A few months back, Bishop Peace Okonkwo of TREM celebrated her 70th birthday. It was elaborate. Below are excerpts of her interview with members of her church on her marriage to Bishop Mike Okonkwo. It is very revealing.
Let’s talk about your husband, Big Daddy? Was he in the picture from day one?
Big Daddy. You know there was a church, Aladura Church. After the war, people were looking for God, especially the Easterners. They lost everything. I like music; I went to that church to dance and make myself happy.
Bishop’s elder sister and her husband were members of the church. So, Bishop was also an attendee in that church, UCC. He must have mentioned it. Mama Iloh, the Reverend Mother, loves me so much. Bishop is a shy person, he told her that he loved that lady, but he could not talk to her. So, Mama Iloh told me that her brother loved me. Apparently, my grandmum and his family attended the same Anglican Church. So, the day I came to their house to see Mama Iloh, she was living in Baba’s compound.
So, he asked me, “Nwa onye ka ibu”? Whose daughter are you? I mentioned my grand mum, and he said, “amam mama gi” I know your mum.
It was Bishop that told me the story. He said that, the family is good, Bishop had an air because the family has money. He would use his father’s car to bamboozle us. When he came to our youth programme, he would be flying keys; I would be wondering, “what is wrong with this guy, always showing off?”
How do you feel about marrying Bishop?
It is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I must tell you; he is a good man.
Please let us know who Bishop is at home?
Bishop at home? Once you see him, that is who he is at home.
At home, as a husband, we sit together on the floor to watch football. I am Chelsea; he is a Man U fan. So, he is a father to the core. However, when my daughter was growing up, when I was not at home, she would run. He would ask her, “have you done your homework? have you eaten? Goodbye”. So, she was sort of scared of him. He is just himself, and he does not select food. Anything you cook for him, he would eat. He does not instruct that you must cook this or cook that. He is not into that till today; if you ask him what he wants to eat, he would say, anything, and he eats well. In fact, he eats very well, is gentle and loveable; he is a good man. I am glad that God sent me his way because when I look at some men, I would say, “If na this one, I for don go my mama home, it is true. There are those ones that every time, they are shouting and shouting; I would say, if na this one I for don go by force. Bishop helps me a lot in the ministry; I am what I am because of God and himself. He would encourage me, “Do it, you can do it”, and I would do it. So, he helps me, teaches me, directs me.
When we were still going out before the pandemic, I would collate all the places I had been invited to and show him. He approves of the ones I would go to. That is the way it should be because I am a woman under authority. I believe in the man’s authority and moreso because of his attitude towards me. He is a lovely husband; why should I be strong-headed! There is no need for that.
Considering the body of Christ against the philosophy of what a man can do, a woman can do better, what is your advice to some of our sisters who believe in women’s emancipation?
I do not believe in it. I do not believe in what a man can do; a woman can do better. God is not stupid. God is not unrighteous. There are things for the men, and there are things for the women.
Why should we struggle over the things that are for the men?
How did you become a pastor for the headquarters’ church?
It was the men that came for me. The Christian men in the church went to meet the Bishop and told him that they wanted mama to be their pastor, and I said Hey! these people don come. I said I did not want to hurt anyone; they said, just agree that you would be our pastor. If I do not remember anyone, I will remember the man Ogbeta. So, that was how I became Obanikoro’s pastor. Bishop did not just bring me and say, you are the pastor of Obanikoro church.
A man’s gift makes way for him.
You have described your marriage as very blissful, are you saying there is no moments of disagreement or agreement?
If I tell you that, it is a lie. There are times we disagree. You disagree to agree. Do you understand what I mean? Everything can never be perfect, but you work it out. Sometimes, he could tell me some things, and I would say, I do not agree with this one. He would then explain it to me. It is like that even in the Board meetings.
It is not everything said at the Board I agree with. I have my own mind, but he would try to explain why it had to be that way. If the explanation is good, why would I not accept it?
So, if I tell you there is no day of disagreement- it is a lie. Anyone that says that, we need to cast demons out of his or her life.
How do you find time to relax?
I am a woman who plans her life. I plan my day each week, Monday is the Pastors’ meeting, and I attend. Tuesday is Power for Living Service; Wednesday is my Counseling Day. No matter when you come- from outside or from within” I would see you on Wednesday but Thursdays, you may not see me all the time, and I take time to retool Thursdays and Fridays. I take time to pray and listen to God. Then on Saturdays, house chores. Sunday Service. I have people in the house that help me. There is a girl I have lived with for many years. I trained her in primary school and secondary school. She has just finished at a Catering School. Before I come back to cook, they would prepare all the condiments. When I come into my house, I remove my shoes, go straight to the kitchen, and do the cooking. She was small when she came into my house, but now, she is a lady.
For relaxation, I told you that we sit down on the floor to watch football; that is relaxation, and at times, we sit down and talk and pray about things. Our family prayer time is in the morning. Everybody leads each day, I lead
Monday and Tuesday, and Daddy’s Day is on Saturday. -we usually read the bible. Daddy’s day is an entire church service. The guys I am living with have one day each. That is how we have been doing it. Then, after the morning devotion, I would go inside for personal prayer before I go to the pastors’ meeting.
Ma, you are a Chelsea fan, and Bishop is a Manchester United fan; I hope your support for your different teams does not bring discord at home?
No, it is fun all through; Manchester United did not make it to UEFA Championship, but Chelsea is number three in the EPL.
What is your best food?
I do not have a best food. I eat every food. I do not like too much rice anyway. I like more Soupy food; I like bitter leaf soup, Oha soup, then when I want to eat it, I do not overeat because of my age. I do not overeat carbohydrate food, I take more soup than carbohydrates. You can just see me take a handful of either garri or whatever, but the soup will be much.
Which day was your happiest day?
This is a hard one. The day I got married, I was very happy. The day I had my second child, I was very happy. I cannot say which day was my happiest day. The day God did something wonderful in my life, I was happy.
Can you remember your saddest day?
My saddest day was the day I lost my daughter.
Do you do regular exercise?
Of course, I do exercise every morning. I walk around and do some little exercise I was taught, and I drink a lot of water.
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