Amaka is a very smart, industrious and hardworking woman. And she is also gorgeous. She works in one of the biggest financial institutions in Nigeria. She has done very well for herself in her career and has risen so fast. Amaka is a devoted Christian, and exercise freak and in her free time designs for her friend who has a fashion house. Very calm and easygoing. Talk about a complete package.
She has just been recently transferred to another state. However, getting to her new posting she made up her mind that no one was going to know anything about her. She only just went to work. After a few weeks, she finally decided that it was time for her to start attending church. She loves to be active in church
“I love serving in my father’s house, it feels my heart with so much joy,” she told anyone who cared to listen.
Things are different now after her last experience, she just got tired. Fortunately for her, she got transferred out of her state. This meant a fresh start for her. Initially, she had said she would only attend online services at least that way no one will know her. It took a while before she made up her mind to start attending a physical church, it took a long time before she decided to join the church’s workers in training class so that she could join church’s workforce.
Amaka this time around joined the youth church, she had been in the choir in her former church and she was easily noticed as she had a very good voice. She believes that in the youth church nobody sees you and nobody will notice you. A lot of times, she will miss the choir but she told herself it would save her a lot of drama and heartbreak if no one noticed her. She carried out every assignment diligently and went about doing her thing. Oh, did I mention that Amaka is thirty-eight years old but she had the look and stature of a twenty-five-year-old.
A few months after a customer had an issue with his account and he was very furious, he was pacing up and down in the banking hall. Amaka’s regional director was in town that day and this kind of scenario would not be good for her so she went into the banking hall and saw this elderly man who would likely be in his late seventies, she respectfully asked that he followed her into her office. When the elderly man entered, she apologized and promised to sort out whatever the issue was.
She attended to the man, Sir James and he left the banking hall a very happy man. From that moment Sir James became Amaka’s friend. He calls her “Amaka my daughter” every time he saw her and she in return would call him “my adopted Daddy”. Sometimes even when he had nothing to do in the bank, he would stop by just to say hello and see how is doing. On one occasion when she was working late, he brought her food. One Thursday morning he had called to find out if Amaka was in the office, when she answered yes, he asked if he could come around to see her and she obliged him.
When Sir James got in, she was worried because he wasn’t looking so well.
“Adopted Daddy, are you fine?” she asked
“You look like you haven’t slept for days” she continued
He told her there was something important that he needed to discuss with her. He had found out during one of their conversations that Amaka wasn’t married but he wasn’t sure if she had a child or not.
“Amaka, my daughter, I have studied you over time and found out that you are a very good girl, level-headed and a Christian. I want to introduce my son to you, I am very sure you will make a beautiful couple” he said.
Amaka was shocked beyond words, she likes Sir James and did not want to disrespect him she politely told him to give her some time to think about this. He stood up and left.
By the time she got back home that evening, Sir James had sent her his son’s pictures and videos to her. He also added a little bio.
“His name is Osayi. Osayi is a medical doctor, a pediatrician. He is forty-four years old. He is exactly six feet tall. He is a devoted Christian. He loves music. He loves to play football when he is not busy. He is not married because according to him, he hasn’t met the one. He is temporarily married to his job, I sincerely hope he sees in you what I have seen in you.”
“Okay, Sir, seen” she replied.
“He doesn’t look bad” Amaka said to herself. She dropped the phone and sat down to eat dinner. When she got into bed that night she read Sir James’s messages over again and again. All of a sudden she got scared.
Amaka has a twenty-two-year-old son in The Nigerian Law School. This is a part of her life she desperately wants to keep a secret. She was raped by a family friend when she was fifteen years old, got pregnant and had a baby at sixteen. The family friend denied it and lied that he had seen her with different guys at different times. Sadly her parents did not believe her. Fortunately for her, she finished her WAEC just before her tummy started showing. As soon as she got home from school, her mother took her straight to the village to be with her grandmother. Her mother’s elders sister was the only one who believed Amaka wasn’t lying. She moved Amaka from the village to her house in the city. That was where Amaka had her baby…
Like the Yoruba people will say “Omo bibi o kin she arun”. (Being a single parent is not a disease). That’s the way it should be but is that the case? No, absolutely not.
Like I said in the first article, women become single mothers through different ways. Amaka’s story is one way. The reality is when teenagers become mothers, we should not be quick to judge and conclude that it was because of waywardness. Yoruba people even have a way of putting it “o gboyun” pardon me for those who don’t understand Yoruba. (That phrase just is like a conclusion that the young girl was wayward).
That phrase is demeaning and sadly even when the teenage mother and her child grow up and turn out well, some people never stop using the phrase to qualify the duo….. so sad.
When a young man takes home a woman he wants to marry and introduces her as a single mother, sadly most mothers put down their feet that their son will not marry a single mother. They automatically conclude that she is a single mother because of her waywardness. But when their “single mum daughter” brings home a single man that has never been married, then “It is the Lord’s doing” talk about double standards.
Don’t judge people until you hear their story and even when you do hear their story. Do not judge them.