Hello, dear Doctor Love, my name is Agnes. I am twenty-one years old and I am in a relationship with a guy that’s ten years older than me. We have been dating for over a year now, but within that one year, it’s been a mixture of pain and joy for me. One week, this guy is making me happy, the next few weeks that would follow, he is giving me heartaches. And the major problem is that he is a serial cheater. I have caught him cheating on me several times and all he does is beg for forgiveness afterwards. The last one he did hurt me the most – I just found out he’s been sleeping with one of my friends! And as usual, he is begging for forgiveness again. I love this guy, Wale. Maybe it’s because he’s the one who deflowered me about a year ago, or perhaps it’s something deeper than that, all I know is that I love him to bits. But sadly, he doesn’t feel the same way about me, all he knows and wants is sex, he has never even talked about marrying me and I would really want to have is my husband. What do I do now, Doctor Love? Please, do not publish my number.
Dear Agnes, I feel your pain. Reading through your mail, I could tell it’s coming from a lady who truly loves her man with all her heart. Sadly, you are loving the wrong kind of man. Let’s face it, Agnes, this guy doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. He is taking advantage of the fact that you’re in love with him. And to make matters worse, he’s a player, that’s something that’s too much for you to handle, considering that you’re still inexperienced when it comes to dealing with men. While you’re staying faithful to him, he’s hopping into bed with any skirt available, even if it’s your friend that’s wearing that skirt. The way I see it, if you have a pretty sister, don’t let her meet your man, otherwise……So, my piece of advice is this, give this guy a break. Stay away from him for some time and let him evaluate your relationship with him and be sure it’s you he wants or he still wants to sample every babe that comes his way. If you ask me, I’d say you simply walk away from the relationship, it’s obvious this guy will give you nothing but emotional pain. But because I know you love him like crazy, I won’t ask you to walk away. Just tell him to give you a break, allow you time to think and access the whole relationship. That way, you can also study him and see if he’s changed and ready to turn a new leaf. Best wishes.
Doctor Love, please, reply me urgently. I have been dating my man for three years now but his ex-girlfriend still wants him back. Although he says nothing will make him go back to her, I am not comfortable with the way they have been communicating on the phone, it’s getting too much for my comfort! Wale, I’m not happy, please, what should I do? My name is Peace from Port-Harcourt…..07031977…..
Dear Peace, I can understand your fears. This is an issue that, oftentimes, rears its head between couples. I can only ask you to calm down and take things easy. If your man says he does not want to take his ex back, then you must believe him. You could also let him know your fears with his ex’s renewed interest in you. But do not push it too much, else he’ll begin to see you as a nag. Three years is enough time for you to know the kind of man you’re dating. If you know him well enough, you should be able to tell if he’s being sincere with you when he said there’s nothing going on between them. My advice is, until he proves otherwise, take your mind off the issue and concentrate on making your relationship with him even stronger.
Hello Uncle Wale, I need your help. I am a seventeen-year-old girl, a year one student in one of the universities. People say I’m pretty and I also think I am. My problem is that I don’t know how to say ‘no’ to guys when they come toasting me. But at the end of the day when they get tired of making love to me, they walk away and another set of guys will come toasting. I don’t know what to do Uncle Wale, please help me. Please, don’t reveal my number, Suzanne, Abuja.
For Christ’s sake, Suzanne, what is wrong with you? You have described yourself as pretty and a first-year student of the university, what then is the reason why you’re doing this to yourself? Girls who go the path you’re walking now, often than not, end up battling with a severe inferiority complex. When a woman has a terribly low esteem of herself, she grows timid and lacks the courage to look a man straight in the eye and tell him, ‘sorry, I’m not interested.’ You’ve got to wake up, snap out of this illusion you’re in and stop these ‘vultures’ you call boyfriends from draining you of all the sweetness and goodness that’s been deposited in you by mother nature. If at the age of seventeen you have lost count of the number of men you’ve been in bed with, what happens by the time you’re through with university? You would’ve emaciated greatly as a result of being ‘over sexed’ if you will permit my grammar! Please, Suzanne, stop doing this to yourself, these guys will only vandalize your body, suck you dry and dump you like a piece of trash. Do not allow yourself become a trash can of semen for irresponsible men. Don’t be cheap, add value to your body and tell yourself that no man that’s not worth his salt will ever get the privilege to date you ever again. Wish you the best.