladiyun, a vibrant Ministry where destinies are remolded, restored and given expression for fulfillment through the fiat of Apostolic teaching of the word of hope, deliverance and prophetic impartation of Grace.
This same Ministry has traveled across the continent to places like Togo, Idanre, Ile-Oluji and Lagos for healing and medical crusades with many souls being won for the Lord Jesus Christ thereby populating the Kingdom of God.
Speaking with City People Publisher SEYE KEHINDE and Assistant Editor SUNDAY ADIGUN, she revealed all the vital tips needed on How To Pick A Right Partner & sustain Marriage.
Talking about your Ministry what are the tips needed to pick a right partner and how can one stay in marriage forever?
No 1 is Prayer. No 2 is Prayer and No 3 is Prayer. Prayer is everything. But does the person have the fear of God? Does he lie? Is he being? Going through the wilderness experience with my husband wasn’t funny at all there were times we would not have food to eat. I was working but he been the first son had so many dependants while I am the fifth born, so it takes somebody who can synergise, and for someone who doesn’t have the fear of God, it won’t work. So, does the person fear God? Is he honest? Is he matured spiritually and physically? Can he control his emotions? Is he dependable? Is he reliable? if he’s not reliable there is no point wasting your time. If he says good morning and you check the time its afternoon, that’s not somebody to pitch your tent with. He tells you he’s going to Ibadan and you think he’s in Ibadan meanwhile he’s in Maiduguri. Those are the signs that he can’t be reliable. And you have to check if he’s responsible, if he’s a street fighter of course you can be sure that he would one day carry the fight to the house.
It is generally believed and discovered that many marriages are not working, what is the cause and how can one tackle this?
Family values have been eroded. Todays parents need to correct so many things. In those days children were not taught only by their parents, but these days all of us lock ourselves behind our bars in our home. The children don’t even interact anymore. People live in Isolation, All those folk tales that we used to hear to make us behave well no longer exist. For example, we used to have Tales by moonlight, all those Ijapa stories are supposed to drive home morals and teach morals to children, all those ones are lost. Parents don’t even have time for their children anymore, Daddy and Mummy go to work and leave the children at the mercy of the House maids. If you are not using housemaid you will use lesson teachers.
Lesson teachers will stay at home to keep the children engaged until the parent returns from work. Now our children are being parented by the screen; television, phones e.t.c they watch all sorts. Children of nowadays are exposed to all kinds of exposure that we didn’t have then. Now the world has become a global village, there were some films they dare not show between 4pm-9pm in those days, but the TV is 24hrs now and they show all kinds of immoral films that children must not see because the eyes and ears are gates to the heart. Children watch all sorts of Immoral films, blue films in the name of entertainment and it goes straight to their heart. It is too easy to retain all this immoral things than to retain sound warning.
The children’s eyes and ears have been corrupted, there are no more values. In those days w’ll get to secondary school before any peer pressure, but nowadays Primary 2 pupils are writing I love you letters to each other. At J-NISSI we have Child Evangelists who come to school to teach the children. Once we notice that something strange is beginning to manifest we start to teach them how to put their body under control. We usually tell them you cannot handle emotional issues with academics or else one will jeopardize the interest of the other. Emotional issues will kill your academic prowess. So we tell them to focus on academics first.
The pressure marriage institution is facing now has to do with the absence of values. There is no more family values. We’ve been operating on the platform of 21st Century principles. We have mortgaged the destinies of our youths by airing uncensored music and all sorts. However in the midst of all these there are still parents that still make out time to take care of their children.
Whenever I’m counseling those who want to get married in our Singles Programme at Voice of Joy , I always tell them what to look out for. This person you are going out with; is he responsible? Does he fear God? Is he honest? Is he emotionally ready? Any man that beat his sister will beats his wife. Any lady that beat his younger ones i.e that fights with her siblings will fight with her spouse. There are so many things to look out for. There are still wife materials.
There are still husband materials out. We just need to search with prayers and get our singles to mingle. Another issue is the fact that Youths and Singles are not ready to mingle. For every empowerment programme we do I make sure that we have a round table discussion with the singles and the youths. We make sure that we give them topics to discuss and that would afford them the opportunity to compare note.
Well put them in a group for group discussion and make sure they present one paper, the focus is for them to mingle. You can’t come to church on Sunday and after service you just carry your bible enter your car and drive off, who have you interacted with? Who have you spoken to? Who sits next to you? He or she might be the person God has sent to you. So those are the things we do to make sure they mingle, not starting with I love you. Open your eyes first, don’t let your sense of judgement be beclouded with I love you.