Top Actress, Lilian Ogechi Esoro has been through hell and back. She got married to Ubi Franklin, the current Special Adviser to Cross River State Governor Benedict Ayade on Tourism in 2015. The wedding was elaborate, flamboyant, and the talk-of-the-town! A year later, they found they weren’t meant together and separated.
Offering an insight into what really happened, Ubi Franklin said the marriage was shaky from the start. During a chat with Toke Makinwa, an on-air personality, he said, “Here’s what people don’t know, my marriage had been shaky from engagement. Some people always say, ‘you shouldn’t have gone ahead with the marriage at all’. But, when I think about it, I made the right decision.”
“Now, my son is very important to me. With everything that happened, when I want to feel sad, I show that out. Social media is trying to push the narrative that marriage isn’t important but actually is. “I was reading something and a working lady was saying it was until she got married that people started respecting her. The reason people see marriage as a problem is that we’ve lost time having conversations.” “Go out for dinner anywhere and everyone is on their phone when dinner is meant for you to see the environment and reminisce on things. People are scared from the beginning of relationships to let the other know about them.”
To make the separation official, Lillian filed for divorce in a Lagos High Court, but the judge denied it.
In 2019, Ubi filed for divorce in an Abuja court, but the judge threw out the case. On January 28th, 2021, the divorce was finalized, at an Abuja court, with Lilian taking custody of their son, Jayden. The couple had a lengthy divorce trial and this took a toll on Lilian’s mental health. Then, her mum, who had been a pillar of support through her travails, died in August 2021. The Tinsel actress could no longer hold it together.
She announced the death on her Instagram and said she did not “know how to act anymore” as she missed her mother terribly. She described her mother as a comforter, as well as her children’s angel on earth. She continued, “What do you want me to tell Jayden? Who will comfort me? Who will comfort us? You were your children’s angel here on earth!”
She slid into depression and had to seek for help. She got help and decided to speak about her issues during a rare Instagram LIVE session with Pastor Bolaji Idowu, the Lead Pastor of Harvesters International Christian Centre (HICC) on Monday, December 5th, 2022.
This was the first time she was going to address her issues and the discussion turned out to be revealing as she openly talked about her depression and the steps she took to get out. The CEO of the Lioca Group, which includes a spa business as well as a skin care brand, said depression and other mental health issues are not talked about as much as they should be in this part of the world. “It is not something I think anyone should go through, and I was there. I’ve had my fair share; to be very honest with you, I almost threw in the towel.
“Again, we should be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with. I just wanted to be away from everybody; at that time, I’m sure many people noticed. At that point, I even stopped appearing on screen. I just lost interest in everything and everyone. I crawled into a shell that I’m wondering where it went to now.”
The mother of one also revealed how her battle with depression led her to birth a foundation in 2017 to help other women going through the same struggles. “In my depressed state, I thought my life was entirely over. What more could I do? My acting career, how long can it sustain me? I just had a lot of things in my head.
“As a single mum, I have extra baggage; how do I go about it? How do I move about it? This is something that God has bestowed on top of me. Am I ready for this? And sometimes, I found the courage. Bless her soul, and my mum also played a huge part in helping me,” she said. To help herself, the 40-year-old actress said she threw herself into work, day and night.
She said, “I took on jobs nonstop. I took on jobs back to back, and I was not relenting. I was working tirelessly like a mad person. I could count how many times I slept on my bed because it was from one set to another.
“I’m just here to encourage those who feel their life is over wherever they think they’re, even if they are single parents. Believe it or not, it’s not the end of your life. It’s something that I feel I need to tell a lot of people. Don’t stay down.”
The first step towards healing, she said, was to forgive herself. “I’m now open to having a relationship and having an open mind because when you expect too much, they might end up failing you. So I’m going with an open heart and an open mind, new blessings, everything new and fresh. “If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, we have many goals. I will focus my energy on more creative things rather than the hurt, pain and baggage. It’s over and done.” Lilian’s acting career started in 2005 when her friend Bovi cast her in the soap opera ‘Extended Family’.
However, she became more notable, playing Nurse Abigail in the television series ‘Clinic Matters’ playing Nurse Abigail.
She has gone on to act in many films, including but not limited to: ‘Merry Men’, ‘The Real Yoruba Demons’, ‘A Lot Like Love’, ‘A House Without A Home’, ‘Meet The in-Laws’, and ‘3 is a Crowd’.
With over 2 million followers on Instagram, Lilian was nominated for best actress in a comedy at 2013 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards. On his part, Ubi Franklin is a music artiste Manager. Born Ubi Ekapong Ofem, Ubi is also a politician, entrepreneur, TV show host and the founder of record label, Made Men Music Group and Instant Apartment.
He was also nominated for the City People Music Award for Artiste Manager of the Year in 2017 and 2018 as well as the The Future Awards Africa Nigeria Prize for Business in 2017.
They have both moved on big-time and co-parenting Jayden Neatochukwu, their son.
-IYABO OYAWALE
(08033564055)
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