Why I Walked Out Of My Marriage

•Table Tennis Legend, FUNKE OSHONAIKE

To many lovers of sports, most especially Table tennis, the name Funke Oshonaike needs no further introduction. She is a sport legend and in fact one of the best Table Tennis players to ever emerge from the African continent. In her over 30 years career, Oshonaike who many people refer to as Africa’s table tennis queen has bagged numerous medals at both national and international level. Oshonaike started her playing career very early in life and has risen to become an inspiration to many people out there.

Aside her remarkable achievement in sports, she is also a known voice in the noble campaign against girl child abuse and domestic violence. In a chat with ace sports journalist, analyst and presenter, Godwin Enakhena on a popular sport programme, Top Sport on Top Radio, Oshonaike bears it all out as she related what she went through in her marriage and why she decided to walk out on it, a decision she said she never regretted. Below are excerpt:

There’s something you talk about which is the girl child abuse. You went through that repeatedly, abused by men in your life. You have been in a toxic marriage and you had to call it quit before it takes your life. Thank God you are out of it. How would you react to this?

I didn’t know any better life at that time. The only thing I would see myself doing that time was just crying every day. I would be beaten and after being beaten that same person is going to jump on top of me. Believe me that everything that has happened to me in life, I think it’s just part of experience. Some people don’t come out because they are ashamed that people are going to bash them. You don’t need to be ashamed. I remember people told me, Funke you have to pray, you have to fast, you have to do this, you have to do that. I did everything. Believe me the most important thing to do when going through an abusive relationship being a man or a woman is to run away from that relationship. Get separated. Let your partner go get therapy and let that person get treated. When the person is okay, you can come back. And if the person is not going to change, please move on with your life. This life is so short for you to be suffering in a marriage. You don’t need to suffer in a marriage. We are supposed to enjoy our marriage. I know marriage is not a bed of roses. I understand that but not for somebody that should be punching you like a boxing bag. So, if you are there now, I beg you in the mighty name of God. I survived more than 10years, I survived more than two times, you might not survive it. Please walk out. Life is so short and you need to enjoy it.

Are you ready to give love a second chance?

Yes of course I need to move on. I know I told people I might not get married again but in this life you can never say never. I don’t know what God has Got in store for me. So, I have given God everything to handle. I have started thinking of moving on, love again. Maybe I might not be able to do white wedding or go somewhere but I think I would really love to love. I hope to find somebody that is going to love me one-day. I want somebody that’s going to give me my dream. I just hope I will be able to see my dream man one day, a man that’s not going to cheat on me. He will not cheat on me and he will not beat me. He will just love me for who I am. I hope one day, that angel is going to come. God is going to send that angel to me. I trust God. I know He’s going to do it.

You were in Lagos here playing Tennis in Nigeria and your husband was getting married to another woman. You saw it in the media…

Yes, I did. That was tough and, on that day, I will never forget my BP went so high. I was dying and I didn’t know and my BP was 200. I had to be rushed out from the arena. I couldn’t finish the match I was playing. That is to tell you that if you die in marriage… I was shocked. It was not something I was expecting. I came to Nigeria. I asked him to help me with my kids, he did not and the next thing that I saw was that he was in Nigeria getting married to another woman. What has not happened to Funke Oshonaike! But like I said, you all can see me, I’m smiling, I’m happy. Thank God it has happened in the past and now I have a brighter future. If not for God in my life, where would I have been? I’m really grateful to God because this happiness that I have found inside of me, this joy that I’ve found can only be from God. I take care of myself without any sugar daddies. I take care of my children, take care of my bills. Sometimes they are just too much for me but one thing I know for sure is that as long as I have God, I have everything and I don’t need to worry.

What would you say to advise ladies and men going through turbulent marriages?

No matter what you are going through in your marriage right now, I’m not talking to only women, I’m referring to both male and female, please I beg you in the might name of God, if you are going through any abusive relationship, which can become an emotional or mental torture, please if it has turned to something that almost taking your life, I’m begging you right now; please step aside, move a little bit. Let your spouse or partner go find help. Let that your partner go find the therapy then you can come back again. And if it doesn’t work, just know that it’s not destined to work. Please don’t be sad. It is not your fault. No matter what people are saying, it is not your fault and it can never be your fault.