DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, Pls sir, counsel me on this issue sir.
Me and my ex, we are no longer together. But the one I told you I found that time, that doesn’t call me but always says he is busy, I just found out she is married but he said he still wants to marry me. I told him to let me think about it.
The second guy,he is in love with two ladies, myself and one other girl. And my pastor told me we are compatiable. I told him to go for the other girl but he refused, saying that am the one he wants and he doesn’t want to leave the other girl too. I don’t want to be married to such a person that can’t seem to make up his mind and take decision. Also I don’t want to become second wife. Am really confused sir, what can I do sir? Your response is urgently needed sir….Grace, Nasarawa.
My dear Grace, you have found yourself in a very tight and usual situation. You have two male options, but to be honest with you, none of them is looking good at all. Both of them are like two shining armors holding a two edged swords each.
As for your ex whom you found out is married but says he wants to marry you as well, I don’t trust him one bit. And I don’t expect you to trust him either. He concealed his marital status from you for so long until you found out yourself that he was married. Then he turns around to tell you he wants to marry you too? And you believe him? Run away fast from this one, he is only deceiving you. He wants to keep his wife at home and enjoy you on the outside, keeping you from finding your own man and building your own home like he has built his.
And how does he even plan to marry you as second wife, is he a Muslim, an Alhaji, that is expected to marry more than one woman if he wants to? You told him you were going to think about it, darling, there is nothing think about, this guy has no plans to marry you or any other woman for that matter, all he wants to do is to keep having access to your body whenever he feels like it.
The other guy is no better either. He is not married yet he says he is in love with two women at the same time, how is that possible? Is he Tony Tetuila, who sang that he was in love with two women and didn’t know which one to choose? Don’t mind that guy, just like your ex, he wants to eat his cake and have it?
Do not be deceived, he has made up his mind what he wants. He knows exactly what he was and has decided on what to do. He tells you exactly what he tells the other lady, that it’s you he wants to marry because you’re both compatible. That’s probably why she too is still holding on to him, believing she stands a better chance with him than you do. If you you want my honest opinion here, I’d say give these two guys a wide berth for now, period!
I LOVE HIM BUT WE FIGHT A LOT!
HELLO, MR. WALE, my name is Christy. I have a boyfriend whom I’ve been dating for four years. He is a very nice person but the problem is that we seem not to understand ourselves. We argue a lot. He has been asking me to pay him a visit ever since I visited him last year but the long distance between us is too much. I really wish to see him but my job is not giving me the chance and I don’t have the freedom to go to anywhere I want. We used to talk all the time but all that changed. And anytime I try to talk to him about it, we always end up arguing. Please, tell me what to do, I love him. Please, don’t reveal my number.
MY DEAR CHRISTY, you and your man need to ‘calm down’, you hear me? I think that the strain in your long distance relationship is starting to overwhelm both of you. Long distance relationships do come with their own peculiar challenges and one of them is the pressure to be with each other after a while that you last set your eyes on each other. And once that meeting is not looking feasible in the shortest possible time, emotions begin to go up. Your guy wants to see you again. You can’t blame him for getting worked up. Now, the problem I have with your request is that you didn’t state your age and neither did you state your location and that of your guy. Having this information would’ve guided me better in offering you the appropriate advice. For instance, if you were of age, I would’ve suggested you speak to your guy about coming over to visit you and then you introduce him to your family as the guy you’re dating. Let them at least, know him. And if he’s at least sincere about his feelings for you, he shouldn’t run away from being introduced to your parents. That way, you could also tell them you wish to pay him a visit once you are able to take a few days off at your work place. But I do not know how old or mature you really are and if it would be possible for your parents to let you travel out of your base to see a man they hardly know. Try to avoid arguing too much with your man, instead, speak with him gently and let him know you also badly want to see him again but that you both need to put heads together to work out something.
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