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About Their Last Moments With Kabiyeesi Olubadan
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The Interview Of Olori OLAYINKA, OLUFUNMILAYO & KHALIMAT
A few weeks ago, the people of the ancient city of Ibadan in Oyo State lost their king, the Olubadan of Ibadanland, Oba Mohood Olalekan Balogun, Ali Okunmade 11.
The charismatic monarch, who reigned for two years as the 42nd Olubadan, breathed his last on Thursday, March 14, 2024. He died at the University College Hospital (UCH) Ibadan at age 81 after a brief illness. However, City People’s Dare Adeniran (08057639079) paid a condolence visit to the Alarere palace of the late Olubadan last week.
Interestingly, the visit presented a rare opportunity of having an exclusive interview with Oba Balogun’s three Oloris. In the course of the brief but deep and emotional conversation, Olori Olayinka Balogun, Olori Olufunmilayo Balogun and Olori Khalimat Balogun all took turns to share their experiences as Oloris as well as their last moment with their husband who they all described as highly compassionate, loving and kind. It was indeed a quality time with the beautiful and equally successful Oloris. You can’t afford to miss excerpts of this interview. Enjoy it.
WHY I MARRIED OBA LEKAN BALOGUN DESPITE BEING A POLYGAMIST – OLORI OLAYINKA BALOGUN SPEAKS
Share with us your last moment with your husband, Oba Lekan Balogun?
I want to thank God that I am around from the beginning to the end and up to this time. We actually came to facilitate with him on the occasion of his second coronation anniversary which we had together as a family because of the ongoing Ramadan. The celebration was limited to the palace with few visitors. So it gave us that opportunity to sit down with him, dined and joked with him for the whole period. I am very happy with such grace because that was part of his last moment. Now, from the beginning of when he started having Malaria, I was with him from home to admission, and from admission to another admission. He struggled to stay alive, we could see that because I know my husband as a fighter. He was still joking, we were laughing. He was like, “you want to go back home abi” and I said yes. He said just wait for this to go then you will go back home. But at a stage the condition changed and as a professional I just thought this is a 50/50 chance. But we thank God because He gives and takes. He was very restful during his last moment and I am happy about that. He had his last breath at the University College Hospital (UCH). I saw some of my colleagues and they really tried. We had about ten doctors to him sometimes. They tried their best. I’m happy that his transition was very peaceful.
How would you describe your experience as Olori?
I met Baba 39 or 40 years ago because my first born is almost 40. That was precisely around 1984. And from the start of my relationship with him he has always been a companion, a man of the people. I found out quite early that he’s not someone that you can lay claim on. He’s not somebody that you can hold down. I know from the beginning that he’s highly compassionate. He would give when he didn’t even have much. He would compel you to give when you don’t have any.
People are always his priority not his family. He would definitely cater for his family but the first set of people are those coming from outside. I got to know all that at the early stage of the relationship. He’s well read, he’s learned. He loves politics, everybody knows. Sometimes when he had challenges he has this habit of walking down, that is typical British experience. He would walk down and press down and as he is pressing down he is talking to himself. And then he would say yes, I know what I’m going to do. For me, there is no challenge that he has not been able to surpass. He would always surpass challenges, thinking, reading, meeting people. He would do everything to convince you even sometimes fighting a good fight, advocating untill he gets a solution. He’s selfless.
What lesson have you learnt from him?
Compassion, reading and all that. I have learnt a lot from him. Infant his eloquent way of speaking was what brought me closer to him when we met. I learnt being selfless from him. Fortunately my mum has a bit of compassion traits in her. So I sort of put the two together and I am the same thing, my children are always complaining.
When I look back I thanks God that I picked those traits from my mother and him because as things are now I can’t stand looking at people suffering. I could feel that and connect with Kabiyesi that, compassion is something that once you have it you have got it. It’s not something that you just gain overnight.
What will you miss most about him?
Jokes. In fact one of my children said when they wrote their tributes, they wrote that they are sure that Dad is meeting with Baba Osogbo. Baba Osogbo is my father, and he would always lambast you by saying ‘’Yo ba Baba Osogbo”. So when they wrote their tributes they said they are sure that he’s meeting up with Baba Osogbo, their grandfather. His jokes were just too much. Even when you are panicking about something, he has a way of dousing the tension with jokes. I think I have picked from his jokes too. I have been married to him for about 40 years now.
How did you manage issue of age difference then?
I was not even ready to marry a married man because I am from a very good Christian home. But he told me he has not gotten anybody and I saw that there was nobody around that time. I married him and you know when you get pregnant, typically of Nigeria setting, then you are going to marry that person.Then later I started to understand his traditional settings and his own identity. So, from that tender age I knew it was going to be tough. But I am not a zooming in, zooming out wife.
They told me in my family you are married to this man, you stay glued to him. No story. You have decided to marry a Muslim, somebody that has married before, a politician.
But sometimes I can’t really connect his polygamous traits to his education. For someone with a British orientation, he lived a good part of his life in England since around age of 16. So how he got into this polygamous of a thing is what I don’t get sometimes. So maybe politics, maybe tradition, maybe Islam. I would ask myself questions and I would be the one answering for him. Until I started to just put it in my head that look, this man is not for one person. So I was able to cope and I have never regretted it.
How has your relationship with other wives been from the point when you discovered the polygamy traits in him?
Yes, there are women but there are Oloris. As Oloris we are like sisters.We all have children. We are 3 in number. We are coping well. We are all together as family. Even if we have any difference this is the time to make it up and move forward with life.
Will you still marry Oba Lekan Balogun if there is such opportunity?
I don’t know any other person. If he rises up today I am back. If I was able to accommodate all that we have been through together then why won’t I if he stands up today. We had a legal wedding in England and now there is no way to divorce him again, he’s gone. Where am I going? If he rises up now then I will be happy, we are back together.
How would you describe your late husband in a sentence?
Kabiyesi Oba Lekan Balogun is a man of the people. He’s selfless. He loves his children. From my tribute I actually added that he could be doing heavenly politics, seeking to know more about Islam or advocating for other people in heaven. That is him.
Tell us more about yourself, Olori?
I’m Olori Olayinka Olaitan Balogun. Am a professional nurse. I have had Specialist Nursing in England and I was planning to come back because I’m getting closer to my retirement. I have been in and out, I have never been too far from my husband. I have been coming every two months or six weeks since he became Olubadan. I have gotten an NGO which is going to take like whole time and I will be looking after the children and find something to do that will benefit the people if Ibadanland
“I WILL MISS HIS SENSE OF HUMOR”- OLORI OLUFUNMILAYO BALOGUN SHARES LAST MOMENT WITH LATE HUSBAND
We condole with you over the demise of your husband, Oba Lekan Balogun, the Olubadan of Ibadanland. May his soul rest in peace. Could you tell us about his last moments?
Thank you very much. I will rather talk about him not his last moments. He was a very loving and caring father and husband. He was a father to all. So many people used to come here and remind him of how he sponsored their education, how he paid their house rents etc. He was a philantropist to the core, a great one which I admired. I learnt so many things from him. I never knew he was going to die this last time. But I believe God actually wanted him to go and rest because it was a great battle which he fought. He was a great human being. He wasn’t one of us. Because there was nothing somebody would do to him, the moment you ask for forgiveness, no matter what, he would forgive. One day I asked him why, especially when he was into full time politics, why do you always forgive people who have done so many bad things against you? He would say he should be grateful that he wasn’t the one begging the person. I love him for that.
What is the greatest lesson you have learnt from him?
To always be good. You should always live your life, not to the extent of hurting yourself though, but to help others. I once asked Kabiyesi why he always give people something before us? He said, “let me be doing it for them because when road gets blocked for others, God would always come through for him.”
There was nothing he laid his hands upon that was not fulfilled. He lived a sincere life. Like I said yesterday, he wasn’t a billionaire but he lived a fulfilled life. None of his children died in his lifetime.
What would you miss most about him?
His sense of humor. He was a humourous person. He would abuse us, he would say ‘ori e kendi kendi’ your big head and all. These are the things everybody knows about him. Each time I woke up since the day he was buried that is the first thing that I always remember. He would say ‘Iya, kini mo fe fi s’enu bayi o’ woman, what am I going to put in my mouth now? I will start crying whenever I remembered those memories.
Any regret marrying an elderly person?
Not at all. He was very lively. I don’t even used to remember the age difference. It wasn’t a big deal.
What is your relationship with other Oloris?
I have a very cordial relationship with them. I didn’t know you were here, I have come to discuss something with her (referring to the most senior Olori, Olayinka Balogun). The other Olori, Olori Khalimat is inside too. She is the last Olori. We are very close. We were here gisting and playing till late in the night yesterday. That is who we are. Infact, myself and Olori Khalimat used to live together in Abuja before I moved back to Ibadan.
How has life been for you since your husband passed away some days back?
With God by my side everything will be fine. It is good he went to rest. That was my thought the moment big mummy (Olori Olayinka) made me realize he was gone. We were at the hospital together in the last moment. She was to sleep there. I said before I leave let me make you comfortable. I was to buy bottled water for big mummy so I can come back home to sleep. So on getting back I met her crying that he has gone. I later went to see his body. Big mummy drew me closer, she hugged me and comforted me. She made me strong at that moment. But seeing him lying peacefully made me happy.
What is the experience like as Olubadan Lekan Balogun’s Olori?
It was a bit tedious. Visitors here and there, different people to deal with and all. It was fun and at the same time tedious but I thank God I was able to cope.
So you will marry Oba Lekan Balogun again if the opportunity present itself?
I don’t mind. He was a great man.
Tell us about yourself ma?
I’m Olori Olufunmilayo Lekan Balogun. Am from Osun State, precisely Ilare-Ijesa. I’m a businesswoman.
“I LEARNT HUMILITY FROM MY LATE HUSBAND”- OLORI KHALIMAT BALOGUN SPEAKS ON HOW SHE MET & FELL IN LOVE WITH OBA LEKAN BALOGUN
What is it like to be Oba Lekan Balogun’s Olori?
Well, for me life as Olori to my husband was simple. What do I mean? It’s because if you know the kind of person he is, he’s a very simple person. He makes it easy for you to relate to his status and I will explain. I met him in 1999 and despite the fact that he was a Senator then, he was so humble. He carried himself with so much humility. So when you are with such a person if you have any ego per se it tends to come down. Because your ego can’t be higher than the person you are with. He would get somewhere he wouldn’t throw his weight around. So when he became Olubadan it was almost as easy as the first time I met him. I’m a civil servant, he didn’t make me resign. He could have asked me to leave my job and play the full time role of Olori. He allowed us to just be ourselves.
Has his simplicity, politics and larger than life image affected your life in any way?
Yes, I have learnt a lot from him because he’s very philosophical. He’s kind and loving. He’s very down to earth. Sometimes I really find it difficult to find the right words to describe him because it’s almost as If you are describing somebody that is not human.
That is the truth, except you don’t know him. He’s just a simple person.When he’s with his children he comes down to their level. He’s someone who respects constituted authority but he’s not intimidated by it. So I have learnt to just be myself. I have learnt not to be arrogant. I have learnt to be generous.
All these qualities you mentioned must have attracted you to him in the first place?
The truth of the matter is, it’s more of his Queens English. I met him while I was working in the National Assembly. I was working with a senator who was in charge of General Services. So one morning this tall, handsome, charming guy just walked in and came straight to me. He started talking because though my building is different from his building but you could see his building from mine.
So he took me to the window, he was saying…you see that building first floor is American floor, second floor German. I was like which one is German floor again? It’s just his charm and the rest is history.
What will you miss most about him?
His jokes. He makes a joke out of everything. Even if your child did something and you feel as a father he should scold the child, he would make a joke of it. There was never a dull moment with him. Even on the sick bed, he still tried to throw one or two jokes around. That is the kind of person he is.
Do you have any regret marrying an elderly man?
Absolutely no regrets. You may have had period of anticipation because I come from a shielded life. My father was a lecturer. Though he was a Muslim but married only my mum. So I was not in any way conversant with polygamy. But like I said, he is just a charming person. I used to tell some of my friends that we grew up together that they should just pray they don’t meet somebody like him. Because they where curious when they saw me in polygamy.
I don’t think I could have traded him for another person. He is very accommodating. How many men, how many traditional men allowed there wives to thrive? When he became Olubadan I was already an Assistant Director. I’m now an Executive Director In the Federal Civil Service. So he recognized the fact that I had a career and he allowed me to flourish along that line.
We are three that he his married to specifically.The most senior wife Olori Yinka Balogun, Olori Funmilayo Balogun and I am Olori Khalimat Balogun.
Olori Olayinka Balogun is an accomplished medical personnel in the U.K. He didn’t compel her to come back. And somehow our role sort of complimented each other. Olori Funmilayo Balogun who is more visible is based in Ibadan. She is an entrepreneur, she has thriving businesses. She still finds time to take care of Kabiyesi on a daily basis. I compliment her for that. We blended roles. I was working, I am still working and I will go back to my work.
I was actually going to ask you about your relationship with other Oloris?
That is what am saying.The common denominator here is Oba Lekan Balogun. So I think he was just a proper point. He won’t even give you the chance to….he would tell you that if he impregnates a mad woman he would collect the child. He didn’t shy away from his love for women. I think the problem usually comes when a man wants to play his people.
He won’t play you, he is an open book. So if you like it you jump in, if you don’t want it the decision is yours. But I assure you if you meet him you can’t jump out.
Tell us other things about Oba Lekan Balogun that people don’t know?
I don’t think if there is anything that I know about him that people don’t know. Will I say he loves books, he loves jokes a lot. He’s generous and very down-to-earth.
So if there is an opportunity to marry Oba Balogun again you will marry him?
I will marry him all over again. That is straight from my heart. He has allowed me to be who I am, and he’s also an accomplished person.
He’s not somebody that no woman, considering his achievements in life, wouldn’t want to be associated with. At some point I didn’t even feel I was married to a polygamist. Because when you are with him alone, he treats you alone. Like me now, he knows I’m an outgoing person. I love to go out on dates. So when we were in Abuja, where I am based, we would go out almost every Fridays. He would make you feel you are alone with him. There are some women that are married to monogamy men but it feels like they are in polygamy because other women are pulling the men. But for him, when he is with you, he’s with you fully.
Which was your last private moment with him? What did you talk about? Was there any sign he was going to die?
There was no sign actually. I spoke with him on Monday from Abuja. I do call him offen but that Monday was special because it was his second year anniversary on the throne.
The kind of person he is, he played it down. That is his humility. He was like “ehh so ti ya pe niyen” really, so it already two years? I prayed for him because I had a small injury, he asked me about it.
Coincidentally, I was supposed to come to Ibadan the Friday he was buried. But when we started talking he said the ticket is high. I now said maybe I should leave it till Easter so I could save cost and all that. So when he fell ill that Monday, the senior wife, Olori Olayinka Balogun texted me immediately he was moved to UCH. They didn’t want me to panic but when he got to UCH I have to be informed.
Apparently she had sent the message before midnight, I got it around 4:30am when I wanted to eat for Ramadan.I took the first flight from Abuja, I got to Ibadan and straight to UCH. So we spent some quality time.
What was going through your mind at that moment before he finally passed away?
I was just blank
Tell us about yourself?
I am Olori Khalimat Balogun. I am 55, I was 55 in February 28. I’m a civil servant, I’m a Deputy Director with the Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) under the Civil Service.
I have a daughter for Oba Lekan Balogun, Omotilewa Balogun. She will be 21 in April. I’m actually from Kogi State but now from Oyo State by marriage.
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