PLEASE WALE, I need your help Doctor Love. I am a girl of 18 years and in SS 3. I started dating this guy who’s about 30 years old for four months now. I have slept with him so many times and he’s never trusted me. He’s always accusing me of sleeping around and beats me up always. Now, he doesn’t call me again, I am always the one calling him. Please, uncle Wale, what do I do? Please don’t reveal my number. ———Grace, Lagos.
MY GOD! Another one? What’s going on here? What’s happening to you girls? At 18 years, you should, at the very least, be on your way to the higher institution but you’re still in secondary school getting ripped off by much older guys. Forgive me if I’m being a little hard on you, but seriously, this is not looking good for you. You have turned yourself into a sex slave for a man several years older than you. You say this man accuses you of ‘sleeping around’ and also beats you up, what would he call what you’re doing with him, ‘sleeping within’? Are you his wife? Grace, how do you imagine your parents would feel if they find out their beloved baby girl is neck deep into this sort of mess? If you’re still in secondary school like Lola and you’re already on sex spree with an older partner, what will become of you when you get into the university? How do you leave the house to go have sex with this guy so regularly and nobody in the house monitors your movements? Your education must be your only priority for now, not turning yourself into a sex slave for a man whose only mission is to set you firmly on a path of self destruct! Read my lips, stay away from that guy, he is nothing but bad news. I will have to call you up on phone, I need to understand to understand if you stay with your mum and dad and why no one seems to be paying you any attention in the house.
HELLO, DOCTOR LOVE, my name’s Mary. I need your help. I do not enjoy sex with my guy and he’s the only one I’m dating. I don’t want to cheat on him by testing it with another guy. Please, help me…0816881…
DEAR MARY, I would’ve liked to know your age first and find out from you if your guy met you a virgin. I say this because, from your text, you sound to me like you’ve never had sex with any other man apart from your boyfriend. If that’s the case, all you need to do is discuss your feelings with your man. Let him know your frustrations. Show him the part of your body that you would like him to touch and concentrate on. If he’s also the type that pays little attention to romance and foreplay and then mounts you even before you get wet, let him know your body doesn’t react well to this. You need to have an intimate discussion with him. It should really worry him too that you’re not enjoying sexual intimacy with him, any man worth his salt should be unselfish when it comes to lovemaking. If a woman can’t feel her man, and enjoy him, then its as bad as being punished by him. Open up to him and let him know how you feel, hopefully, if he cares about how you feel, he would put aside his own pleasures and work towards satisfying you.
GOOD DAY, MR. WALE, I’m Lola and I’m in a very complicated situation. I don’t know if you can help me. I am 16 years old and I think I’m in love with a 36 years old man. He said he loved me too and I fell for him. After sleeping with me severally I think he doesn’t want me again. Although, once, he asked me to marry him, but I believe he only used that to fool me, now that he’s slept with me, he’s not talking about marriage anymore. I have a feeling he doesn’t want me again even though he has not said so. Please reply, I don’t know what to do. ——————0814486…..
GOODNESS ME! What in heavens name are you doing to yourself? Didn’t you say you were just 16 years old? Don’t you have parents or you’re not living with them presently? How could you let a man 20 years older than you be ruining your future? What exactly are you expecting me to tell you? That you should go beg him to change his attitude towards you so he can continue to use you and ‘vandalise’ your body? I certainly won’t do that. For Christ’s sake, you probably can’t even recall the number of times this cradle snatching idiot has taken advantage of you! Listen to me, young lady, get out of that illicit and shameful relationship fast before you get your fingers burnt. You should be focusing on your education now and work towards ensuring you get into the university, not wasting your youth and energy satisfying a lecherous old fool’s libido. Now that you can see he’s been deceiving you all this while, I hope the scales have fallen from your eyes.