HELLO, DOCTOR LOVE, I have a boyfriend, we have been dating for over a year and 3 months now. This year, June to be precise, he first proposed to me and ever since he proposed, we have both been enjoying the relationship without any issue. But not long ago, he told they had some family issues at home and that he would have to travel home for about a week plus. A week after he left, I decided to go to his house to help him clean up the place and tidy things up before he returns since I also have a spare key to myself. That was when I met the greatest shock of my life. I met my fiancé in the house with another girl and to make things really worse, he told me to my face that she is his girlfriend. I left his house almost in tears. I could not believe he would do that to me.
After a few days, I went to return the ring he gave to me the day he proposed and he started begging me, saying the girl was not his girlfriend, that he said that only to hurt my feelings because I disobeyed him. We reconciled shortly after. But the same girl now reached me on Facebook saying that my fiancé told her a lot of bad things about me and that they are still in touch with each other, meanwhile he lied to me that he has stopped talking to her. To be honest with you, sir, I love him but at the same time, I feel terribly betrayed by him. I have decided to end the relationship after my birthday which comes up in a week’s time. So, please help me, I don’t know if I’m about to do the right thing…..Princess from Benin.
DEAR PRINCESS, let’s be honest, what your fiancé did is terribly unpardonable, denying you your right in his house and in his life in front of a total stranger. It is the height of irresponsibility and recklessness. A lot of women would probably not give him a second chance for doing that to a lady who’s already your fiancée. Obviously, you must feel very hurt by the treatment he gave you but more painful is the fact that after you moved on and reconciled, he still kept in touch with the lady and she also got in touch with you and told you about the terrible things he told her about you. But before you take the decision to walk away from him and dump the relationship, you need to confront him with these things and hear what he has to say first. It’s his response that will determine what you do next. Will he admit to you that he said the things the lady told you he said? Will he apologise for saying them? Or could it be the lady made up those things just to hurt you and get you to leave your man since it’s looking like she can’t have him too? Only your man has the answers to these questions and it is the answers he gives to you that will determine your next line of action.
So, you need to be careful how you go about it. But you must confront him first and then take your final decision. You still need to reach me though, I still have a few questions to ask you. One of them is, is this the first time he’s cheating on you or you already caught him once or twice before? Two, how apologetic was he when you both reconciled last time? I also need to know your age and his as well. Please, get in touch, dear, waiting to hear from you.
SHE IS ALWAYS FIGHTING WITH MY FRIENDS!
DEAR DOCTOR LOVE, I have this lady I have been dating for two years now. We love each other. I love her a whole lot and always want to have her around me. The only problem with this girl is that she has a temper. She is one of those ladies with a very short fuse. She can snap at the slightest of provocation. I have been able to manage her so far, but she is always having issues with my friends. She gets into arguments with them and when she gets angry she forgets she is talking to my friends and sometimes says things she shouldn’t say. Now, a lot of my friends say they don’t like her. Some have subtly told me that if I get married to her, they won’t come visiting me in my house, we will have to meet outside for fear of the kind of treatment she may give them. And when I try to bring these issues up, she tells me I should choose between her and my friends. I am fed up with the situation, please, what should I do? I don’t want to lose my friends…..Segun, Ibadan.
DEAR SEGUN, I feel you. You have found yourself in a situation where a lot of guys have found themselves before they got married. And trust me, it’s a very delicate and tricky situation to be in. Most guys will tell you no woman can come between me and my friends, she will have to leave because my friends have been with me from way back and I can’t dump them for a woman. Wait till such guys find themselves a woman they really care about and the song changes. What you need to do is speak to your babe. Let her know how important your friends are to you and how uncomfortable you are that she is not getting along with your friends. Let her know, very clearly, that you can’t do without your friends, they are important to you just as she is important to you. Let her know that if she truly loves you, she will make you a very happy man by trying very hard to get along with your friends for the sake of your relationship. Let her see how unhappy the situation makes you and get her to promise you that she will work at it.
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