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What She Told City People
If there is one female personality that has continued to astound many and earn the respect of women all over with her grass to grace story in the last couple of months, it is popular comedienne, Helen Paul.
Ever since the video in which she talked about her being borne out of rape and the stigma she endured went viral, everyone has been talking about. Her story resonated with everyone especially having finished her story with the line: Helen Paul, a comedian in Nigeria, a professor in the United States. The respect many have for has soared ever since. She is now regarded as not just a role model but a true representation of the strength and resilience of the African woman. These days, when Helen Paul steps out to speak, men and women, old and young, listen to her. She has emerged as the new voice of the voiceless girl child.
Last Thursday, November 30, 2023, at Etal Event center, Oregun, Ikeja, City People held its annual Award for Excellence and Helen Paul was there to receive her award as Role Model of the year. City People Senior Editor, WALE LAWAL (08037209290) had a brief chat with the very humble and likeable Helen Paul. Enjoy excerpts.
Alright, let me begin by saying, it is a huge honour to be speaking with one of the most admired, respected, influential women at this time.
Thank you
One question a lot of people would want to ask is, how has Helen been able to bottle up all the things that she is just starting to let out now, all these years ?
I mean, apart from the the fact you were borne out of rape, many didn’t know a lot of the other things you passed through. How has Helen been able to bottle all of this up without letting them stop her from attaining all that she has been able to attain?
Thank you very much. First, i will say everyone has a story to tell, as long as you are alive, you have experiences. Every day we experience one or two things, some we learn from, some we cry about, some we are emotional about, either positively or negativity. But the most important thing is that I have learnt to always take more of the lessons and asked few questions. God why is this like this? why is this happening this way? and that has been very good for me.
Then in terms of being able to carry through, that depends on the people you surround yourself with. I have been blessed with gift of men. You know, when I say gift of men, I mean my mentors, my friends, neighbors, school mates, people like you. God had favored me with the CEO of City People who is Uncle Seye, you yourself that’s interviewing me, Bayo Adetu and Debola of Punch.
So when you have the gift of men, it is very very good, they will help you scale through. I have Bunmi Davies, I have some of my mentors that when things happen, I’m asking who is on this field, I have some who have general knowledge about things. I have some who have knowledge on academics, I have some who have knowledge about my comedy career, I have some who have knowledge about marriage. So, your people, your mentors are like what Yoruba will say” eniyan laso eyan”.
You know, who are the people you are surrounded with? Do you really have people? Do you have over 200 and something people on your phone but do not have anyone to call? So, you need to sit down, and put pen to paper. The bible says “ write the vision, make it plain that men may see and run with”. Pick up your pen, write in your paper, who and who, draw the line, understand your boundaries with this person, with that person and that has really helped me, you know, to scale through life.
When people, especially women, see you, they see a confident woman now, they see an accomplished woman, a survivor. But then again, it couldn’t have been all rosy, there must have been a few dark moments, periods when you wanted to give in, periods when you felt it was the world against you. How were those moments like for you? Were there a few moments like that?
Oh, yes, there were moments like that. But, like I said, when you have the gift of men, your mentors are inclusive, you are able to pull through. So, I have people I speak to every time I am faced with that kind of problem. I have Nike Adeyemi, I have Funke Adejumo, I have Mayowa, Pastor K’s wife Kayode Ijisesan, Mayowa Ijisesan. I have people that I call, I have mentors, Academically, maritally, financially, life lessons, career wise like i mentioned of Bunmi Davies. When you have people in your life, not people that are keeping receipts, people that will help you cross that ordeal and you will be fine, that is what I’m talking about. So you need to sit down, either you are a woman or you are a man, it doesn’t have to do with women, men are even worse. Most men don’t even know who to open up to, so they go to the beer parlor, they can’t even open up to friends so they end up drinking, get drunk and go home and think the problem will go, No, problem will not go. It will not be solved. So, generally, both men and women, boys and girls, let’s pray for the gift of men, of people that we are surrounded by. Check the people you have, you cannot open up everything to everybody but you have the spirit of discernment. You have the gift, the spirit of God is in you to tell you who to talk to, where to talk and how to talk everything out and then things will be taken care for you.
In all of those difficult times, when ordinarily, someone in your position would have been immersed in pain, in anger, in desolation, yet, you still found the ability to make a living out of comedy, how were you able to still come out to make people laugh when you didn’t have much of that laughter around you growing up?
No, the gift of God within man is forever because the one that gives you the gift, gives without repentance. Especially, let me take you back to the biblical side of life. We know the story of Satan who was casted down but yet he is still the most powerful and gifted, do you understand? We don’t want his kind of power because he will give you the power and deal with you. But, who gave him the gift, God. According to the story, God gave satan the powerful gift, the most gifted in singing, in acting, in everything, in fact, good-looking but very manipulative, you understand what I’m saying. So, when God gives you a gift, he gives without repentance. Like I said, the gift of people, identify some things that you don’t know that you have, it is very important. So, I have always had people saying, Helen you are good at this, come and try this out, Helen you are good at that, come and do this, Helen you make me laugh. So, I had to start training, so that really helped me.
Wow
You have mentioned a long list of people who were there for you, who inspired you.
And we still have more people but we are not going to be having that today
How did your husband come into the picture?
What were those things you saw about him that told you, This is it?
Well, he was my boss’ friend and I just liked the fact that as a lawyer, he was very gentle. He was a good listener, I wanted to just have him as a mentor. So, from the mentor, he turned to mentee at home.
How old is the marriage?
I’m 13 years in marriage and we praise God for that.
What is often at the back of your mind, when you get the opportunity to speak about the difficult times you’ve been through?
What are you wishing to impart on women? What are you hoping they will be able to take away from your story?
First and very important, I tell people, you are in charge of your emotions. You either choose for people to play with your emotions or for you to be in control at the time you want to use your emotions. Anger is a powerful emotion that destroys you or destroys men generally, so we have to be very careful, so, guard your heart with all diligence. The way you guard your heart really matters. So, you will know what to really count and what not to count. For me, most of the time I see most of them as gist now, because I have worked on myself. I have asked Christ for the renewal of the mind and all things are working together for my good. Both the bad stories and the good stories are working together for my good.
Tell us finally about Helen Paul and Christ. Every sentence you have uttered here today has either been punctuated by Christ or God or the bible. Tell us about this relationship with God?
Well, everybody has a relationship with God because he is your creato. If you first agree that he is your creator then you are fine. He relates with us in different ways but of course i cannot forget my source and that is why I keep saying Christ.
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