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ABUJA Pastor, ATINUKE ASEGIEME
There is no denying the fact that thousands of pastors and prophets now litter the landscape, each with his own story and calling. And just as we have these men of God who are working tirelessly in the vineyard of God, there are also women who are doing very well too in the vineyard. But very few of them stand out. And one of them is the amazing Pastor Atinuke Asegieme, one of the wave making female pastors in Abuja right now. She is a lawyer by training and an extremely intelligent woman who is passionate about the word of God and about protecting the girl child from all forms of abuse. She is also an eloquent public speaker who has no inhibitions using her personal life story to offer hope and support to the distressed and abused girl child, like she did at the recently held ARISE Women conference convened by the enigmatic Siju Iluyomade. Pastor Atinuke, was one of the Speakers at the event and she literally brought the roof down with her compelling true life story after she revealed her sexual abuse ordeal in the hands of parents domestic staff when she was a young girl.
This fire brand energetic pastor is the first daughter of a family of seven children. She attended the Holy Child College, South West, Ikoyi, Lagos.
She bagged a degree in Law from the prestigious Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife and was among the first graduating set of lawyers from the Nigerian Law School Bwari, Abuja, where she got connected to her heart-throb and husband Pastor Kennedy Asegieme who she’s been married to for almost 20years. The union is blessed with two lovely and beautiful daughters, Jemimah and Shekinah.
She is the convener and founder of ‘Lineage of Hope and Life Empowerment Initiative’ with seven volunteer professionals.
Her passion is ‘womanhood’ and ‘the family’. An assertion that is evident in her teaching and life style. Her mandate is to restore the dignity of ‘womanhood’ back to women and young girls. “Catch them Young” is the programme for girls in secondary schools and secondary school age. ‘Queens Indeed’ is for women of marriageable age and the last segment is an outreach for battered women with the ultimate desire to ensure every woman discovers her God-ordained purpose and assignment no matter who she is, where she is and at what level in life she finds herself to fulfill their destinies.
‘Mama T’ as she is fondly called is a Mentor and Coach to many women, young girls and married couples. Pastor Tinu is a greatly respected minister and conference speaker in much demand at home and abroad with great passion for the word of God. She is well known for her clear and practical message of hope and family values. She has a burning passion to see the empowerment of women in her generation, her nation and the world at large.
Meet her any day, she is extremely interactive and easy to get along with.
She has ministered in several churches and conferences to men, women and singles in Nigeria, Canada, United States and UK.
She presently features on 106.3 WeFM, Abuja on We Woman, a show that aims to Empower, Enlighten, and Entertain women.
Pastor Tinu Asegieme is co-convener of one the fastest growing marriage institutes in Africa; Cana International Marriage Institute, with base in Abuja. The mandate is to restore the value of marriage with strong inclination of the Scriptures through the ‘Marriage Enrichment’ , to help singles get the right scriptural perspective to living and marriage through the “Missions To Singles” programs.
She recently released her best selling book “Purity Rocks” , a practical guide for young people bordering on issues of sex and sexuality and God’s perspectives.
Pastor Ken and Tinu Asegieme both serve as Associate Pastors at the Guiding Light Assembly, Abuja Worship Centre.
Pastor Atinuke often spends a large chunk of her time counseling women on relationship and marital issues. She delights in offering tips and pieces of advice that help hundreds of women rebuild their relationships and marriages. When City People sought to know what advice she would offer women who are told to forgive a cheating husband knowing they (the wife) would be thrown out of the marriage if she was the one caught cheating. The very lively Pastor Atinuke answered:
”This may sound hard but first of all pray for him, secondly, I am not trying to over spiritualise the issue but perhaps there is more to it that meets the eye. Lastly you must forgive, again it brings us back to the love Christ has for us despite all we have done He forgives us. We must also examine ourselves and be sure we are not pushing our husbands away. Many men feel comfortable going from the office to hang out at isi ewu joints meanwhile he should feel more comfortable in the home. There is a lot more to say on this depending on a variety of factors but first and foremost one must pray.’
And about a violent or toxic marriage, when does she think a woman should walk away from it? Or should the woman stay put and hope he will change? She answered, “Once violence enters a marriage the couple should separate. Note I didn’t say divorce but separate immediately and reassess the situation from a place of safety. It may also be necessary to get a third party such as a Pastor or close friend involved. However, I would advise only involving family as a very last resort especially if you plan to reconcile, as family will have more emotions involved and may not be able to be objective or forgive the offending spouse when the issue is resolved.”
We asked her to tell us about how she has kept the sparks flying in her marriage of over 20 years and she obliged with a revealing response. “ It’s been Gods grace really, I ask God for grace daily and make sure that I bear no grudges against him. I go to bed empty and wake up asking for fresh grace for the new day. In the past it could take days before telling my husband how he had offended me but today I will tell him immediately and I forgxxintentional, we both are and that has helped our relationship immensely.
I also make sure I spend quality time with my husband as that is one of his love languages. During the course of the day we make sure we speak to each other frequently as communication is a very important aspect of any marriage. There is the tempation to neglect your spouse during the day since you will see at the end of the day but it’s wrong as you get home tired having given so much to people you interact with all day, thus we try our best to make sure we communicate during the course of the day. We also ensure we spend quality time with our children as its a good way of showing them how things are supposed to be. At the end of the day our children will soon leave us so its important we understand each other and enjoy each others company. Thankfully, as we apply all this we find that with each passing year we are growing together and growing more in love.”
How about couples who are experiencing lack of excitement in their marriage, what would she say to them? “Sex is an important way to bond as a couple. Another thing that is really important is understanding your husbands love language. For example with my husband, he loves quality time so once I got that revelation I cut down on my going out. Many times we are busy with other people and fail to spend time with the most important person, so that needs to change. When your husband is around try and give him attention and let him know he is important, when my husband comes home in the evening I stop all phone calls and give him attention. Many of us are so addicted to our phone and are having affairs with Instagram, Facebook and whatsapp, put down your phone and pay attention to your husband. Also ensure there is frequent communication and try and rememebr those things that made you fall in love in the first place.”
-WALE LAWAL
(08037209290)
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