- Plans Classy Wedding For NOVEMBER
In the next few weeks, Bonike Odegbami would be married! Bonike is the niece of ace footballer, Segun Odegbami. But she likes to describe herself as his daughter. he too likes to call her my daughter.
Bonike is lucky to be alive today. But for God’s grace she may not have been alive today to plan her wedding. This is because she has had a big battle with two types of cancer and she survived it. And she recently shared what she went through.
It is very uncommon for people to share it but she built up her faith, talked about it even when her family thought she will not be able to adjust to the life threatening ailment and fought it to the end. They were shocked when she personally wrote about it and made it public on her Facebook page. Her uncle, Segun Odegbami, whom she dearly regards as her Dad is her Dad’s younger brother but she said she grew up to know him as her Dad all her life. He (Odegbami) played the role of her father at her wedding introduction few months ago and will also repeat same role at the upcoming traditional wedding, so it will not be out of context to refer to them as Father- Daughter.
Bonike is a bubbling, loving and amazing woman who has done well for herself. She lives in the US and she is an astute educationist, part of why she made her ailment public so that she can help them with vital information in one way or the other. Bonike who has had her wedding plans in place for November this year, is not holding back but believes she is a survivor and she will have her wedding come what may on the fixed dates. Despite her ordeal, she kept making preparations on her wedding, putting finishes touches to all vendors contracted for the grand wedding which will hold in Abeokuta, Ogun state.
Bonike is born to the Odegbami family from Abeokuta, her mum is Mrs Mojisola Ogunsina Odegbami. After a 2-year long distance courtship, she got engaged to her beau, a UK big boy, Funmi Leigh in a beautiful proposal with a diamond ring from a top jewelry shop in US, Jared, on September 16th, 2017 and they had their introduction on January 27th in Abeokuta, Ogun State.
Their traditional wedding has been fixed for Saturday, November 24 in Abeokuta, while their destination white wedding will be at the Conrad Maldives Rangali Island in Spain, on 13th of April, 2019.Her husband, Funmi Leigh is a rare type and has stood solidly behind her in this travails. He has shown her how deep his love for her is. He openly displays it and writes about it often. Funmi stays in the UK and is from the Brazillian Quarters of Lagos Island in Lagos State. He is also from a prominent family. In one of his posts on the wedding, he wrote:
“On September, 16,2017, In the presence of 22 families, friends and well-wishers, I asked Bonike to marry me, in the aftermath of a failed relationship and a second chance at love. Bonike, has instilled a quiet confidence inside me, derived from myself- awareness and what we both possess together. Join us on November 24, 2018 in Nigeria, as we enter into a new life with complete certainty, choosing to trust this new start as if it were the first time around — Funmi Leigh”.
In also one of his posts, he confirmed his unending love for Bonike through her trying period and wrote, “Omobonike my love. I was just speechless. Listening to you just made me realise exactly what you’re going through. Though, I’ve always known you to be fragile despite the strong posture you portray. I want you to know that I will be right beside you all the way through this frightening period’’. If you go through Bonike’s page, it gives any cancer patient an assuredness that they can always fight it till the end, her posts give hope to the hopeless, comforts the soul and gives them power to keep fighting till they win.
She seems strong and undaunted and this made her healing and recovery process easy despite accepting the fact that the journey was tough which makes her recovery process unique With Bonike’s permission to write about this, below are her posts on her social media pages, Facebook and Instagram in August where she told her own story of how she fought and survived the dreaded ailment for many months, how she detected breast cancer, and a week into her radiation treatment, she was diagnosed also with ovarian cancer. She wrote:
“As I celebrate my 46th birthday, I reflect on life’s lessons and how my priorities have changed over the years. A cancer diagnosis 4 months ago put things in perspective. One of the many life lessons I’ve learned is that life is very fragile. I’m kinder, more patient, practice civility more, embrace differences better, forgive easier, and I don’t sweat the small stuff. God favors me. He put me in situations that challenged the old me and forced out a new me. I thank God for all my trials and victories as they have made me a better person.
I used to pray for the peace and happiness I have today so I really don’t want anything for my birthday- God has indeed blessed me. I’m spending my birthday on a road trip to Tennessee to drop off my baby at the University of Tennessee and there is no better satisfaction than knowing I did an awesome job with her.
Thank you all for the greetings, prayers, and well wishes. May God meet all of us at our point of need. #46 looksgreatonme. My story motivates me to write about cancer and my experience with it. I am sharing the deepest and most intimate parts of my life with people, some I don’t even know! However, the response I have been receiving have been incredible. I am sharing my heart with hundreds of thousands of people and if my narrative helps one cancer patient, then every bit of it is worth it.
Telling my story publicly is how I control my narrative. People have a tendency to act like they know you or what is best for you. Get in front of the Drama and be transparent—there is no gist here, this is me, my journey and my way of healing. I don’t fight unless I know I am going to win and I am going to win this. I have a wedding to participate in. No more tears. Breast cancer experience is an ever-changing, non-predictable journey. This journey is evolving into one of growth and enlightenment and is providing me with many unexpected and new opportunities. In searching for the meaning of the journey, which changes over time, I am growing while finding comfort in the challenge.
My journey focuses on the uncertainty of the future in terms of recurrence, long-term side effects, and ever-changing and uncertain personal roles. Abandonment of some previous life activities prior to the cancer experience is sometimes an issue. In addition, losses having been occurring in the areas of social interaction. I have received messages from some that discouraged me from posting about my experience as if cancer is some sort of secret punishment that I must be ashamed of and hide. Well, I use the writing process as a way to understand myself and others, as well as to connect with the outside world. Growth comes in deriving meaning and purpose from this experience.
The journey is the structure in which self-transcendence is occurring. Discovering who I am and what I am about brings meaning to the experience, to the journey, and to life. I view this experience less as a period of acute symptoms and more as a dynamic, life-long process. It is not a singular aspect of my life but rather an accumulation of physical, psychological, sexual, social, and spiritual responses to changes that have evolved from the diagnosis and its treatments. One of the hardest things throughout this process is simply saying I have cancer.
I reflect on the fact that I am about to start what would seemingly be the most exciting times of my life and we are experiencing cancer. Obviously, cancer and breast cancer is always shocking and horrible, but our lives are just beginning as a married couple! To say that it has thrown our life off course and into a tailspin is an absolute understatement. Since April 24th when my life was threatened, it made me look at my life and how I was living it. One of the things I have been hearing is “You are so positive!” Of course, I try to remain positive, but I really can take little to no credit for it. I really did not have to try to remain positive.
I truly believe that God shielded me and protected me from fearful information and reminded me all along the way that the end of my story is going to be good. So, I attribute my positivity to God’s goodness and favor toward me. As I sit at my desk, I ponder on the Nigerian culture of fear and shame. This fear and shame mean that many of us avoid thinking or talking about cancer. Because of this aversion and avoidance, we do not always live our lives as fully as possible. There is no doubt that the diagnosis of cancer induces confusion, shock, and disbelief that profoundly changes lives forever.
However, like other crises, cancer can provide an opportunity for personal growth and healing. Whatever the response, cancer forcefully motivates each person to focus on issues of self-esteem, morbidity, mortality, survival, spirituality, and a number of other traits that give substance and meaning to life.
I wonder why we have succumbed to fear. Fear that people would know we are ill? Or fear that people will make us sicker, or mock us? I believe that my destiny is not in the hands of any human being and while I do not know the root of my diagnosis, I do not believe it is man-made. My aunty had breast cancer, my cousin had cancer, my sister had cancer, my daughter had cancer and I am sure a host of other relatives had cancer but would rather blame some imaginary enemy for their illness, depriving the rest of us the opportunity to get testing done.
As I hung up the phone, I thought of the day I would say I am a survivor – the term is empowering, it is comforting, and it is unique. Further, my life has undoubtedly been shaped by my cancer experiences. Having said this, the pessimistic part of my brain made me aware of the many reasons why I do not like to use the term cancer survivor. The fear of recurrence is present in every mysterious ache or prolonged cold.
Dr. Bonike Odegbami is a board Member at Agents of Hope. She is the District Vice Chancellor, International. Progs. at Wayne County Community College District, WCCCD in Detroit, Michigan where she started as a campus dean. She Studied Business management at DeVos Graduate School of Management. She also Studied Higher Education Administration at University of Toledo. USA.
She had another degree in Psychology at Bowie State University and went to Immaculate Heart Comprehensive High School, Maryland. She lives in Northville, Michigan. Her fiancé, Mr. Funmi Leigh, lives in the U.K. He is in the Cyber Security field in Wolverhampton, U.K. This will be the second marriage for both of them and they have 6 kids between them. The official wedding is on April 13, 2019 in Maldives.
Her famous uncle, Segun Odegbami’s posts reads, My Day 18 political Diary ‘‘Today has been a mixture of emotions and good tidings. This morning I read Day -1 of a new diary written by my daughter. She started it today and posted it on Facebook. It is a gripping report of her experience on the first day of going for treatment for cancer. She left me in tears, — of joy and of pains! The joyful part is easily understandable. she is in capable hands in US. Four months ago, she was diagnosed with the dreaded disease.
In revealing the sad news to the family, her spirit and the manner she handled the narratives have been the pillar which the entire family has leaned on to accept the news and to encourage her. She is a bright star in the family. Still in her mid-forties. She is the first black and African vice chancellor of an American university and a recipient of several international, intellectual awards and commendations in the field of education. Before her shocking announcement, in the past one year, the family has been happily and feverishly preparing for her wedding (a second shot) coming up in November in Abeokuta. She is in a new relationship that we all believed is made in heaven. Now this! But we have hope.”
The all access card wedding will be live with top vendors who will wow guests, the coordinator is themainevents 13, MC is Humble Prince. Music will be supplied by Boye Best, Dj Rudd on the wheel. Aso ebi is supplied by Zevida Fabrics,Trad Anchor is Ile Oko Ya,Deco and Seyi Vodi for grooms 1st and 2nd outfit,Toju foyeh for brides 1st outfit and Tubo for 2nd and 3rd outfit, Stormblast media Videography, Femi Onatuga photography and Marygee for make up.
TAYO FAJORIN OYEDIJI