HELLO, DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, my name is Agnes. I am twenty-one years old and I am in a relationship with a guy that’s ten years older than me. We have been dating for over a year now, but within that one year, its been a mixture of pain and joy for me. One week, this guy is making me happy, the next few weeks that would follow, he is giving me heartaches. And the major problem is that he is a serial cheater. I have caught him cheating on me several times and all he does is beg for forgiveness afterwards. The last one he did hurt me the most – I just found out he’s been sleeping with one of my friends! And as usual, he is begging for forgiveness again. I love this guy, Wale. Maybe it’s because he’s the one who deflowered me about a year ago, or perhaps it’s something deeper than that, all I know is that I love him to bits. But sadly, he doesn’t feel same way about me, all he knows and wants is sex, he has never even tlked about marrying me and I would really want to have is my husband. What do I do now, Doctor Love? Please, do not publish my number.
DEAR AGNES, I feel your pain. Reading through your mail, I could tell its coming from a lady who truly loves her man with all her heart. Sadly, you are loving the wrong kind of man. Lets face it, Agnes, this guy doesn’t give a hoot about your feelings. He is taking advantage of the fact that you’re in love with him. And to make matters worse, he’s a player, that’s something that’s too much for you to handle, considering that you’re still inexperienced when it comes to dealing with men. While you’re staying faithful to him, he’s hopping into bed with any skirt available, even if it’s your friend that’s wearing that skirt. The way I see it, if you have a pretty sister, don’t let her meet your man, otherwise……So, my piece of advice is this, give this guy a break. Stay away from him for some time and let him evaluate your relationship with him and be sure it’s you he wants or he still wants to sample every babe that comes his way. If you ask me, I’d say you simply walk away from the relationship, it’s obvious this guy will give you nothing but emotional pain. But because I know you love him like crazy, I won’t ask you to walk away. Just tell him to give you a break, allow you time to think and access the whole relationship. That way, you can also study him and see if he’s changed and ready to turn a new leaf. Best wishes.
HELP! I NEED GOOD SEX BUT MY MAN CAN’T GIVE IT TO ME
DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, I am in a big dilemma right now. I am a 28 year old girl, I have a very good job but still single. I am a very pretty lady but I have not been very lucky with men. I have dated some really terrible men in life. I have had to end my relationship with some guys either because they slept with my friends behind my back or they were trying to seduce my very beautiful sister. Some of them just turned out to be totally irresponsible and I can’t stand irresponsible men, not for one minute! Some others just chose to walk away for no reason. I have dated some broke ass guys, but I didn’t mind cos at that time, I felt I was in love. But to now find that same broke ass guy uses the clothes I bought for him and the money I put in his pocket to toast and sleep with other girls, I can’t stand that. But there’s this guy I’m dating now. He seems okay. So far, I think he’s a good guy. He has a good job and doesn’t need my money. The only problem I have with him is that he is not fantastic in bed! Number one is that his thing is not so big, it’s just average and for me, average doesn’t satisfy me. You have to be a little above average. I am not saying I want extra large, no. Just be a little above average and am okay. Secondly, he doesn’t last very long. Ten minutes max and he’s all done and dusted. Really? Ten minutes?? Something I do only once or at the most, twice a month, and then I get it for just ten minutes?
Doctor, please, do not begin to see me as a sex freak or something cos I’m not. But the thing is that, I am a very busy person. My job keeps me very engaged all through the week so I barely have time to socialize or have sex as much as I would love to. But once I settle down to have sex, I really look forward to a great time and ten minutes with an average candy stick cannot be a great time. So, I tell my man, to make up for the loss of time and quality sex, give me head. I love it when a guy licks and eats me up passionately down there, it can send me into another realm and give me the orgasm or at least the satisfaction his average stick can’t give me, but you know what? The guy said no way! I have begged and persuaded him endlessly but he insists he won’t do it, that he doesn’t like it. And I’m really frustrated because he is not satisfying me sexually and right now, he is leaving me no other choice but to look elsewhere for satisfaction, yet, deep down in my heart, I know I really do care about him and I don’t want to lose him. Please, Doctor, what do I do? I am dying inside.
-Sheila B, Port-Harcourt.
MY DEAR SHEILA, I had to read your mail a second time to be able to form a picture who you are in my mind. I was trying to see why you have not been very lucky with men despite being a very pretty lady as you described yourself. Apart from the fact that you have truly dated some really terrible guys, you also seem to be assertive person, by that I mean someone who tries to dominate her man and dictate how the relationship, to a large extent, goes. Most men don’t like that, that’s probably why they just walk away for no reason like you said. But let me speak about the issue at hand. First, you need to understand that not all men are comfortable with giving a lady head. Some of them think it’s dirty and unhygienic. Some other guys just simply think it’s spiritually bad for a man to do it, but they don’t think there’s a problem when they get a blow job from their babe. I will suggest you take it easy with this guy. You have said yourself that you do care about him and he apparently cares about you, so don’t mess things up just because he can’t give you head. I think instead, you should concentrate on helping him last longer in bed. If he is able to last longer, it won’t matter anymore if he is just average down there, so long as he knows how to use it and can go well beyond ten minutes. And can you help him? Discuss it with him. Tell him you want to enjoy him more and because you love him so much, you don’t want to have any reason to feel unsatisfied in bed with him. You could on his behalf, seek medical advice and get drugs for that he can use to boost his libido and man power. If he doesn’t like to give you head, don’t force it, let it go. If you try to make it an issue, then there could be problems. He could walk away too, thinking you’re some nympho he can’t possibly satisfy. So, help your man, look for solutions for him and let him apply whatever you come with and you will see how quickly things will turn around for you. Good luck.
Send Us News, Gist, more... to citypeopleng@gmail.com | Twitter: @CitypeopleMagz
